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abcmommy
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| Posted: March 19 2006 at 9:59am | IP Logged
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I am wondering how others feel in mass with a 16 month oldtoddler to mind/ wrangle/ distract.
I always feel like I have survived a battle after mass is over. Tonight we are going to try a different less crowded mass. I am going to feel like a real spactacle with my noisy kids in a quiet church. 
Sometimes I do not feel like a very active participant bc I cant always kneel or concentrate bc my dd is rather...uh...demanding? busy?
We do bring things to engage her interest but like all of my kids she is normally more interested in whatever is new (ie the people in the next pew, the missals, the envelopes for offerings, etc)
Once she was especially rowdy so we went to the lobby (you can hear everything bc they pipe it in).
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mary
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| Posted: March 19 2006 at 11:17am | IP Logged
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I have a few things that work but the bottom line is that this is a very hard age to keep occupied during mass.
sit in the front - first pew if you can get it.
bring a mass bag with coloring books and lift the flap book, string rosary and board mass books for following along.
let her put the offering in the basket
whisper in her ear stuff to watch for: we stand when father stands, can you find jesus? statue of mary? remind her that it's time to hold hands or shake hands.
i used to allow snacks until i read a thread in here and realized how hard this is on other well-behaved kids who are not allowed to eat in church! now, i feed them a snack before we go.
i realize we are distracting but i feel that it's important for us to be in church as a family (as opposed to pple who split up and one stays home with the kids). Two seems like a magical age of maturity. You are almost there!
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: March 19 2006 at 11:26am | IP Logged
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abcmommy wrote:
I always feel like I have survived a battle after mass is over.
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Yep, that sounds about right!
Hang in there! Your work with her now will pay off later.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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JennGM
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| Posted: March 19 2006 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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abcmommy wrote:
| I always feel like I have survived a battle after mass is over. |
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Sigh! This is how we feel every Sunday and our son is 2 1/2. He was well behaved at 16 months. Since he learned to talk it's been a long struggle. He'll tell us "Have to be quiet in Church" and he loves the Mass, talks about all the parts. We do preparation at home, tried different Masses, all the suggestions above, alas! it doesn't seem to work. It's just a wrestling, constant wiggling and talking battle. We're completely drained, and we have only one child!
I take away the "privilege" of running in the courtyard after mass if I have to take him out. Doesn't work. Did the cry room at a daily mass this week after I was at my wits' end. He didn't like it, but then, neither do I.
Of course, I've been either having morning sickness or on the mend from surgery the past month, so that makes it harder on me physically.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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humanaevitae
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| Posted: March 19 2006 at 6:11pm | IP Logged
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No magic tricks but this is what we do! And try to realize that you are participating- in the way your vocation will allow
We try to sit up in front but near a door. That way if I need to leave quickly I can! I also have stood in the doorway or back of church in the aisle while the congregation is sitting. Sometimes the toddler will be quiet and let me hold him if I am standing by myself. I really try to keep noise mimimal during the homily especially.
Many times however I end up leaving the pew with the toddler until the Our Father. We first try standing in the doorway but if the wiggles and noise continues we move to an area where they still have to sit on my lap or in my arms but they can vocalize all they want without bothering people.
At daily Mass or when I am alone with the children we either sit in the back or the front by the door. As my other children are a bit older I can leave them in the pew but step out with the toddlers.
PS. I do bring cheerios as most older children don't think of them as a treat.
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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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Sarah
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| Posted: March 20 2006 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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Yes its a battle, but it does get better between 2-3 yrs old. By 3-4 most of mine were fine. Once they know how to whisper-you're set!
Just take them out if their disruptive, whcih they will be since they can't help it. Its better to understand tht their noise and activity is age appropirate and there's nothing you can do about it.
Don't forget mental active participation. You can still be there mentally, even if you don't know what their saying, you can try to turn your mind to serving the Lord by caring fot the child.
I like to think of the "burden" of holding the child as my "Cross." (I mean burden in the best sense, since children are a blessing). Its hard, but hang in there. . .
My daughter is 2 1/2 and I ALWAYS end up taking her out since she is just too darn LOUD! She's sweet and has way to much to say and do!
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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abcmommy
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| Posted: March 20 2006 at 7:57am | IP Logged
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Last night I took her out again and I do feel a huge whoosh of relief once she is out of the pew.
I feel like everyone may resent my noisy brood sometimes. I dont often get that feeling but sometimes.
We went back in for the Our Father and she then nursed to sleep.
But I missed communion bc she was nursing and I couldnt walk up there with my shirt hiked up!! And if I'd taken her off the breast I KNOW she'd have woken and hollered.
She was so tired, it was wonderful she got some rest.
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humanaevitae
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| Posted: March 20 2006 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
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During the times I have missed communinion I went up to Father after Mass and he gave Jesus to me personally. He said he didn't mind a bit.
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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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abcmommy
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| Posted: March 21 2006 at 8:18am | IP Logged
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good idea.:) next time I wont be so shy about asking. I thought of sending dh up to ask a eucharistic minister to come back to me but not in time.
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: March 21 2006 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
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abcmommy wrote:
I am wondering how others feel in mass with a 16 month oldtoddler to mind/ wrangle/ distract.
I always feel like I have survived a battle after mass is over |
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Me too...I'm right there with ya! My littlest is 16 months and I've always found that time to be the hardest to deal with in mass. Everything's tough for me with children under 4 (sometimes 3 isn't too bad  ), but between ages 1 and 2 is my least favorite. Dh and I call it "boot camp" because it's the time when they're most likely to cause us to want to throw in the towel and let them play and at the same time, it's the time when we really feel the strongest example is necessary to set the tone for the future. It's so exhausting, I know. I have friends who've abondoned going to mass altogether because of their frustrations and they blame it on the fact that we have no crying room. I feel so sad for them and for their kids. Someone once said (and please forgive me if I'm repeating anyone on this thread--I just read your post and skipped down here  )that taking toddlers to mass was good exercise in practicing humility. I guess God thinks I need a lot of work!
Just wanted to tell you to hang in there! I caught some of the great suggestions as I scrolled down and they have really helped me too.)
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Kristine
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Mass with a toddler on board
