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lisat.momof6
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Posted: March 22 2011 at 5:53am | IP Logged Quote lisat.momof6

I'm curious! How many children do you have? And how do you feel about having more? I have 6, and feel overwhelmed of the thought of having another baby, which is scary because DH and I have trouble with NFP. I really want to be "la la, its God's will, la la" but I'm struggling bad!!!!
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Trinity
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Posted: March 22 2011 at 7:22am | IP Logged Quote Trinity

We only have two and would love more. We are not even using any of the NFP methods. I want to leave the size of our family entirely up to the Lord.

I admit to feeling a little impatient sometimes as I have not even been pregnant in three whole years. I continually remind myself that God alone knows when the right time is.

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Lisbet
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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:03am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Eleven. More? If that is what God desires for my sanctification. I struggle. Every. Day. My husband and I are still young-ish. If I think of the possibilities, I get overwhelmed. So I try to just focus on the now and deal with the future in the future!

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:36am | IP Logged Quote Grace&Chaos

We have six, yes at times I feel overwhelmed too, but as our family size grows so has our organizational skills and habits. This has helped me feel less stressed.

And lets not forget continuous prayer for patience and grace .

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:43am | IP Logged Quote Christine

I have 7 children. My husband and I would really like to have more children, but we are learning that our family size really is in God's hands. We always thought that we would have at least 10 children, but God's will for us seems different.

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:48am | IP Logged Quote Susana

Grace&Chaos wrote:
We have six, yes at times I feel overwhelmed too, but as our family size grows so has our organizational skills and habits. This has helped me feel less stressed.

And lets not forget continuous prayer for patience and grace .


Me too! My husband and I have 6 children, and because of them we are constantly having to discipline ourselves to have a more orderly life! :)

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DominaCaeli
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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:56am | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

Grace&Chaos wrote:
We have six, yes at times I feel overwhelmed too, but as our family size grows so has our organizational skills and habits. This has helped me feel less stressed.

And lets not forget continuous prayer for patience and grace .


I totally agree with this too. I have four (with #5 due in August), and even though they're all under five years old, I often think that I have it easier now than I did with two infants. My organizational skills, homemaking skills, mothering skills--I have grown in all those areas over the last few years. And now I have little helpers as well!

My husband and I had trouble getting pregnant at first, and I spent a couple years worried we wouldn't be able to have the big family we so wanted. Now the last few children have come in such quick succession that I sometimes get worried about how many we may end up having...it goes both ways!

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 11:34am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

We have 9.

1) anticipation is always more nervewracking than actual fact. You'd have a good year for everyone to grow and get ready. And once you're pregnant, you stop worrying about *What if* and can just figure "well we'll deal with it"

2) your children are growing. I know it can be hard at times especially if your kids are close together and all still pretty young.. BUT they do grow and that changes the dynamics all over the place. People who don't have a large family give me a really odd look when I tell them that taking my 9 to Mass is actually easier than when there was only 4 or 5 of them to take. Older kids need little direction to behave, they help with the little guys.. the little guys identify with their siblings better and copy how the older kids act.. where when they were all fairly young I was still training ALL OF THEM and trying to keep the babies quiet etc.

Not that it isn't still difficult.. and I often remind myself of Matthew 6:34. "Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof." I have the grace for today and dealing with what I have. I don't have the grace for dealing with "what if's". And when/if I get to one of those "what if's" things will have changed, including the grace I am granted for dealing with them. It doesn't mean it's not work.. but most often, whatever I worry about even if it happens is not near as bad as I would anticipate anyway.





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Posted: March 22 2011 at 11:35am | IP Logged Quote JamieCarin

I have two that came quickly after 5 years of infertility. I totally want more...I have a terrible case of baby fever right now. At the same time I worry about my ability to mother more children for no other reason than because I am SOOOOO LAZY/SELFISH!!! This is a constant struggle for me...MOTIVATION!

