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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: June 02 2010 at 7:48pm | IP Logged
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My son will be 5 yrs old in August. I've gotten a lot of advice in the past on this forum about this. And thank you. I am asking this again due to new info. First of all my son is an only child. We are transplants and older(mid 40s). We try hard to make friends but here in the NE it is tough. We have some playdates for our son but they are few and far between. What I have been doing this past year is the following: soccor classes in the winter, pre-ballet/tap classes in the spring, swimming classes in the summer, and fall (not sure yet) I will be getting him a few roller skating classes in the fall because there is one very few homeschool activities my son is old enough to do, it is homeschool rollerskate (once a month). He is liking it less and less because he falls down a lot. So I plan on getting him a few roller skating lessons (they are a la carte, not a big deal but they start in the fall)
I've been happy with this schedule. Every teacher feels that their classes are indespensible of course. I talked to the ballet and tap teacher and said that boys will learn soccer no matter what, they don't really need a teacher. They teach each other, at playdates, backyard, etc. (my son does do soccer a lot in the back yard with me and my husband) but ballet and tap needs a teacher and it is good for music, rhythm, coordination, etc. And if we only do 1 season a year then perhaps starting next year all his classmates right now will have moved on and he will be in a class with kids younger than he is. And eventually the class age disparity will grow. He will forget everything and have to start in pre-ballet and tap again, although as he gets older he will be able to retain more. (he is a very busy little boy, not hyper per se, just very very active and normal) basically she felt that we should do 2 seasons back to back ballet and tap, like maybe fall and winter ballet and tap, then maybe spring do soccer since he can do it outside then and then swimming in the summer. What do you think of this advice. Its just a rejuggling of things. Its only 1 day a week no matter what 52 week a year and we have the money for it right now.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 02 2010 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
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it sounds like good advice IF this is something your son is really enjoying.
It's worth the time to put into something the child really likes and feels good about doing. Just because a child loves baseball, doesn't mean they'll feel good about playing it. So it really needs to be both.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 02 2010 at 11:10pm | IP Logged
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I know your son is young, and he probably enjoys almost everything you have taken the time to introduce him to. He's not old enough to prioritize these things for himself, either. (He reminds me of my dd, whose life motto seems to be "Sign me up!")
So that leaves you and your husband as schedule arbiters.
It is true that there is a point of no return with ballet in particular - once a child hits age 8 or so, you can't start that child in pre-ballet classes and be successful, because said child is too old.
There are, however, many styles of dance, and commitment to one particular style now doesn't preclude others in the future. My dd does Irish step dance, and one of the homeschooled boys in her performance group also does competitive tango dancing!
At your son's age, the most important thing is his interest. If he doesn't like something, there are plenty of other things to try - music, dance, art, sports, theater...so I would start with him. He is still young enough to walk away from any style of dance for a year or two and come back to it with no harm done. He could stop ballet now and go back next fall.
I would certainly encourage swimming in the summer, regardless, as long as he likes it. My dd's dance teacher really loves swim lessons and swim team, as they build up aerobic strength and use dance muscles, too! In addition, swimming is an essential life skill, one all children should develop so they are safe around bodies of water.
If your son is an extrovert (don't know if you can tell that yet, but you probably can), he will enjoy team activities at this age and in a couple of years he will tell you which ones he wants to drop and which he wants to keep. My dd loved every single team sport (and gymnastics and dance) from age 4 - 8 and didn't narrow down her interests until she was in 3rd grade. By that time, she knew her initial interest in Irish dance was genuine, and she also gave up team sports to focus on archery classes.
The bottom line? Try some of everything. Follow your son's lead. Don't overdo (trust me, you don't want to try to be in two places at one time). Ask him every few months if he wants to do (insert name of activity) for a while longer. If he says no, ask why not. (My extrovert daughter tossed soccer and baseball for archery four years ago. I was shocked. She is still shooting arrows at targets!)
I think you are doing just fine...
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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violingirl
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| Posted: June 03 2010 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
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I agree that there are certain things that you can't take a break from without essentially starting over and I'd include dance and music lessons in that category. However, with dance I don't think that keeping your schedule for another year or so is a bad thing, especially if you and he don't mind doing that pre-dance class over again.
The only problem I see is the social one- would your son care if he didn't move up with the students he's currently in class with? My 4.5 year old wouldn't really notice, so I'd have him repeat the class with new kids. But if you think your son would feel hurt over not "moving up" with the other kids, that might be something to consider.
