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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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Hope that subject line didn't make it sound like i wanted to bad mouth my DH. He's the best! 
I'm really just trying to think of a way to do something extra special for him, maybe even a bit romantic.
There is one glitch in that my first ultrasound showed a partial placenta previa which means we can't get "too" romantic, if you get my drift  (at least not until the next ultrasound shows that it is no longer an issue  ). But I'm thinking of now.
Any ideas?
He's an accountant so spending money is never a good idea , so I'm trying to think of something ultra cheap that will be a way that I can show him how much I appreciate his patience during this pregnancy.
While I've been feeling okay, I think he worries about me, and I know he has taken quite a few rude comments from people at work and even his own family. That has to weigh on him, but he doesn't really complain.
So, after that long intro, any ideas to share?
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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JodieLyn
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what sort of things have you noticed your dh most appreciates?
love notes?
favorite meals?
clean house?
etc.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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Oh Becky, how sweet! I'll join you in some brainstorming a little later today.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 9:33am | IP Logged
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Jodie's questions would definitely help find a direction to go. Does he like movies (a redbox rental and his favorite snack)?
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 12:21pm | IP Logged
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Good questions Jodie. I think my husband really appreciates good meals. Of course, my first thought would be to go out, but that's really more for me. He prefers a home cooked meal. Going out for an evening, unless it's a jazz concert or something, really isn't what he enjoys. He's kind of a home-body, which makes planning something special a little difficult.
He likes a tidy house, but that has never really been a big deal to him. He doesn't like junk laying around all over the place but he never really notices when I spend the whole day cleaning.
I'm not even sure about love notes?
After I posted my question I went to run some errands and I did think that renting a movie might be a good idea. It would be more enjoyable if all the kids weren't jumping around while we're trying to watch, so I'm going to have to put some more thought into how to work that.
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Becky
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JennGM
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Put the kids early to dinner, early to bed, and have a night alone at home. Easier said than done, of course!
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Jennifer G. Miller
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DominaCaeli
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Becky, your husband sounds *exactly* like mine--accountant, doesn't like money spent on him, likes a tidy house but isn't all that particular, prefers staying at home, all of it!
For a "treat," we usually put the kids to bed early and watch a movie (rented from the library--so it's free! ) and I bake a batch of his favorite cookies, all for him. He's not really the traditionally-romantic type, so love notes aren't really his thing...
Anyway, I'm looking for more great ideas here to add to my list!
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Celeste
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Erin
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Becky
Does he take a cut lunch from home? Can you make him lunch and pop a love note in it some days. Not every day as you have to keep him guessing
Also send him an email through the day or a quick phone call to say "I love you" and hang up fast 
And what is his love language? My husband appreciates acts of service (my worst LL) so if I pay a bill, iron his shirt he feels so loved.
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JodieLyn
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Yeah, love notes don't have to be long and involved.. it can be a note in his lunch that literally just says "I love you".
I've tucked notes like that into my dh's things for work trips before (in the folds of a shirt, tucked into socks, whatever). Little one liners.. I love you, we miss you, stay safe, etc.
Sometimes it works here to put the kids to bed early.. but on nights that it won't work.. we've been known to only watch half a movie and then finish it the next night. Or get some tv shows on video so you can watch one or two shows and still only be up an hour or so past the kids.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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cathhomeschool
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Kids to bed early: If they nap could they skip nap and then go to bed earlier than usual? If they don't nap could you run them really hard that day (soccer game with friends, pool, jumping jacks....) and put them to bed early? Could you wake them up early so they're tired (but not early enough that they're cranky all day) and put them to bed early?
Could you light candles (maybe scented if he likes something in particular) in the evening before the movie or before he gets home? Or maybe candles and a cloth napkin just for him (..though I don't know that my dh would care about that...) with his favorite meal? What about putting a mug to chill in the freezer and filling it with his favorite beer? My dh would love that, though depending on the beer that's not a cheap treat!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 8:46pm | IP Logged
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I'm not a big fan of candles in the heat.. but as soon as it's cool enough.. I love having candles lit when my dh comes home.. I know he notices though I'm not sure how much difference it makes to him.. but it's that warm glow like coming home with a fire in the fireplace.. and during the early evening when things are just warmed up by the candles without being "candlelit".. it's a nice homecoming without necessarily tempting you to something you should avoid.
You might consider a picnic dinner in the living room to watch the movie.
