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insegnante
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| Posted: Aug 20 2010 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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Just wondering if this is common at this stage? Yes, it's my fourth pregnancy, but still I'm asking other women... I had 1 pregnancy as a much younger new mother and then 2 thinking a lot specifically about whether I'd VBAC, and this just feels different from what I remember.
I am 36 weeks today. No sign of anything significantly "wrong" with me, let alone baby. There have been a couple of little blips lately away from the norm like my first high blood pressure readings at this last visit (but they went down, and I'm trying to avoid things that might drive them up again,) and the baby maybe not being stably in a head-down position yet. But those are not why I'm feeling fearful in this way. There have also been other stressors and not all the practical ones are solved, like exact child care plans for when the baby is being born (possibly meaning my husband won't be with me for a lot of labor or when the baby himself is born,) but I feel like I am putting them in perspective and doing what I can about them now.
So, now am I suddenly feeling these adrenaline surges about birth itself -- the fact that within 6 weeks, and probably more like 3-5, I'll just plain be having this baby one way or the other. I have had 2 c-sections followed by a VBAC. This is also hoped to be a VBAC. There's not much fear of the unknown here that any woman couldn't be vulnerable to about all the various things that can go wrong -- and they can go wrong, no matter how uncomplicated your pregnancy and birth history are. I guess now that I'm dealing with other practicalities as best I can, there's also the awareness that there will be pain and uncertainty involved no matter how smoothly it all ends up going. It's like, "I'm going to be in labor, have surgery, or both that soon! YIKES! [adrenaline surge] and then there's a new person to care for *right* after that!"
I had no pain medication during labor last time and plan for the same this time unless some circumstance arises where it seems it would truly help facilitate a healthy birth and avoid the need for a c/s. I'm more afraid of an avoidable c/s than the labor pain, but it sure did hurt last time, and I will never bank on labor not hurting a lot.
I don't mean to be dwelling on fear at all. It's just that when I'm actually feeling unpleasant adrenaline surges in response to basic thoughts like "This baby is really coming soon!" it's not simply about choosing to think anxious thoughts. It's just annoying -- I was able to take a much appreciated nap this afternoon, but one time I woke up it suddenly "hit" me again and there was no resettling for more nap.
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 20 2010 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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It's normal Theresa. I'm 35 weeks and I'm really trying not to think about labor.. you know.. let's just not go there.. when it hits is soon enough unless there's a specific issue I want to go over/plan for.
oh and just an aside.. baby may not truely engage until labor.. it's common with multi-para moms.
I actually had my 3rd turning somersaults until I went into labor.
But it does sound like maybe you're zooming into minor panic attacks rather than just normal anxiety.
yes labor is painful but there are things that can help you deal with the pain, mitigate some of the pain etc.
Like getting my dh to do counter pressure on my back if I'm feeling it there makes it if not "not painful" at least a whole lot more bearable.
So maybe considering why you're going into panic over it would help.. letting yourself realize that it's really ok if everything isn't perfect before baby is born for instance. That babies really need very little.. mama's arms, mama's milk and a few diapers and blankies 
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: Aug 20 2010 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
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I know how you feel, but I am in a much better place now.
I had a good friend talk to me about the miracle of giving birth and it being a sacred event...even joyful...
I sooo needed that.
I have a household full of people who need me and I needed the re-focus. I found that there were too many negative messages being thrown my way and it was wearing thin on my weary brain.
I am currently 40 weeks and know that at any time I could go into labor. I am now looking forward to it. I take short walk every night in the calm and peace of my neighborhood and talk with God. (the walk keeps my over active adrenal glands in check better) I even get some time to sneak into the church and talk with Jesus and boy, does that help! I find myself wanting to be more contemplative and cloistered to minister to my own heart and prepare it. Shutting off the noise and criticism was the very first part of healing me.
It is my 2nd VBAC (my 9th baby!) and I have a good midwife and advocate that is a strong no-nonsense lady that I know will take good care of me. I will not let my brain think of labor...I know God will give me courage and strength beyond my imagining WHEN i need it. I have been praying mightily to St. Anne (Our Lady's Mother and Jesus' Grandmother) I ask that I go into labor at a good time and to see to ALL of the details, including my other children. Looking back to my other labors, God has always provided that for us! St. Anne is a very powerful intercessor, I tell you!!
I only think about her first smile and her little fingers and toes and all of her pinkness. I have an outfit out that I can't even begin to imagine will be full of her soon.
I refuse to let my brain go anywhere scary...I need a bodyguard for my brain, I tell you! The more I keep thinking of all of the BLESSINGS the less that I consider anything else and I start to get annoyed...only because I think I am being tricked into thinking that this is anything less than beautiful. A brand new soul is such a beautiful thing and we cannot imagine its incredible beauty nor the great Love God has placed in the sacred place beneath our heart. I think the evil one would love it if I allow myself to get freaked out and I refuse to give him the satisfaction. (remember, this is only my weird random thoughts..but they have helped me gain perspective)
I am doing all I can to stay strong physically. I do have high cortisol levels and I have to work hard to keep them down. I am drinking a lot. I was so moody the other day when dh and I were out on the road so he got me a mondo sized cup of ice with a straw at a convenience store and filled it up with water and splashed some juice in it for color and to make it go down easier...boy, did my perspective change fast! I must have really needed it! I am staying away from anything that would make my blood sugar change too fast and eat as healthy as I can..or else I find myself listless and restless. I also take 400mg of Magnesium twice a day and it relaxes my nervous system and helps me sleep better.
