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adnilpress
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| Posted: June 19 2010 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
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HI all. I'm feeling a little 'battered' right now - it started on another message board, where a lady asked if Catholics were Christians, and it developed into a nasty thread, with quite an attack on the Catholic faith. I had my 'say', and was dragged right into the same old arguments. I 'think' I handled it fine, although I did get a little angry with one lady who told my that I was 'pigheaded and stubborn', and that I needed to study and seek the Lord before it was too late. 
Oh, I tried to say I didn't have all the answers, but as a convert, I actually 'have' studied. I tried to point these lades towards books - Rome Sweet Home, Born Fundamentalist, etc., but, neither of them have taken me up on my offer to borrow them. Although, interestingly, others have - people who weren't actually involved in the discussion, so that is interesting!
Anyway, add to that, we've just had an entire week where my 17 year old's boyfriend has stayed with us. He's so lovely, a non-Catholic, but still, the most respectful, lovely lad I'm met in a long, long time. But it was the first time we've ever had a 'boyfriend' in the house, so just because of that, I found it a little stressful, not knowing how much time to give them to be 'alone', and how much to watch over them. I felt really lost and like I suddenly had no idea how to be a mother - everthing keeps changing as they grow up! They were so well behaved, I have to say I was very proud of them both.
Add to that I have a fair bit of physical pain at the moment, and well, I just feel like I'm struggling. A couple of ladies wish to ask me a few more questions about the Catholic faith via private messaging, since the whole thread got out of hand, so I need to choose words carefully - I'm honoured to be asked - but it takes it out of you!
I'm afraid I had a few tears this morning, kind-of like 'I've been hit by a truck' feeling, where all you want to do is go back to bed and stay there. Just feeling a little lost, is all, and so glad that there's a board I can come to and unload a little without being slammed for my faith.
I'm done now,  thankyou for reading; God bless,
Linda.
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Linda
Homeschooling over 13 years.
Wife to Bill, Mother of 8, aged 8 to 18.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 19 2010 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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Hi Linda,
I can empathize - sometimes, even when I feel called to share my faith with others, it can be a draining experience. The nice thing about doing this online is that you do have control over the flow of information. You don't have to answer every email instantly - and I've found that, for me, taking time to step away and lay my concerns and thoughts about appropriate answering emails at the feet of Our Lord really helps.
I think it's great that some of the ladies on your forum have asked about the books you mentioned - excellent books! - and I hope they choose to read them and do so with open minds.
I spend a LOT of time online (I have some Web writing contracts) and the tendency on mesage boards and comment boxes is definitely to shoot from the hip, counting on the protection of the Online Cloak of Anonymity. This makes things very uncomfortable for many of us...flamers can get very mean, regardless of topic. That's another good reason to limit your exposure to people who say hurtful things online. (Consider it the cyber-equivalent of getting up and leaving the room, always the most dignified way of making a protest!)
I can see that you have a lot on your plate right now. I'm praying for you...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 19 2010 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I have been in a very similar place and it HURTS.
 big cyber hugs to you!
May God bless you richly for defending His church to the best of your abilities.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 19 2010 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
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Aw, hugs from here, too. Praying for you...
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Nique
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| Posted: June 19 2010 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
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You are doing wonderfully Linda! So much GOOD! No wonder you are tired! You've been a soldier for Christ on those boards!
When you wrote, "I'm honoured to be asked - but it takes it out of you!" - ABSOLUTELY! The devil is working behind the scenes, I'm sure of it!
But always remember, with God on your side, you are always winning!
I am going to pray to the Holy Spirit, for His intercession, to help you find the right words (and you've done beautifully so far!) as well as offer up my Mass for you tomorrow!
Hang in there - you are making Jesus SO PROUD!
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I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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Erin
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 2:47am | IP Logged
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Linda
Praying for you.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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leanne maree
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 4:54am | IP Logged
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Hi Linda,
I just wanted to say, I was so proud of you, the way you handled yourself , with that thread, and Isn't it nice to come to a lovely place like this for nuturing.
Hugs and blessings, and prayers your way
Leanne
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God is Love
Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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Belle
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 5:40am | IP Logged
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Linda, I just wanted to say you held your own beautifully. When the tone went from bad to worse you managed to remain far more gracious than those to whom you were responding deserved.
Thank you for the words you spoke. Some of us really appreciated them.
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leanne maree
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 6:03am | IP Logged
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Good to see you here Belle,
leannr
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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Paula in MN
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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LisaD
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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Linda,
It is in no small part due to people like you who take the time to answer questions and defend the Faith online, that I was converted 12 years ago.
God bless you. I will say a prayer for strength and grace for you!