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote krygerzoo

I have 5 on the planet.
Although I would LOVE to have more kiddos, the last one and I came close to not making it . Now that I'm 42 I'm seriously doubting we'll be able to have more. Of course, we'd accept another blessing graciously! But I know that would be difficult, too.

I like the discipline that it calls us to, as well.

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Posted: March 22 2011 at 10:53pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

We have three (with one other in heaven). I go between really wanting another baby (it would be thru adoption) and being completely content with my family exactly as it is.
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Posted: March 23 2011 at 10:26am | IP Logged Quote mamaslearning

We have four - 7, almost 5, 2 and 6 months. I'm not worried about handling more kids, it's that I do not want to be pregnant again, ever. My last two pregnancies were so difficult, and I'm still not stable after this last one. I was not able to care for my children during the pregnancy, and relied upon much outside help. With lots of prayer, we will try to discern God's will for our family. I keep feeling that this is the extent of our family, but I'm still trying to discern if this is from God or just my fear.

Adoption is another option. I would be open to another baby, I just don't want to have to go through a physical pregnancy and birth again. Plus, I'm almost 40 and not in the greatest of shape/health at the moment.

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Posted: March 23 2011 at 1:43pm | IP Logged Quote Elena

I have six and one in heaven.

Determine what you are struggling specifically with? Is it money? laundry? organization? Figure that out and concentrate on those one or two areas.

and if this helps, add 10 years to where your kids are now and remember that in the blink of an eye, that is where you will soon be!

10 years ago my kids were 12, 8, 6 3 and almost 2. And now that they are 22, 18, 16, 13 12 and 5 I look back longingly for those days of littles! I will also say that having my youngest was the best gift I could have given my other children. They have loved her, nurtured her, played with her and spoiled her! They are all the better for having her in their lives (and she is a lucky little girl to have those attentive siblings!)

Savor every day, do the stuff that has to be done, and remember the big stuff can be done when the kids are older.

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Posted: March 23 2011 at 4:22pm | IP Logged Quote Pilgrim

We have 5 with 4 of them being 3 years old and under. Dh and I have our own moments at varying times with being overwhelmed, but most of the time we just smile at each other with that knowing smile of being grateful for all the Littles God has enriched our lives with. Being worn out and overwhelmed is natural in the midst of stress, and as my dear mother reminded me the other day, even good stress, happy things, can tax you. The decision of openess to life is a very personal thing between spouses, and most certainly with prayer and seeking God's will and the grace and strength to live His will. It can be a very hard thing to discern God's will, and it can be scary and emotionally difficult. Offer it constantly to Our Lord and Blessed Mother bathing your difficulties in grace. This was difficult for us this last time after having had a very difficult miscarriage where we could have lost me too. It was hard not to be scared to be open again, to risk that we could loose another. But the Lord blessed us with the sweetest little baby with the most content and laid-back personality. It will not always go this way, somtimes he allows us difficulties and sufferings, but He knows what we suffer and He *IS* right there with us. There was an awesome quote in a movie I watched once that was something like this "The truth of God's love is not that He will keep us from falling, but that He will be right there waiting to pick us up when we do." The fact that we experience any difficult times, and are oevrwhelmed does not mean that God's grace is not supporting us, it's often just His allowing us to grow and strecth our spiritual muscles.

I'm sorry you are experiencing this struggle, you have my empathy and prayers. I think most of us here can totally relate, and have had our moments of feeling this struggle. May God bless you with comfort and peace, and reward you for trying to seek His will and be open to Life even if you don't feel it right now. and

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Posted: March 24 2011 at 1:48am | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

We have 2 here and one in heaven. I would love more but it doesn't seem to be in God's plan for us. And there are many reasons and now, I see why. God is taking care of me and has blessed us abundantly. But I didn't see that until the past 2 years

If you haven't you might try to find an NFP counselor. My neighbor used one because she was getting pregnant every year and needed a break. She was able to better space her kiddos with some help.



