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Subject Topic: Older bed wetters-advice please! Post ReplyPost New Topic
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mavmama
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Posted: Dec 01 2010 at 8:24am | IP Logged Quote mavmama

We have 2 bed wetters, both boys, ages 9 and 10. They are still in pull-ups every night. Many nights, they still wet through. I am at my wit's end with the laundry, the smell, all of it. The 9yo has admitted that he just dosesn't want to get up sometimes. The 10yo sleeps VERY soundly and just doesn't realize he has to go. He doesn't even wake up when he is wet.

They strip the beds themselves, but are unable to actually do the laundry and re-make the beds. Really, we have tried so many things and I don't know what to do now. We do have an appointment with the pediatrician in January to discuss this. The information about the meds. used is rather frightening with the associated risks.

What have some of you done?

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Posted: Dec 01 2010 at 10:31am | IP Logged Quote MaryM

Oh LIz, I can relate. It's been a long time now, since my child is now in college and yes, dry at night . I feel like my brain is getting foggy as I can't remember exactly when it ended but he was at least 9. I thought I had told our story here somewhere in one of the old threads, but can't find it. I did find lots of threads though which might be helpful as at any given time different members are present and answering questions like this. There is a wealth of ideas in the threads, especially nutritional options - as well as lots of empathy.

Serious bed wetting issues
bedwetting
Bed wetting
Trouble with dry clothes and bedding

In regards to our situation, what ultimately worked for him was the buzzer/alarm. I was a bedwetter, too - at least to 6. My parents used the buzzer/alarm technique. I can remember it and recall that it took about a month or so (I had a star chart ). Anyway when my son had problems I didn't plan to go that route. I had read parenting advice against it. Well one time when visiting a friend whose older son had just used this technique with success, she offered to lend us the buzzer. At that point I was pretty frustrated, like you, and willing to give it a try. It was funny because we tried it for a night or two and he hated it, didn't want to continue, so we stopped. Then several months later, he asked to try it again. A couple nights and he was done = not wetting and waking himself up to use the bathroom.   

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Posted: Dec 01 2010 at 11:21am | IP Logged Quote mavmama

Thank you, Mary! I will re-read those threads and pray more. I know it's hard for them, too. It's the not caring (being wet doesn't bother them AT ALL) that makes me crazy. I do think some of that is related to their early lives in the orphanage where they didn't get changed as often as they do when mama is with them.

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Veronika
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Posted: Dec 04 2010 at 7:06pm | IP Logged Quote Veronika

Hi Liz!
I know I posted this before, trying to help Paula in April, but I can't tell you how happy I am with the results! Try exercises every day to strenthen the muscles that "hold it in" during the night by having them stop and start several times when they void during the day. Also, play a game to see how long they can hold it in without "going" during the day to expand their bladder volume capability. When my son did this for several months, the problem quickly and completely disappeared! I hope this helps! I'll be praying for your success!

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Posted: Dec 04 2010 at 8:06pm | IP Logged Quote mavmama

Good advice, Veronika. Thank you for that and the prayers!

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Posted: Dec 06 2010 at 1:11pm | IP Logged Quote LucyP

Liz, I know lots of my adoptive mama friends have a similar experience - that children associate positive connections or a feeling of safety and familiarity with the feel or smell of wetness. My own children are similar and have no problems with being in wet nappies or pull ups. I don't know if you have any contact with post-adoption support who might be able to give you information and advice specifically tailored to adopted children who do have different issues and frequently experience self-esteem problems and extreme anxiety? I know with a different issue, I could not access appropriate help from my GP but needed to bring in post-adoption support who were coming at it from the more appropriate angle from the off. Lucy x
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Posted: Dec 07 2010 at 4:47am | IP Logged Quote leanne maree

We have had 3 bedwetters in our house.
it was a real hand full.
I didn't have the luxury of pull ups. we used cloth. that was really hard, but I put what we call in nursing terms a mack on the bed. It was a plastic sheet over the bottom sheet in the middle of the bed, tucked in with ann absorbent sheet over top, like flannelette. It soaked up as much as possible, then I only needed to change that sheet mostly.
I would only give our children water after 6pm as other fluid causes the kidneys to work over time.
It is a lot of hard work, and I just didn't complain at them, as I was a bedwetter.
It does run in families.
I just tried to support and say its OK, One day it will be ok.

