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mamalove
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 7:26pm | IP Logged
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we are right now in the process drawing up plans to add on to our home. We currently have going on 5 children in a 2 bedroom home. It is almost always cluttered and messy here. My question is....will a bigger home help to disperse the stuff, thereby making it less cluttered? Or will I still have a mess everywhere?? 
I am not a hoarder, I can easily give away schoolbooks we are not using clothes and toys go to goodwill all the time...paper clutter gets burned pretty quick...but it still always seems like its a mess here! Id hate to see it if I was a pack rat!
im just so weary of stuff and keeping it in order, that I wonder if im just kidding myself that adding some bedrooms and a schoolroom will really help.
Am I giving up on the virtue of Holy Poverty by going for more than 1,100 square feet in our living space? Or am I just being pratical...i just dont know. And Im sure 24 week pregnant hormones are not helping my frame of mind 
today I was thinking I should just sell everything and go live in a yurt with just my cooking pot!
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Aagot
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normally I 'd say people fill the space they have but you do have a bigger than small family in a small house. As you said you aren't a hoarder, so if you have gotten rid of any excess and you still feel cramped, I'd go for the addition. A little more space does help organize your things and makes a place for everything.
Just my 2cents, good luck!
Aagot
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Erin
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 8:17pm | IP Logged
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Mamalove
I have experience with both lifestyles; a couple of times. Very small home with five children crammed into one bedroomroom, small living space, then we added on a 'extension' (house size.) Then we sold that house and moved eight children into three small bedrooms and very small living space (90m2), now we are currently building 'extensions' again (once again another house).
Unlike you If do have hoarder tendencies and have to fight this, I did however improve after the move to the 90m2 home with 8 children, I tossed heaps. And now I regularly toss. I'm unsure of the ages of your children, but I'm suspecting still all young?
The fact is in a small house even with little 'stuff' it doesn't take much to make that smaller home look really messy. Clean ups have to be done far more frequently, at least a couple of times a day, whereas in a bigger home one big clean up can suffice. I highly recommend lots of cupboard doors, far less visual mess.
The fact that you are not a hoarder will make your job far easier, and clean ups much quicker. So yes in your situation a bigger home will make your home look less cluttered, but you have more to clean. There a benefits both ways.
For me with three teens, I am now so grateful to have all this extra space, I really don't care that some ceilings are non-existent and some walls are sarking only. We have more rooms to clean, but less clutter and more space 
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JodieLyn
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it will help if you do it right and give yourself LOTS of storage. That's the hardest thing here (3 bed room but SMALL house) it's too much effort to get things put away properly when you have to move 3 or 4 other things to get to where something goes.. so it just gets left (or set somewhere else.. usually my desk). It's frustrating but it makes the cleaning properly take SO MUCH LONGER.. that I think even having more space to clean up if you have ease of putting away.. you may not lose more time to the cleaning of the larger space.
BUT I do think it's very possible to have too much space.
I would highlight storage spaces and focus on being sure there was space for putting things away, in or very near to the room they're used in.. and YES cupboards!! to hide the shelves or totes or whatever it is you're putting in there. The fewer steps you need to put things away the faster it'll go.
I would like a family room with cupboard space (with locks) for putting away toys so that there are NO toys (except lovies) in the bedrooms. Room in the bedrooms for each child to have a reasonably sized treasure box.. big enough to put away their special things so that littles don't get into them, their clothes and a bed. And a school room.. basically I would love a 4 bedroom house with a living room and family room, 2-3 bathrooms and decent sized kitchen and dining area. about double the space we have now so around 2000sqft-2500sqft. For the size of our family that would be totally reasonable for space without getting huge on us.
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joann10
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mamalove
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
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I have a 13 yo, 10 yo, 5 yo, 2 yo and baby due in Feb. I also dream about a toy closet that locks!!!
The children are very close now, and when we add on, I dont see how that will change much. There will only be a boy room and a girl room, plus mom and dads room in the addition, plus a mudroom and a living room expansion. Our old 2 bedrooms will become homeschool room and play room/guest room.