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~Lisa
Mama to dd(99), ds(01), ds(03) and ds(06)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 12:38pm | IP Logged
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Linda - that can be a very hard thing to do.
I've noticed online that you often get a phenomena where many people will post challenges that only take a sentence to write but take many paragraphs to answer.. and they'll pile up one on top of the other..
what about THIS
yeah and then there's that too
what they said.. how can you explain this other thing..
and that's all posted before you can even formulate an answer to the first one.
It's a sorta ganging up or bullying that often will happen.
I found myself in an online community that is not Catholic.. but lovely ladies.. and I found I had to make my own boundaries for these type of discussions. I would speak up and say.. hey.. slow down/back off or I simply won't participate.. if you have questions I'm happy to answer but I'm not going to get caught in these out of control conversations. And there have been conversations that I simply don't even join.. but others I've been able to explain quite nicely. And by speaking up and saying that I'm willing to answer questions.. I've also gotten quite a few by PM there as well.
But I know I get horribly stressed with those verbal attacks and my "forte" isn't in appologetics (arguing with others) but rather in teaching (explaining/answering questions).. and being verbally attacked imo has no place in "teaching" so I won't go there.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Erin
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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Linda
After you posted I caught up on reading at the board, I'll admit to not sleeping well last night. There is no way that discussion should have happened, the original poster was inflammatory from the start, I'm 'intrigued' as to the guidelines that allowed such a conversation. You were very gracious indeed to enter such a conversation and do it so well. It was lovely to see a supporting team there too 
I didn't realise you were Australian Belle great to see you here.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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Belle
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 4:36pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for directing me this way Leanne, and that thank you Erin.
I agree the original poster was inflammatory and she continues to be, hence my resolve to no longer enter into any thread she starts as all seem to be started to make trouble. Had it been a face to face encounter I am shame faced to admit I probably would've ended up snotting her one. Which is why I admire Linda's restraint so much. (I had to bow out in order to not type out loud what I was really thinking!)
Thing is that thread could have been amicable if some of the posters had been able to check their prejudices at the door....
It's lovely to be somewhere that doesn't leave a nasty after taste in ones mouth (or should that be eyes?  )
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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 3:30am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry to hear what you have all been through, particularly for you Linda, I can't think of anyone who is so fair to all with love, online.
It's sad to read this coming from the opposing ladies, surely that ugliness is as unattractive to the hearts of others reading as well? I'm sure it is. What example is it exactly? Certainly not the biblical words, "See how those Christians love one another."
And boy what a WAY to start a thread! 
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 3:33am | IP Logged
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Just adding that God willing some great good and grace will come from that suffering and ill treatment..to think others have asked for the books..
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
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SeaStar
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 6:23am | IP Logged
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May God bless yo for defending our faith!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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leanne maree
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 6:34am | IP Logged
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I am praying that there will be grace and learning from this situation and online ugliness. ( At the other site)
But part of that has already happened, Belle and Linda are here now and they can be surrounded by the beautiful women here at this site.
Re the other ladies- I am just resolving myself to pray for them. It has not gone unnoticed by the moderators. I got quiye a lengthy pm, apologising for the tone of the thread.( I tried to have it closed earlier),
So lets rejoice in Gods' goodness and love today.
leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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adnilpress
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Hello ladies.
Certainly, some good has come from that thread - I know it could seem like the original poster was stirring, but I don't actually think she was - she had heard somewhere that Catholics weren't Christians, so, decided to ask about that. She herself was quite hurt and upset, and I think realised she doesn't always word things correctly, either - so with that, and others on the attack, it did get rather nasty (and the next thread did as well).
But, the pm's keep on coming! I'm speaking to a few via pm now, including the original poster, so that'll keep me on my toes for a little while.
Just for those who are wondering - it's our Australian forum where this has happened - it's usually a lovely place, but one lady has a heap of questions about various doctrines; this particular one entitled, 'Catholics? Christians?', really took on a life of its own, as I guess you've figured by now.
Thankyou so much, God bless,
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Linda
Homeschooling over 13 years.
Wife to Bill, Mother of 8, aged 8 to 18.
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Belle
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
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adnilpress wrote:
I know it could seem like the original poster was stirring, but I don't actually think she was - she had heard somewhere that Catholics weren't Christians, so, decided to ask about that. She herself was quite hurt and upset, and I think realised she doesn't always word things correctly, either - so with that, and others on the attack, it did get rather nasty (and the next thread did as well).
Thankyou so much, God bless,
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So it's more a lack of tact and diplomacy....well, we're all guilty of that from time to time. 
That thread has taught me it's better to sit on my hands than indulge certain topics of conversation.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Feeling a little battered....
