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kingvozzo
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
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My 4 y/o dd is taking tap and ballet lessons, with a recital scheduled for May. We just received the ballet costume (they're supposed to be cats), and I'm surprised to see how bare the top of the costume is. It only has 2 one inch ribbons crossing over the shoulders. Other than that, the shoulders and arms are completely bare. It seems too bare for my tastes, but I keep thinking of what JP2 said about wearing the proper type of garment for your activity, and wonder if I'm over reacting. I'm considering approaching the teacher about allowing dd to wear something like this
in nude color, under her costume.
Does anyone have any thougts on this? Have you encounter this problem in your children's dance classes?
I'm a bit nervous to see what the tap costume will be...
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Noreen
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Jenny
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| Posted: March 16 2006 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
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We took our children out of dance for this very reason. My dh's sister owns the studio & we thought we could expect more  Even though the little girls costumes were not terrible, just sitting through recital was almost an occassion of sin due to the costumes & the music & the dances... 
We are thinking about Irish Step Dance in the fall?
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Jenny
Chris' wife and momma of 7. My blog: The Littlest Way--Bible Journaling, Inspiring Bible Quotes, Daily Affirmations, Prayer Journaling & photography
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JSchaaf
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I'm no help here, either, we pulled our girls out of ballet/tap for the same reasons. I am having trouble finding a classical ballet class for Anne-Catherine-everything for a girl her age (6) seems to be ballet/tap/jazz/hiphop combo's.
Jennifer
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JSchaaf
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Noreen,
I looked at the link and it's worth asking the teacher if she can wear it under her costume. But it doesn't make the costume itself any more modest, KWIM?? It's a tough decision-I know Elizabeth has a ballerina-maybe she will have some thoughts on this.
Jennifer
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JennGM
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I don't have anything to contribute, but I just wanted to thank you for this thread!!! My mother didn't allow to do dance for modesty reasons, just as you listed above. To hear it being echoed by other parents helps so much! My sisters and I have regretted that we never had the chance to learn.
Elizabeth has praised her teacher's studio because they do try to keep the clothing and dancing modest, pleasing to God. Dancing is a form of praying/praising God.
There is such thing as appropriate dance costume, like JPII mentions, but I don't think that's a blanket approval for every costume.
Another thing to watch, is that many dance moves can be suggestive. If I have a girl, I hope to have the opportunity to give her dance lessons, but it has to be within the parameters of modesty.
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humanaevitae
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Since I allow my 6 yo dd to wear sundresses, sleeveless dresses and one piece swimsuits during the summer I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as it still looks "little girl" and my dd felt comfortable in it.
I would be interested in people's reasons on why they think sleeveless garb is immodest on a young girl. Please pm me as I'm not looking to start a discussion.
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guitarnan
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My daughter (8) takes a jazz dance class. She's done ballet and tap before. I've watched her routines and listened to the music carefully. The costume for her recital is sleeveless but not immodest, as far as I can see from the full-page photo. (It's cut very high under the arms.) We haven't had problems with costumes in past years, fortunately.
It's important that parents pay attention, though, because even the most well-meaning people can pick inappropriate music or costumes by accident. When we were stationed in Italy, the Filipino nuns who taught at the local Italian Catholic school taught the little kids a cute dance routine for the Parents' Day festivities...but they didn't realize that the (American) popular song they'd chosen for the music was very suggestive, because they didn't understand all the lyrics. Fortunately, one of the American parents clued them in. 
Jenn, it's not too late! There are lots of adult recreational dance classes out there.
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Sarah
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Since your daughter is only 4 it may not be a modesty issue yet, so long as it doesn't get her in the habit or make it harder for you in the future when it could be revealing to dress that way.
IMO, nude dancewear is no more modest, because from far away it still looks like skin. After watching the Olymipics this year and seeing the terrible skating costumes with nude panels. . .
Maybe you could talk to other mothers in the dance and see if they'd all like to wear a black or brown leotard underneath. Could they add fur? (cats?)
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JennGM
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guitarnan wrote:
| Jenn, it's not too late! There are lots of adult recreational dance classes out there. |
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Nancy, The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be. There might be lessons, but the body doesn't work like it used to!
