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atara
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| Posted: March 29 2011 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
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I have gone to confession for envy and I already know I will need it again.
So many around don't have to work or they are able to still make it on their husband's income but we can't. I work as little as possible (part-time) but it's not enough to keep my son home with me all the time.
Can I be honest and say sometimes I feel envious of others? Than I pile on even more guilt when I hear podcasts or things with people insisting women stay home 24/7. I feel even worse, then!
I know not everything is all or nothing and I have managed to find a grey area where I spend more time with my child than most working women I know so I am grateful for that. I am grateful that I like his learning center and the teachers are responsive to his needs and any of my suggestions. I am grateful that the Learning Center is dependable and so my son has a regular schedule. I am grateful that I don't have to worry about a sitter showing up. I am grateful that I do not work more than necessary - just enough to pay our bills. I am grateful that I make the sacrifice to spend every morning with my son instead of letting him go with his father at 7am to the learning center. I am grateful I only work three days a week. I am grateful that other homeschooling families are in my circle because they inspire me.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: March 29 2011 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
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atara wrote:
...insisting women stay home 24/7. I feel even worse, then!
.... I am grateful that other homeschooling families are in my circle because they inspire me. |
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And you inspire me  . Thanks for sharing your cross with us. Being new here, I do hope you find a ton of support for your desire to learn together at home. I hope you will also find support in carrying your crosses, as each member here carries her own. Together we can lighten each other's loads, with God's help  .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
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I saw this thread weeks ago and wanted to respond but hadn't had a chance to come back until now.
I "hear" your struggle and pain! It is so hard sometimes, isn't it? We are pulled in so many directions by the world around us and by our own thoughts and desires. We want what is best for our families and sometimes it's hard when we look around at others. At least this is the case for me.
Over Lent I was in a group that watched a video by Fr. Robert Barron titled "Seven Deadly Sins, Seven Lively Virtues." Your thread caught my eye especially because he speaks of envy and it's 'cure,' admiration. One of the things he said that really struck me was that the universe is full of inequalities and that's the way it's supposed to be. God made a world that is radically unequal because we all have different missions in life. [So we need different gifts (mental, physical and financial).] Well, this was earth-shattering for me! I *know* that we have different talents, but to think that different energy levels/personalities, finances, physical attributes (or lack of) are all meant to serve God's purpose for my life, well, wow... I just hadn't thought of that. Anyway, in the weeks following that portion of the dvd, I have thought about the idea that God has given me certain things and has "deprived" me of certain things because that is what is best for me. I have tried in recent months to praise God and shout out all of the things I'm grateful for when I am focused on a half-empty cup. It *has* helped me lots. But the insight that Fr. Barron brought has helped a lot too. I hope that it helps you.
I also want to add to please not beat yourself up! Don't listen to those who say women should stay home 24/7. Don't listen to anyone else or look anywhere else. You are doing the best you can for your family. God *knows* your heart. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. And all of that guilt doesn't do you any good. And, yes, it's ok to admit that you're envious. (IMO anyway!) Be honest with God and with yourself. He knows you anyway. He will guide and heal you. You can tell Him that you are envious but that you don't want to be. He will listen and guide and heal you in His time.
(I hope that didn't sound bossy!  My heart just feels for you because I really know how it feels to be torn inside by what "must be" vs. what everyone else is doing around you and what "they" say you should do.)
__________________
Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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florasita
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| Posted: May 03 2011 at 11:16pm | IP Logged
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I've just been writing about jealousy & envy & the gifts of sharing & being vs jealousy & envy .
I've been reading Charles Stanley's book Surviving in an Angry world it is very good when dealing with abusive angry people .
I've had to deal with several people who've been envious . it seemed strange to me , but then God helped me see how even on the outside their life appeared good and wonderful inside there was great insercurity .
Mother Teresa really helped me with envy and these people seeing that yes I see Mother Teresa and love her but I do not mimic her or wish to be her . When I really see who she is I will actually be seeing God and she therefore inspires me to be me . just being . that is the difference . envy wishes us to have what others have not seeing that we also already do have Him just like they do  envy is a responce to feeling unloved by God , feeling He must love another more , that they are somehow with Him more then we are etc. missing that He in fact is always with us it is just we who put up those barriors , those prison walls.
I tended to be a person who practiced the sin of jealousy , very nasty indeed and very self serving and selfish I cannot believe I could be such a pathetic creature , like a gulim from Lord of the rings Oh I dare never return there ever !
I can see how envy is much more difficult to fall into now in our world that tells us all the time via different forms of media of what we want , should need and if we do not live this way or that and aquire certain things and have a certain image we are just not good enough . I mean who wouldn't fall into the trap of wishing to be something we are not. yes it can even happen in christian catholic side too . what image do we place on others that is a good catholic family ? how many statues does a family need in order to be really devote , what are our own expectations and stereotypes in our own heads that tell us in order to be a good catholic woman we need have this or do that ?
I always think of the mexican Indian women who live in stick huts , they may have a few candles , a rosary and perhaps a framed picture , or a statue if they are blessed with one . they attend church every single day . do they need what we have in order to have a good life , to be good catholic women etc. ? most are content in their life .
I'm rambling now it is late I can see I'd go on and on 
__________________
May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: May 04 2011 at 7:39am | IP Logged
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I'm not sure why I'm just now seeing this atara, but maybe it's God's timing! The other day my dd was feeling sorry for herself, going on and on about a really cool thing that her best friend got. It's something that we could never afford. I became angry with her, told her she needs to be thankful for all her blessings, tell God she's sorry, etc. I felt so angry inside! After taking a step back and really thinking about it, my anger wasn't towards my dd, it was towards myself. I felt the same envy! I want my kids to be able to have those neat things too and it bothers me when they are sad because they don't. At adoration yesterday I made myself a little note to remember envy when I go to confession next!
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: May 04 2011 at 7:41am | IP Logged
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cathhomeschool wrote:
| Your thread caught my eye especially because he speaks of envy and it's 'cure,' admiration. One of the things he said that really struck me was that the universe is full of inequalities and that's the way it's supposed to be. God made a world that is radically unequal because we all have different missions in life. [So we need different gifts (mental, physical and financial).] Well, this was earth-shattering for me! I *know* that we have different talents, but to think that different energy levels/personalities, finances, physical attributes (or lack of) are all meant to serve God's purpose for my life, well, wow... I just hadn't thought of that. Anyway, in the weeks following that portion of the dvd, I have thought about the idea that God has given me certain things and has "deprived" me of certain things because that is what is best for me. |
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Beautifully said! I think I'll print this and post it somewhere as a reminder!
__________________
Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 04 2011 at 8:04am | IP Logged
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cathhomeschool wrote:
| I *know* that we have different talents, but to think that different energy levels/personalities, finances, physical attributes (or lack of) are all meant to serve God's purpose for my life, well, wow... I just hadn't thought of that. |
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This is a truth which seems to have been lost in recent years, but it is so helpful when we are trying to accept God's plan for our lives and to not let ourselves be drawn into the sin of envy. The old hymn "All Things Bright and Beautiful" has a verse, which is never sung anymore! that expresses this idea:
The rich man in his castle,
The poor man at his gate,
God made them high or lowly,
And ordered their estate."
What a concept for us today who believe we have a right to material prosperity and luxury and who become angry when we can't have, not what we need, but what we WANT. I struggle with this, too...even though we have more than many! How awful is that! I have learned that there is never enough to fill this self-centered desire for more; the only escape is to trust in God that His plan for our life is the right plan and the good plan, and to practice gratitude and contentment with less. Jesus, I trust in You!
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to  dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: The cure for envy is gratitude