Our local center runs in quarters so my boys can try a sport for 2 months, take a month off, then try another. We're making our first step into this program with t-ball starting this saturday. :) Whichever activity they choose to do each quarter is fine with me as long as it fits our schedule. The only thing we're requiring them to do is to take swimming lessons until they are strong swimmers. For me that's a life skill they need to have for the area where we live.
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Erin
DS (2005) DS (2007) DD (2012)
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: July 18 2011 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your great advice, I guess I'm updating this thread now. My son will soon be 6 yrs old and he has more playdates well at least once a week and with homeschooled kids, big happy face there. We found a catholic almost exclusively homeschooled kung fu outfit! Very nice and everyone is very nice and my son seems to really like it. Right now we are doing summer swim lessons. A pool friend of ours who coaches a local soccer team for kids my son's age encouraged us to do soccer with him. He said that kung fu is more for kids that have behavior problems - well he might be right but some just like it, period and that soccer is good to get into now since a child can get to know the team and what's like to be on and participate on a team. His big emphasis is that kids should learn how to behave on a team sport. I see that my son LOVES to run and that yes he can learn soccer really just in his back yard, will he miss out by not being on a team this early? well the dad talking to us sends his kids to public school so his opinion is probably heavily pushed by that and maybe also by maybe a need to get more members on his team?? I love how at kung fu there is no bullying, everyone is so nice save an autistic child who sometimes needs to be reined in - emotional thing or something (myhusband usually takes him so I don't know the details)
I usually am uncomfortable doing to extracurricular sports activities at the same time but this year we do have extra monies but still. we could just save it for a rainy day really.
Like the friend said at the pool, my son loves to run and he does not have behavior problems, he's not a discipline problem, but we did try basketball at our church (it was a clinic) and he was in a group of kids his age and there was name calling so...hmmm...kung fu and swimming seem to be best for now. He has not expressed interest in ballet or tap since.
Your thougths please?
Thank you!
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: July 18 2011 at 3:13pm | IP Logged
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If you have time (for games and practice) and money and your son expresses an interest in soccer, then I'd let him try it some time. But it sounds as if you all are happy with kung fu and swimming so I'd stick with that as long as it works. At that age soccer is still like "mob ball" with everyone chasing the ball at the same time. Cute to watch. However your ds will not miss out on anything if you don't start now and choose to do soccer in a couple of years. We have had the time and money to let our kids try a variety of sports, instruments and extra curricular activities. We do so as the opportunities arise. No big deal. Some things stick, others don't. My two cents. 
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: July 18 2011 at 3:23pm | IP Logged
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thank you, so you obviously must think along with me that the coach/friend from the pool is just speaking from a public school mentality - its all about groups and teams - and start them now now now or they will miss out! thank you! I have to admit I know NOTHING about sports. He had gone on how swimming and other things are activites but they are a team sport and the merits of team sports as opposed to acitivites that some call sports but are not. I certainly don't want to get my son started on the wrong road. I was thinking if there were a forum of men I would like to hear their opinion actually.My husband was raised mostly in the carribbean and it is much more laid back there. They had team sports but not like here. Thank you!
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: July 19 2011 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
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I don't think of it as a public school vs. homeschool mentality. I think some people just have different opinions as to what is important and how early that should start. And it depends on the child and your current situation (activity, finance and energy level and the opportunities that arise). We started certain sports and music early with some and later with others. I do see the value in team building and in exposing kids to team sports, but I think a child will also be fine without it. We've done martial arts, swimming, soccer, baseball, music (competition) as individuals and in quartets and orchestras. Some have gotten art classes and others haven't. There is value in all of that. The more varied the good experiences the better. That is one way of finding what a child likes and where his gifts and talents lie. But I wouldn't feel pressured to put a child in something just because someone else said it was the right time.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 19 2011 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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First off.. yes swim lessons are pretty much individual without much "team" but swimming as a sport is probably even better for "team" than most other sports.. depending on your team.. swim team is about your individual scores yes.. and some kids will win firsts and others will look to their own scores to see improvments and be thrilled with that. But you also score as a team and cheer each other on and help each other out. And you get more variety in ages.. you compete against your own age, but your team is from the youngest to the oldest swimmers.
There's nothing magic about being involved in team sports.. everything you learn there you can learn in any group situation. Sports can just be a fun way to do that.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: planning sports/extracurricular activitie