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kingvozzo
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guitarnan wrote:
It's important that parents pay attention, though, because even the most well-meaning people can pick inappropriate music or costumes by accident. When we were stationed in Italy, the Filipino nuns who taught at the local Italian Catholic school taught the little kids a cute dance routine for the Parents' Day festivities...but they didn't realize that the (American) popular song they'd chosen for the music was very suggestive, because they didn't understand all the lyrics. Fortunately, one of the American parents clued them in.
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This is VERY true, but happens sometimes even when there's no language barrier. I remember during the last presidential election being a bit surprised to see John Kerry on TV, coming onstage to the OutKast song "Hey Ya," which has an infectiously catchy dance rythym, but off-color (to say the least) lyrics. 
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kingvozzo
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jenngm67 wrote:
Another thing to watch, is that many dance moves can be suggestive. |
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This is very insidious in dance circles, it seems. Fortunately, we don't have that problem, yet.
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kingvozzo
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Sarah wrote:
| Since your daughter is only 4 it may not be a modesty issue yet, so long as it doesn't get her in the habit or make it harder for you in the future when it could be revealing to dress that way. |
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I was thinking this as well...
Sarah wrote:
| IMO, nude dancewear is no more modest, because from far away it still looks like skin. After watching the Olymipics this year and seeing the terrible skating costumes with nude panels. . . |
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My thinking with the nude bodysuit was that the teacher would probably have fewer objections to it, in terms of how it might change the look of the dancers. Unfortunately, the "cats" are white cats, so I don't think black or brown would work, but come to think of it, white might work...
Sarah wrote:
| Maybe you could talk to other mothers in the dance and see if they'd all like to wear a black or brown leotard underneath. Could they add fur? (cats?) |
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I'm pretty sure the other mothers would think I was a complete headcase, so that's not tops on my list 
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5athome
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Good luck with your teacher - sometimes they seem understanding but sometimes you get one that is so clueless. When my daughter was 8 she was at a studio and they were doing a dance to Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir from Moulin Rouge -- as soon as I heard I pulled her out of the recital but was shocked none of the other parents had a problem with it. We have since switched to a Christian themed dance studio and the costumes and music are wonderful.
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guitarnan
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I talked with another homeschooling mom last night (Christian) about this issue. She says she just informs the instructors that she's adding to costumes if she doesn't feel they're modest enough (e.g. if the top is too low cut under the arms, she has her daughter wear a matching tank top underneath). She doesn't ask, she states what she plans to do and why.
I don't know if I could be that up front, but this thread has helped me see that I'm not the only mom out there with these concerns. Just knowing I'm not alone really helps, and I'm sure would bolster my courage if I needed to talk with a dance teacher.
Next fall, I need to remember to ask about these things at the beginning of the "dance year", because waiting until the costumes are chosen (or ordered!) is probably not a good plan.
Maybe Elizabeth's dance teacher should franchise her concept. I think it would be wonderful to have access to such a program.
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Sarah
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Noreen-
Hang in there. Its so hard to be different.
I'm trying to pump myself up for baseball season this summer when I sit with all my little children, by myself, and feel the "looks" and lack of anyone that will talk to me (its bizarre). It happens every year and its hard to feel so different, even if you feel its right.
This year we've even added another little one  !!
It may come to finding a better studio for you and your daughter.
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MichelleM
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5athome wrote:
| We have since switched to a Christian themed dance studio and the costumes and music are wonderful. |
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My dd's participated in a Christian Dance Studio as well. Most of the children were homeschooled and the children's costumes were little white t-shirts and white satin skirts that came to mid-calf. Perhaps with some research you could find a ministry like this, Celebration Ministry of Arts, where you live. If you can't, maybe you could get a small group of girls together and hire a teacher to give private lessons in a home. Just a thought. 
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Erica Sanchez
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jenngm67 wrote:
| Nancy, The old grey mare, she ain't what she used to be. There might be lessons, but the body doesn't work like it used to! |
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A tad off the subject, but a year or so ago I was working out at Curves (pretty low stress, easy workout) and seriously, for about one week, contemplating training for a triathalon!!! Who was I kidding!!! One can dream......
Now I'm trying to undo my never having a dance lesson in my life and total lack of dance rhythm and coordination through my children by having all four girls in ballet and the three older kids in a ballroom class. The classes are all taught by a Catholic homeschooling mom. I also highly recommend the Christian/Catholic class route if you can at all do that. It sure takes away many of the issues of attire and music.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: modesty/dance costumes