Thats all I can think of at the moment. Oh apart from getting them up to use the toilet before we went to bed. Not sure how much this actually worked though
I am sure you know most of this anyway.

Leanne

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Posted: Jan 15 2011 at 5:19pm | IP Logged Quote Pilgrim

I used Hyland's bedwetting tablets with dd with great results she stopped wetting in days and when we ran out of the first bottle purchased we discovered she didn't even need the second bottle I ordered later, which I put away in case we need them someday.

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Posted: Jan 15 2011 at 6:57pm | IP Logged Quote CatholicMommy

Interestingly enough, when my son started bedwetting after being dry for a long time, I would take him in to the bathroom before I went to bed and have him go.

It backfired! He got so used to going when he was sleepy, that the problem got WORSE!      So away that went!

I was bedwetter as a child and the only thing that really got me over it, was NO liquids (even water) starting 2 hours before bedtime, use the bathroom completely before bedtime, and actually going longer in between during the daytime (to train the bladder as someone above mentioned). There is SO much information about encouraging children to go often, but then it can backfire when they are "trained" to go so often and you're on a long car-ride, or when sleeping at night, etc. So balance is the key

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Posted: Jan 15 2011 at 8:49pm | IP Logged Quote MNMommy

My oldest bedwetter is only 6.5yo, but here is what we have done. He quit wearing pull-ups at 4yo, and we bought him a waterproof pad for his bed. His bedding consists of a waterproof mattress pad, the waterproof pad, and a soft blanket. His pillow has a waterproof case and a pillowcase. When he wakes up, he brings his pad, blanket, and pillowcase down to the laundry room. It all fits in one load, so I wash it right away and have him put it all back on his bed.

We've tried all the standard things to reduce bedwetting - restricting fluids, taking him in the middle of the night, etc. None of it made a difference and it was stressful for all of us. So, for now, we are waiting for his body to mature. My ds hates wetting the bed, so I know it is his body and not his desire.

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Posted: Jan 15 2011 at 8:55pm | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

My ds was around 10 or 11 when he finally was able to be dry at night.
You are probably close.
Hang in there...


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Paula in MN
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Posted: Jan 17 2011 at 7:56am | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Veronika wrote:
Hi Liz! I know I posted this before, trying to help Paula in April...


Yes, and thank you!

Things are better. We tried EVERYTHING. What is working: limiting fluids after 6pm, using the bathroom at 8pm before bed, and getting up around 10:30pm to use the bathroom again. We have an alarm in his room that is set for 10:30pm, but he sleeps right through it. My husband is more of a night owl than I am, so generally he gets him up and in the bathroom.

We had to try many different solutions before we found one that worked for our son.

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Posted: Jan 17 2011 at 9:36am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Pilgrim wrote:
I used Hyland's bedwetting tablets with dd with great results she stopped wetting in days and when we ran out of the first bottle purchased we discovered she didn't even need the second bottle I ordered later, which I put away in case we need them someday.


I had no idea they had such a product! I love their teething tablets. No idea why they work, but they do. This sounds like its worth a try with our 4 year old!

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Posted: Feb 23 2011 at 8:43pm | IP Logged Quote krygerzoo

My 11.5yo son still uses pullups as does my 9.5yo daughter. I got both of them alarms this winter... not much luck yet. My son had one a couple of years ago and he just slept right through it. He can wake up now, at least!! SLOW progress....

We haven't had any results with homeopathy I also took him to a chiro and the doc just loaded us up with supplements without adjusting him... that didn't help, either. A friend of mine had great success with chiro for her son. My insurance doesn't cover it and I know it'll be very time consuming.

We have history of bedwetting, too, so I'm not too stressed. Just a hint! Especially when they don't really seem too bothered. sigh.

Praying to be past this sooooon!

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Posted: Feb 24 2011 at 7:09am | IP Logged Quote Becky Parker

This sounds very simplistic but taking dairy out of my son's diet is what helped him. It took about two weeks of a dairy free diet until he started waking up dry.
We stayed dairy free for about 6 months and there was only the occasional accident. Now he can eat dairy products, although we don't include a lot of it in our diet, without any problem.

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