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Vanna
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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he hates church.
This really upsets me. I want him to love going to mass. My husband says that maybe I make him go to often, that once or twice a week would be enough for a 5 year old. We currently go 3 or 4 times a week. I love weekday mass though. I guess I could get up at go to the 6:30 am mass twice a week alone.
I just don't know. He is good at church but he does look like he is hating every second of it. What would you do?
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Wife to K  Mommy to B (ds18) and G (ds8)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 12:37pm | IP Logged
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I'd go less often for a little while, probably. It's hard for an active little guy to look forward to a time when he has to behave and be quiet, especially when he is young enough not to understand all the big words.
I'm sure you're explaining the Mass to him (maybe via picture books), but it does take time for younger children to grow into a love for the Mass.
Don't worry, though - later he will remember YOUR devotion to and love for the Mass and that will inspire him...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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and have a treat after Mass.. that can be enough for the kids to want to go even if they don't enjoy the Mass itself yet.
When my older ones were little the threat "if you play during Mass, we won't stay after to play (and have donuts)" was enough to keep them in line.. and I only had to follow through one time 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Grace&Chaos
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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My little ones enjoy going to the 9:00 am mass because there is Children's Liturgy (the kids process out before the homily and have their own liturgy and then return to their seats) or this is the mass where once a month the children's choir performs (my dds are part off) and of course this is when donuts are served after mass . I guess this is when they feel the most like participants of mass rather than just sitting and waiting. Our very young ones still cannot sit through mass, but I know they will some day (for now I try to not worry about it).
I would not push him and help him find that which gives him the most gratification/participation during mass. My four year old looks forward to giving the sign of peace and shaking peoples hands. Another enjoys walking to communion with his arms crossed (such reverence) and another looks forward to making the sign of the cross with holy water at the entrance and exit of church. There is a moment in mass that I think they can all feel and understand why they are there. Believe me it isn't always smooth but we have come a long way from having to leave because of behavior issues. I think it's great that he already behaves during church, next is understanding why.
I second the introduction of picture books and/or saint stories to help him understand why we LOVE our faith and why going to church can be special.
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Jenny
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 8:03pm | IP Logged
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My ds was the biggest fidgeter at mass... until we started sitting right in the front row. Now he can see everything and is much happier.
I think part of his disliking mass was sitting at the back (which I thought was a strategic place in case we had to leave with fussy kids), but he couldn't see anything. He was just standing there with tall people all around him blocking his view. It's now wonder he didn't like it.
Maybe a seating change would help?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Maggie
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| Posted: Oct 20 2010 at 8:09pm | IP Logged
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I wouldn't take his words personally at all. My dd has said that several times, too. She is also 5.
I just matter-of-factly say, "I'm not worried, honey. Someday, you will love it."
And since I am sooooo reactionary most of the time, this blows her over...because I remain very. very. calm.
That was a piece of wisdom I got from an older mom--I remembered to stay calm when I heard her say that the first time...and I virtually ignore her.
But I do have to say, we also have incentives for Mass, too. All for incentives here. I am not shy about giving one sibling a treat if another misbehaved, etc...we take our treats seriously around here. 
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: My 5 year old says...