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lisat.momof6
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 5:38am | IP Logged Quote lisat.momof6

When I said we have trouble with NFP, I meant that we have trouble "waiting" for phase three. I'm very good at it, my husband isn't very worried about anything.It seems like I'm being selfish and just need to let God be in control. I need to focus on being he's servent and stop obsessing about the negatives. WOW, I feel my faith growing this very second!!LOL!! Thanks for the prayers!
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 5:52am | IP Logged Quote Nat B

We have 5 children. I too, understand the feelings of being overwhelmed - the last two days have been really hard. We are open to more children, but it is scary.

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Posted: March 24 2011 at 11:25am | IP Logged Quote mom3aut1not

We have only four with a big gap between #3 and #4. I really wanted a baby before #4, but afterwards I felt a sense of completion. I have not desired another baby since which is probably as well as my dh and I are both past 50. I have also had four miscarriages, and I could not cope with another without a lot of grace.

I am approaching menopause, and I confess that I feel that another (probably autistic as the risk goes up with the age of the *father* and we already have three ASD kids) child would overwhelm me. Each of our ASD kids have been farther along the autism spectrum than the one before. The prospect of having another in addition to the special needs I have to deal now is overwhelming. I have two kids who are not going to be independent any time soon (several years at best) and two more who. God willing, will be in a few years. I spend about 4-5 hours a day homeschooling my youngest; thank God my olders are all through high school. I don't have the energy I did even ten years ago, and my little guy needs more help than his sisters did. Add a more impaired child into the mix..... I don't think there are enough hours in the day.

As each child was being born, I offered that child to God as a priest or religious or whatever; He gave me four kids with special needs. That's okay although it would have been neat to have a son become a priest or a daughter become a nun. I accept that I will probably never be a grandmother. I accept (with some tears) the isolation that comes from being a mom in my circumstances. I just don't feel that I can cope with any more. It's hard enough getting the house clean* and everything done for the kids I have, and it's only going to get harder as I age.

*in theory, of course -- my house is almost never what it should be.

In Christ,
Deborah
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 1:25pm | IP Logged Quote krygerzoo

Deborah ~ Hardly shocking! My Kaden had Asperger's so I fully empathize with being overwhelmed! He was our oldest & my other kiddos aren't on the autism spectrum. Several have sensory issues, mild ADD, but all are way "easier" than he was. HOWEVER ~~ he was THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON I EVER KNEW!!    The gifts that he brought our family (besides the FAITH!!) are immeasurable.

He came close to being an only child due to the great difficulties he faced. But God worked so hard through Kaden and I'm eternally grateful. I know how isolating parenting a special needs child can be.    I am sorry for your heartache. I know our little saint in heaven prays for children and families struggling with ASD.

Although this is tough, not having them is tougher. With the grace of our loving Lord, you can do this!!

May the Peace of Christ fill your heart and your home.

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cecilia4kids
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Posted: March 24 2011 at 2:02pm | IP Logged Quote cecilia4kids

Well, we have 4 on earth and 2 in Heaven and every months goes by and I can't stand to see my temperature drop and off another cycle begins. I would love so much to have more but its been over a year and half since we lost our baby girl Marta. But I now learn to be very bless with what I have and not with what I don't have. We seem to have it all, nice home, good kids, friends, a great job for my husband, and nice business at home and I feel why? why haven't we been able to have more? God is calling me to let Him be in charge no matter what size.

Have you ladies with a few children (like 4 or less) do you ever feel being judge by those with larger families as to why you don't have more? I feel like at times, I should have a t-shirt says, yes, I only have 4 (whatever number) but open to more?

God Bless you!

p.s. We are a CCL teaching couple and at times I wish I didn't know NFP b/c I see what happens when you do everything from the book and nothing happens and you know it when the temp goes up for those 12 to 14 days, you are thinking, this could be the month, it could be the month and bam , the temp drops and nothing more than a new cycle. But God is great!

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