I HTH somewhat! I will keep you in my constant prayers!
{{{{HUGS}}}}
PS I actually tried laughing in the middle of the night when the realization that my discomfort MIGHT be labor...laughter really did help! And oh, I finally have this baby head-down, but she probably won't be engaged until I am in active labor..that has been the norm for me. All of them found their way out just fine!
Did you see the latest report on VBACS? The (whatever GYN association) made a statement that it is fine for a woman to go through trial of labor after 2 C sections! ...FWIW... and as for pain of labor...think about each contraction being completely over and you won't relive THAT contraction again. My last baby was INTENSE but very effective. I had him out in 4 pushes from a side lying position..never did that before...completely unmedicated. You can take evening primrose oil to help prepare your cervix for labor (I started it at 36 weeks) and drink plenty of Red Raspberry tea (great uterine toner)
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Donna Marie from NJ
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*Lindsey*
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| Posted: Aug 20 2010 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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I always get the panicky "I can't do that again/don't want to/can I just skip the whole thing?!" feelings the last 4-6 weeks of pregnancy.
I think it's very normal.
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Lindsey
Mama to DS (11), DD(9), twin dds(7), DD (5), DS (4), DS (3), and 5 angels in heaven.
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Kathryn
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It must be normal. This is my 4th and I'm 34 weeks today and I honestly think this is the most fearful I've felt about any of them! I posted on another topic a few days ago about how I mentioned to my DH in a very melancholy way "well, I guess she has to come out somehow". His reply (with a slight giggle) "ya think?". Well...Donna had some great advice. I need to print that out and re-read it!
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Erin
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Theresa
This is very normal, at times I feel rather irrational about it all, but apparently it is normal. I like Jodie's advice to not even think about it 
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DominaCaeli
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This is one of the reasons I am glad I go overdue--nerves and anxiety start to creep in a few weeks before my due date, but once I hit the 40-week mark, I am itching to go!
Praying for you during these last few weeks, Theresa.
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Aug 21 2010 at 4:33pm | IP Logged
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Totally normal. I remember being pregnant w/ #5 and realizing at the end that I was "nervous as a tick."
Those were the words I wrote on the online forum I was on at the time. Didn't have Internet or computer w/ first 4 babies.
We'll be praying.
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juliana147
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Theresa, I have felt this way, too.
I'll keep you in my prayers!
-juliana
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florasita
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Yep totally normal , I always with each and every pregnancy had a dream , the same draem each and every time . In the dream myself , all my mum friends and my midwife ( also my gf ) were all gathered at my friends house in the living room . we are all pregnant except the midwife . we all go thru a practice labour . yep, we all deliver our babies and then put them back in and all sit around having tea saying how easy it was
that dream became so familar to me
the thing is after I had that dream , no scared feelings what so ever . I felt totally prepared etc.
I guess God just reminded me each pregnancy the outcome was going to be ok
I'll keep you in prayer as well
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Aug 24 2010 at 8:29am | IP Logged
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florasita wrote:
Yep totally normal , I always with each and every pregnancy had a dream , the same draem each and every time . In the dream myself , all my mum friends and my midwife ( also my gf ) were all gathered at my friends house in the living room . we are all pregnant except the midwife . we all go thru a practice labour . yep, we all deliver our babies and then put them back in and all sit around having tea saying how easy it was
that dream became so familar to me
the thing is after I had that dream , no scared feelings what so ever . I felt totally prepared etc.
I guess God just reminded me each pregnancy the outcome was going to be ok
I'll keep you in prayer as well |
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I am so glad you shared that!!!!
I totally felt that end of the pregnancy anxiety. BUT...once labor started, either on its own or otherwise.....no more anxiety.....just imagine you putting your “game face” on and “getting this done!!!” AND...especially imagine holding that sweet, precious gift from God. THAT is what always helped me!! Praying for you!!!
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insegnante
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Thanks for prayers! Feelings of fear have been about 90-95% replaced by feelings of impatience. That EDD in my .sig, it was the latest possible one, now I'm thinking I'll be 40 weeks (the latest I've ever been pg) the 15th, maybe even the 14th...
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Theresa
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Chari
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Chari
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oh, !
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Donna Marie
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Well, whenever your little bundle arrives, you will surely be blessed with much strength and peace! I am now juuust about 2 weeks post-partum. God did give me the strength I needed when I needed it. The blessing of holding a newborn is indescribable. I am praying for you and will continue to do so! Let us know when you are in labor and we will keep you covered in prayers!
{{{{HUGS}}}}
May God bless you and Mary keep you!
Good St. Anne, pray for them!
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Donna Marie from NJ
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Susana
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We just had baby #6 this past Friday, and I had been feeling like you are about the pain. This was my 5th home birth and still I was worried. I actually used a few herbal tinctures during labor and my usual lavender essential oil, and this was the best labor/birth ever for me! The herbal tinctures I used were:
-Bach's Rescue Remedy
-Bach's White Chestnut (Although I think Sweet Chestnut would be good too)
-Wish Garden Herbs Smooth Transitions
The lavender I just put a few drops into a tissue and sniffed away with the contractions.
I hope this helps. May God be with you!
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JodieLyn
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you know Susana, I never thought of using the Rescue Remedy when birthing.. maybe I will put it in my room next to the arnica
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Topic: feeling sudden general fear about birth
