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StefA
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Joined: May 20 2010
Location: Vermont
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 7:57pm | IP Logged
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So, I am not a very domestic person and was never trained in the art of homemaking. (I grew up in one of those "liberated" households). I don't know how to sew, I'm unorganized, and I've never been a very neat person. I don't know how to juggle my day- some of it is laziness, yes, and I've praying to God to help me with that, but I know a lot of it is that it was just never a habit that was well cultivated in me. I'm not sure I'm asking anything here, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in the position I've been in and has been able to overcome it.
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JaysFamily
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Joined: March 30 2010
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:23pm | IP Logged
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Yes, I have! You are not alone!
It's been a long battle, but I am still slowly organizing our home. I had zero domestic skills when I became a mother. For starters, I had to take big garbage bags and go through rooms and throw away things that we weren't using. I hated throwing away usable things instead of donating them, but until I was more organized I just couldn't worry about donating. Then, I had to focus on slowly building new habits. Once I started cleaning more, I had to find the joy in housekeeping. It was difficult to not fall into depression, but I had to recognize that this was a challenge that God called me to, and that he was molding me into a better person. I was well outside my comfort zone. Now, I'm focusing on organizing each shelf and drawer. The key is to start slowly, but to be persistent! I'm learning to set realistic goals, too. When you're as unorganized as I was, it'll take longer than a month to get back on the right path. In fact, I've been working on it for a year, and I still have a few hot spots to go through. It's different if you go in to reorganize an already well organized room. I'd love to snap my fingers and have a tidy house, but I'd rather focus on building new and good habits so that I can keep a neat and tidy house long term.
Some materials that have helped me are: a good planner, good music to listen to while organizing, and books on organizing. I had to ditch FlyLady and Motivated Moms. Those programs seemed to just add to the stress of changing life-long habits.
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In Christ,
Jaysfamily
wife to Jay
mother to DS(5)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 26 2010 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
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And sometimes something that seems impossible is just something that you can't do "like everyone else".. I can be sure all the dishes are done at least once a day if I plan that one time to be after lunch.. if I try and plan for it after dinner all I did was fail. Because by then I'm so used up by the day that I didn't do much of anything at all except spend time with my dh.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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StefA
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Joined: May 20 2010
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| Posted: May 27 2010 at 5:48am | IP Logged
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I do have a book on organizing- "Organizing Plain and Simple." Maybe it's time to really go through that again. I guess I have to be patient and not expect it to be an overnight process. I suppose I just feel like less of a woman and less of a homemaker because I don't have a super clean house.
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Maggie
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| Posted: May 27 2010 at 8:14am | IP Logged
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StefA wrote:
| So, I am not a very domestic person and was never trained in the art of homemaking. (I grew up in one of those "liberated" households). I don't know how to sew, I'm unorganized, and I've never been a very neat person. I don't know how to juggle my day- some of it is laziness, yes, and I've praying to God to help me with that, but I know a lot of it is that it was just never a habit that was well cultivated in me. I'm not sure I'm asking anything here, but I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in the position I've been in and has been able to overcome it. |
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Sounds like you came from the same household I did. 
Domesticity mystifies me. I am trying...but I fall...a lot...but my husband assures me I am getting better. 
I will read the other posts...because this is a daily and minute by minute battle for me.
__________________
Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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LeeAnn
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| Posted: May 27 2010 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
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Stef, I highly recommend this blog Like Mother, Like Daughter for beginning (and even experienced) homemakers. It's informative and fun and really helpful!
I grew up with the same problem, but mainly it was because my mother was divorced and had to do it all on her own. Not a lot of time or energy for the niceties of homemaking, let alone teaching me how to do them. I've been married 15 years and I'm still learning!
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my four children are 17, 15, 11 & 8 - all now attend public school - we read many 4Real recommended books at home
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mama2many
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| Posted: May 28 2010 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
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Oh I could have written this post myself!! I am a work in progress for sure!
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Cultivating domesticity