I am assuring myself that I will not get a bunch of junk so that the whole new space is wall to wall stuff...I just want to be able to walk around without stubbing my toe! I want to spread out the stuff we have, that is my plan. I am hoping and praying that I can stick to that resolve. I am not aiming for Martha Stewart, just some empty space between stuff and more closets would be nice 
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Chris V
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 11:41pm | IP Logged
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mamalove wrote:
Am I giving up on the virtue of Holy Poverty by going for more than 1,100 square feet in our living space? Or am I just being pratical...i just dont know.
today I was thinking I should just sell everything and go live in a yurt with just my cooking pot! |
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...I couldn't possibly add to the value of what the others wonderful ladies have said, however when I read this statement of yours, I had to let you know that I really struggle with this as well. We are in the midst of building a house, though one could argue that there was nothing wrong with the one we have now... the house we are building is bigger ... and the land we purchased to build on is much more land than we have now. (sigh) Need versus want. Service and humility. Spending our money conservatively and to the best of our abilities and good judgement ... I know that only my husband and I can discern for ourselves, and of course, prayer, prayer, prayer - I've not heard God's thunderous words on this, but then again, He's never spoken to us in a loud, thunderous voice ; God prefers subtle nods and gestures (usually when we're not looking). Keeps us on our toes.
I trust that He knows what is best for our family! And we have faith in our journey.
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Lisbet
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I long for more space also. There are 13 of us in in 1500 square feet. And I am certainly not a hoarder - but 13 people, that requires a lot of books, school supplies, clothing, food, etc... I am a visual person, and the 'closing in' feeling that I have here is hard to fight. I am perfectly at peace for wanting more space for my family.
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Paula in MN
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Everyone has such good ideas! I know that everytime I have moved, it's always been to something larger. I am somewhat fanatical about getting rid of clutter, but I have come to realize that the more space I have, the more clutter to fill it. My only suggestion for adding on would be built-ins, especially in a bedroom. If one wall is the closet with shelves and rods and drawers, enough for clothes and toys, the only piece of furniture you need in there will be a bed.
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CrunchyMom
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Well, as someone currently in a 1050 square foot row looking to move to a 1600 square foot rancher with full basement (if all works out), I am struggling with the same thoughts.
One thought: square footage is a gauge but not the only indicator of how livable the space is with a large family. Layout of the same footage can vary so much in how it will work with so many people, and built in storage varies greatly as well.
I DO feel the extra space and storage would help in keeping things orderly and less cluttered. I don't have plans to buy many extra things. I mean, we would need beds since the boys currently sleep on a built-in daybed. Things like that. But my hope is just to have space for the things I already own to breath.
Imo, as long as you don't get more stuff to "fill" the new space, having it would help in the ways you hope.
I also feel that in offering it up to God regarding whether it works out, I am doing my best to be practical rather than becoming too attached to the idea of more space for purely selfish reasons. I mean, I don't deny that I LIKE the idea of having more space A LOT, and it will be hard to stay where I am, but if it doesn't work out, I have faith that God will help me find again the peace I have with my smaller space.
I do have fears like yours. I fear wanting too much when I am already so blessed. I fear becoming discontent with what I have should I not get what I want. Things like that. But, if you have approached this with prayer and you and your husband have determined you can afford the addition, etc..., then I would not worry so much about the extravagance aspect.
And yes, those pregnancy hormones make it all even trickier!!!
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MelissaClaire
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My husband and I were just having this discussion last night. We're expecting #6 and we live in a tiny 3 bedroom townhome. The kid's rooms are super tiny--they fit the bunk bed and crib--but that's it--no dressers, no toys, etc. Our main level is one open space from kitchen to living room.
I asked him if he thought more space would help. His response was, "I think it would if only for the fact that I wouldn't have to share a drawer with our 5 year old." All of the kids clothes are in our room for space sake and they aren't always good about putting their clothes right back in their drawer so often he needs to pick up their pjs just to get his socks out. I need to find a fix to that so he doesn't have to start his day frustrated before going to work.
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mamalove
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My home sounds like Melissa Claires. We have to put the babies clothes on the changing table because we have no dresser space. 4 children share 1 dresser and closet in the childrens room, its pretty tight. We call the childrens room the "ships bunk" because that is what it looks like with 2 sets of bunks in a 10x10 room. 
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Angie Mc
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mamalove, you might want to read the book "Organizing from the Inside Out." She does state that there *is* such a thing as too little space. It might help you to feel that you are making an objective decision.
