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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 07 2010 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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Would you attend a wedding on Holy Saturday for a family member?!?! It's obviously not a Catholic wedding but we just rec'd word that our nephew will be married at 5 pm on April 23. Dinner at 6 and reception 7-11.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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JennGM
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| Posted: Dec 07 2010 at 3:22pm | IP Logged
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That is the holiest week of the year, and we would probably opt out. I don't know all the ins and outs of the family dynamics, but that would be my husband and my knee jerk response.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 07 2010 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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Oh, wow. That is a tough call, isn't it? Because most of my family members are in various ministries (music, etc.) at our church, leaving town or attending special events during the Triduum would be hard for us if we were in your situation.
Since I don't know details (travel, etc.) or your own family commitments, all I can suggest is that you and your husband take all of these factors into account as you prayerfully discern what you should do.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Chris V
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Oh my, I have no advice. (... huge help, I know). But offering my prayers as you discern!
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Chris
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MicheleQ
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We would not (not telling you what to do just saying what we would do). Holy Saturday is supposed to be a solemn day of prayer leading up to Easter. I just wouldn't feel right going to a wedding. That being said, check with your pastor --personal preferences aren't the rule of the Church.
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Michele Quigley
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SusanMc
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| Posted: Dec 08 2010 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Is it possible that they scheduled it then because everyone would be on Spring Break/Easter holiday and could attend more easily?
Hard to say what I would do but here would be my considerations. I suppose it would depend on how large the affair was (would attend small wedding of 30ish guests but would opt out of a 150+ grand wedding) and if travel was involved (in town would probably attend, any further than 2 hours would not). With our small children we don't attend Easter Vigil anymore so we wouldn't have a scheduling conflict per se but if that was our current habit, I wouldn't change it for a wedding. I would also feel fine about attending the wedding but not the dinner or reception as a compromise. I come from a mixed bag family when it comes to religion and practices, so this sort of thing comes up a lot.
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Maggie
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| Posted: Dec 10 2010 at 9:53am | IP Logged
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MicheleQ wrote:
| We would not (not telling you what to do just saying what we would do). Holy Saturday is supposed to be a solemn day of prayer leading up to Easter. I just wouldn't feel right going to a wedding. That being said, check with your pastor --personal preferences aren't the rule of the Church. |
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My sentiments exactly. No, we would not attend.
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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Elena
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Kathryn wrote:
| It's obviously not a Catholic wedding but we just rec'd word that our nephew will be married at 5 pm on April 23. Dinner at 6 and reception 7-11. |
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If it were a local wedding, and it was my nephew, I'd probably go. Because it is in the late afternoon, I'd consider it like the eve anyway. At least everyone would be fed before going to the great Easter vigil!
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Elena
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folklaur
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| Posted: Dec 10 2010 at 3:39pm | IP Logged
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How close are you to your nephew? Are you a favorite Aunt (or your DH a favorite Uncle)?
If I were close to my nephew, and it didn't involve excessive travel, etc, I would absolutely go.
(The following is just MY personal opinion, feel free to skip it :) - Although Holy Saturday is a supposed to be a solemn day, I believe that Jesus calls us to love above all other things. If my absence would be a glaring omission, I could not hurt other people like that, and especially not by doing so "for Jesus". I don't think He would much appreciate me using Him as an excuse like that, and especially since it is not a Catholic wedding (so the couple doesn't recognize that there could be conflicts like this,) but still hopefully a once in a lifetime event for the couple, I would want to be there with them on their special day. I really don't think God would really have a problem with that.)
If it was a family member that we were not really close to, the situation would be different.
So - the variables make a difference, IMO.
Prayers for you as you discern what is right for you and your family.
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allegiance_mom
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| Posted: Dec 11 2010 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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If it were in a reasonable driving distance, I would attend the service and the dinner, but not the reception. I would use this opportunity to mention that, because we are Catholic and it is Holy Saturday, it isn't possible to remain after dinner for the reception. In a nice way, of course, not condescending, but more as an "FYI, this is why we can't stay."
BTW, I have never heard of having a separate dinner and reception? Around here, the reception usually includes a cocktail hour followed by the introduction of the wedding party, then a dinner and then dancing. Interesting how different regions do things!
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Allegiance Mom in NY
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 11 2010 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the replies. It is about a 2 hour round-trip drive (which would make for 4 hours to get back home same day w/ 4 kids incl a 3 1/2 yr old and 6 mo old at that point). It's not a "close-close" relationship so I think we'll be able to send our regrets and not attend and prob. not have any hard feelings.
I think my in-laws (his grandparents) are even uncertain about attending as well. His mother asked him "did you realize this is Easter week-end?" and he said yes. I didn't get more details than that as to why they chose that day.
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Kathryn in TX
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Angie Mc
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I would try to say as much of a "yes" as I could without neglecting fulfilling Holy Saturday obligations and traditions.
I also wouldn't feel stressed about it because there are natural consequences to any date that a couple chooses to marry...some dates are more accomodating to guests than others.
Love,
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Angie Mc
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Holy Saturday Wedding?