Now this was for *me* because I've been rather overwhelmed by multiple things this summer.. but since we couldn't really afford to go out to dinner and I didn't necessarily want to be in public but somewhere I could talk without the kids.. my dh and I went and got milkshake and fries to share (from the local burger joint not Mcdonalds) kept the cost reasonable and we could sit in the van.. one time we went down to the little city park so we weren't sitting watching traffic.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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seeker
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 11:07pm | IP Logged
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If he's feeling stressed, what about a massage? My dh loves to have his feet, calves, back, shoulders, neck massaged. I'm pretty bad at giving them (I've always gotten cramps in my hands, so more than a few minutes and I'm worn out), but he continues to ask for them. Would your dh be receptive to something like that?
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 07 2010 at 7:30am | IP Logged
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Thanks for all these great ideas! I love the idea of candles and I thought about buying his favorite beer, which is a bit expensive but if we cut back by not going out to dinner or to the movie theatre it would be okay.
Love notes - I never really thought of writing him a love note but something short and sweet in his lunch bag would be a cute idea! When we were first married I used to carve "I (heart) U" in the top of the peanut butter when it was new. (He ate peanut butter toast everyday for breakfast.) It's been many years since I did that though.
As far as putting the kids to bed early, they were all up super early this morning because it got so cool last night. Everyone went to bed with their ceiling fans on so getting out of bed to turn them off early this morning woke them all up. Maybe this will be a good night to try getting them to bed early!
Massage - There is a funny story that goes with this! I actually thought of a massage, but I have no idea how to do it, so I googled it! ... BAD idea!   I wont begin to tell you what you would find, even with filters on your computer. I guess I didn't think about what might pop up. Oi Vey!
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JodieLyn
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Becky Parker wrote:
Massage - There is a funny story that goes with this! I actually thought of a massage, but I have no idea how to do it, so I googled it! ... BAD idea! I wont begin to tell you what you would find, even with filters on your computer. I guess I didn't think about what might pop up. Oi Vey!
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Oh MY!!  I can imagine.
You might try a more limited search.. something like "foot massage" or "back massage" that could give you less ummm widespread results
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Becky Parker
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I agree Jodie! I was just afraid to try anything else after that! Maybe I'll try "shoulder massage" or "foot massage". Those should be pretty safe! Or maybe I'll just wing it and not make it so complicated.
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Becky
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mamalove
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Im sorry to hear about the placenta previa and the inability right now for intimacy :o(
For Your Marriage has tons of free/cheap date ideas
http://foryourmarriage.org/cheap-dates/
there are more catagories there on the menu to the left for date ideas.
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LucyP
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Becky - wing it with the massage! Like other aspects of touching and being with our spouses, I think a loving wife can achieve all she needs with nothing except her own love and imagination. I know my husband likes to be massaged in certain ways so even though it is not the "proper way" according to most massage books, I do it anyway because it is about him. If he doesn't like scented oil, you can use plain olive oil, or we use cocount oil for massage and any other uses we can find for it in the bedroom. It is so nice for the skin, and I can always use it on the children too without worrying about the scent.
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mamalove
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| Posted: Aug 07 2010 at 9:48pm | IP Logged
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coca butter is nice too 
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Aug 09 2010 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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Okay, I have a plan! My husband thinks it's great that this pregnancy has me craving steak! (I could easily be a vegetarian any other time!) Because of that he thought it would be a good idea for he and I to go out to dinner and split a steak. (Cheaper to split a meal, of course, but also, we both find that eating full meals at restaurants leaves us feeling uncomfortably full.) So, I thought I would sort of take that and run with it.
Here's the plan ~
He and I will go out for this dinner (or 1/2 dinner ) and I will bribe my 16 yo with pizza if he will babysit. While we're out we will pick up a dvd for the kids, and one for us. I'm going to have all the kids "camp out" in the basement toy room, where we have a seldom used tv and dvd player and they can watch their dvd and have popcorn, while dad and I watch our movie and have a special snack of our own (haven't figured that out yet, but it will include his favorite beer - for him of course, not me.)
Letting the kids "camp out" in the basement with sleeping bags will make it extra fun for them and having all the kids down there so DH and I can enjoy a quiet, peaceful evening alone will make it extra fun for us!
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Becky
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cathhomeschool
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How exciting, Becky! Sounds like a great evening. My dh got to reap the benefits of my weird pregnancy cravings too.
I was cracking up about the massage search. (I mean it's not funny at all but the way you phrased it made me laugh.) I've done similar things and been sooo grateful afterwards that the kids weren't looking over my shoulder at the time! 
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Can we talk husbands?