Oooo, another thing you could look up is the size of the average home over the years. I believe there is a stat that in the 60s/70s (once modern appliances were in place) the average home was 1400 square feet. Plus, the average family size was larger than today.
I've always lived in small spaces and prefer them. I fondly recall living in a single-wide with 3 littles - forcing me to levels of organization that I never dreamed could exist .
God bless you in your decision-making!
Love,
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mamalove
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Thanks Angie, ill look it up on innerlibrary loan!
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JodieLyn
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Hey Angie, thanks for your post. I did a search on square footage per person.. very eye opening.. and definately justifies the pinch we feel with this house of course I could only find averages.. but it looks like through history that 125-200 sqft/person was average.. and then today it's 300+... but we have less than 100 sfpp.. and it really is the storage spaces more than the living spaces that create the difficulty.. except in the boys room.. smallest bedroom and you can't put two sets of bunk beds in there without covering the door or window/closet, let alone having any other furniture like.. dressers in there. 
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CrunchyMom
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Hey Angie, thanks for your post. I did a search on square footage per person.. very eye opening.. and definately justifies the pinch we feel with this house of course I could only find averages.. but it looks like through history that 125-200 sqft/person was average.. and then today it's 300+... but we have less than 100 sfpp.. and it really is the storage spaces more than the living spaces that create the difficulty.. except in the boys room.. smallest bedroom and you can't put two sets of bunk beds in there without covering the door or window/closet, let alone having any other furniture like.. dressers in there. |
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That is interesting. Apparently, in 2006, the average home had grown to 900 sfpp
So, while I had this vague idea of homes getting bigger and families getting smaller, it is still a good perspective to remember that even in the 1950s, the average household size was only 3.37. I mean, 11 people in a household has always been a lot. I think that even in an age before artificial contraception, infant death and such kept the average family size on the smaller side.
I'm sure we can find examples from other cultures where large families survive in a yurt with a cooking pot no problem. And certainly, I pray for the grace to find peace with whatever home size I'm blessed with. But, it is sort of a relief to know that I don't feel cramped and crowded just because I'm secretly coveting my neighbor's Mcmansion
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amyable
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mamalove wrote:
| My home sounds like Melissa Claires. We have to put the babies clothes on the changing table because we have no dresser space. 4 children share 1 dresser and closet in the childrens room, its pretty tight. We call the childrens room the "ships bunk" because that is what it looks like with 2 sets of bunks in a 10x10 room. |
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This is us too! We do fit a dresser but you can't open the drawers all the way.
We did institute a family closet down where the washer/dryer are, which helps for now.
Loving this thread. 
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Mimip
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mamalove,
I just had to respond because we just went through this ourselves. We went from a 1300 sq ft house to a 2100+ sq foot house! (We are living in what was my childhood home while my mom pursues the possibility of religious life... that's a whole other thread )
We most definitely have more space and I have to agree with Jodie about the storage space idea. In our old house we had one closet in the whole house, laundry room outside and no basement (we live in S. FL) We have so much storage here it is amazing!!!!! I think that if you are living simply and parring down then more space might just be a God send.
BUT be for warned all that extra space need to be cleaned!!!! I am blown away by the amount of time it is taking me to clean this house. I used to be able to clean my whole house on Friday afternoon, now I'm trying to figure out how to clean this house and the toys get spread out even more!!!!
Gook Luck
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vmalott
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I don't think you're giving up on the virtue of Holy Poverty, esp. if it is reasonably within your means to expand a little. One reason we felt justified in moving into a larger home, aside from being a large family, was that all of us are IN THE HOME nearly every day! My husband works from home out of his basement office and we homeschool. We didn't have nearly as many children in our old home, nor did we ever conceive of actually working and learning from home.
Like you, in the smaller home, the clutter seemed to be more noticeable or stacked up more quickly, or whatever, because there was less space. So, now, even though we have the same amount of stuff, it's less clutter-ish because there are more places to store things. That's a big deal!
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mamalove
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| Posted: Oct 15 2010 at 2:49pm | IP Logged
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vmalott wrote:
| One reason we felt justified in moving into a larger home, aside from being a large family, was that all of us are IN THE HOME nearly every day! |
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this is exactly what I assure myself with. We homeschool, and are all here all day, so the space makes sense for us, espically in the winter.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: will a bigger house help?
