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Helen
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 8:40am | IP Logged
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I remember an experienced Mom told me that after pregnancy she didn't begin to feel normal until the baby was six months old. It helped her to feel more like herself once the baby was able to sleep a little longer during the night and was able to sit up on his own.
This bit of advice from an experienced Mom really helped me to go beyond the medical community saying that it takes six weeks after pregnancy for the uterus to shrink back in size.
Would you mind sharing your experience of how long it takes you to recover after a miscarriage? On the internet I've read that it takes at least 10 days after your natural miscarriage or D&C for the pregnancy hormones to drop to zero. How long does it take for the body to stop feeling like its in rebellion?
Managing grief must also factor in on feeling like you recovered. This must vary from woman to woman. How long before you felt like yourself again?
Thank you in advance!
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Ave Maria!
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 9:01am | IP Logged
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Well, when I was 26 and didn't have other little ones at home, I felt normal after about 4 weeks, had a . 28 days after the loss, conceived again on day 14 of the cycle. But, oh my, was that long ago and in a different phase of life entirely! When I was 40, I felt wiped for at least 2 months, and then not 100% until about 5 months after. At that point, I had 5 dc at home, ages 2 through 13, was homeschooling, and was a bit older than the first time. I'm sure it varies with each woman and her circumstances at the time, as well as (for me) just how anemic she is.
Be gentle with yourself, Helen, and don't let worrying about not feeling perfect become a drain in itself. 
Peace,
Nancy
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JennGM
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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One miscarriage I had a D&C and another I had a laparacopy, both requiring anesthesia, so I had different factors requiring a bit more recovery. I think physically it took at least 2 months (2 full cycles) for recovery for me to feel a bit back to normal. But the body is actually healing much faster, and I have friends who got pregnant the next cycle!
The grief was hard and longer than that, but not as uncontrollable. With hormone fluctuation before the two months I had long crying jags during my showers getting dressed, and crying at Church. While I still did those things long afterward, it was less frequent and more "predictable" (a bit more controlled, you might say).
Helen. Just continue to be gentle on yourself. It would be so nice to go back to having physical displays of loss, so that society can recognize and nurture us in our time of grief, also.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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a miscarriage can be much harder on you than a birth for one thing. Sure you can get the sleep. But also, PPD tends to be harder with a loss. Grief on top of that and it can take quite some time. And then if you've had any trauma, dramatic blood loss etc.
An early miscarriage, is much easier on the body for instance. The later a loss, the harder things like PPD will be.
And even if you recover physically, even if you avoid the PPD, even if you get pregnant again, the grief doesn't just go away. Here I am, halfway through a new pregnancy after a hard loss last year.. and I'm dreading the end of the month. We lost the baby June 1st last year, it's going to be hard.. just thinking about it is hard.
Physically, without the major blood loss. A month should find you mostly recovered physically.
PPD that can last for some time but there are things, supplements and such you can do that will help. But I would expect that it would take longer than the physical healing if you are dealing with it. For me I think it was 3-4 months, but I normally have little PPD. This can really last for something up to about 12 months I believe.
Grief.. gets easier as time passes. It doesn't mean you don't miss the child less but you hit all those milestones that first year.. when things you expect would have happened.. and then you hit the times from the year before when you remember being pregnant at that time and then you hit the anniversary of the loss.. but all the time the time between the bouts with more intense grief get easier. And each time you tend to have more space in between the "ruts in the road" that overwhelm you with the grief.
Extra vit D and B complex helped me soooooooooooo much, I can't recommend those enough. Though coming into summer the D might be too much.. for myself it was mid-winter in a northern state when I was taking extra.
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stacykay
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
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Dear Helen,
my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage at 10 weeks. I bled quite a bit and had both a suction d&c followed by a surgical d&c, three days later (it was Good Friday '87.) Physical recovery took a good month, but emotional recovery took much longer (I was working as a nurse in a Catholic hospital and was so disappointed by the lack of sympathy I experienced.)
My second miscarriage occurred after my 5th pregnancy (and #4ds  .) I was only 6 weeks along at that point and didn't have to have a d&c. I felt lousy for a couple of weeks, but not awful. Emotionally, I can't say you could gauge by that loss. I was going through my mum being gravely ill and many trips to visit her. The stress of my mum's illness pretty much was the presiding grief in my life at that point.
I also became pregnant after my first cycle after the second miscarriage...with my first miscarriage, I didn't get pregnant again for four cycles.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 9:21pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Helen!  I must have missed your original post. I am so sorry. I don't have any advice as I have never had a miscarriage, but I will be praying for you.
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Helen
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| Posted: May 06 2010 at 7:25am | IP Logged
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hylabrook1 wrote:
| Be gentle with yourself, Helen, and don't let worrying about not feeling perfect become a drain in itself. |
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Thanks for the good advice Nancy. My two other pregnancies took me a long time to recover. My first (in my 20s) I felt better at my daughter's First birthday.
With my last pregnancy, it was at the second birthday that I said, "Geesh, I think I'm feeling better now." 
hylabrook1 wrote:
| When I was 40, I felt wiped for at least 2 months, and then not 100% until about 5 months after. |
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Thank you for telling me this. If my pregnancies take a while to recover, this event should also take me a while to recover from.
JennGM wrote:
| With hormone fluctuation before the two months I had long crying jags during my showers getting dressed, and crying at Church. |
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I'm definitely still in the up and down, fluctuation time. I find I'm breaking into tears when I notice the dramatic change in my body. I can stand in the kitchen now without a fight against nausea and the dramatic change is such a strong reminder of my loss. It's weird to cry because I *don't* feel sick.
JodieLyn wrote:
| PPD that can last for some time but there are things, supplements and such you can do that will help. But I would expect that it would take longer than the physical healing if you are dealing with it. For me I think it was 3-4 months, but I normally have little PPD. This can really last for something up to about 12 months I believe. |
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Do you thnk PPD is tied to how exhausted you feel? My last pregnancy was a complete drain. I cried almost every day from the difficulty of feeling ill.This time I only had 14 weeks of feeling ill. I don't feel as worn out.
Thanks Jodie -- good to know your experience.
StacyKay wrote:
| I also became pregnant after my first cycle after the second miscarriage...with my first miscarriage, I didn't get pregnant again for four cycles. |
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I was very interested in this Stacy. Thanks for posting your experiences. I didn't think I had fertility and now I have two pregnancies in my forties. I'm not sure what to think anymore! I realized when you posted your experience that I'm very curious as to what is going to happen to me after this. Will I go back to the Helen of my 30's or will it be the Helen of 40s.
I guess I'm curious because this miscarriage feels like a car crash. My "car" feels totaled. But, that may not be the case. It may just be a feeling.
EricaSanchez wrote:
| Oh, Helen! I must have missed your original post. I am so sorry. I don't have any advice as I have never had a miscarriage, but I will be praying for you. |
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Thanks Erica! It has been such a source of comfort to me to have good friends here and IRL who share this cross with me. The Lord has not left me empty. I am the mother of a new soul. This is a tremendous gift for which I am truly grateful. Death does not completely take the awesome gift of life away from me. There is another life to look forward to where every tear will be wiped away.
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Sarah
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| Posted: May 06 2010 at 8:57am | IP Logged
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I had a 20 week miscarriage once. It took every bit of 40 days for physical symptoms to resolve and probably 3 months of sorrow, then several months of occasional sorrow. Be very easy on yourself for 6 months to a whole year! I'm so sorry. No one really understands after several months, either. They think you should be all over it. Its a silent sorrow. Internal. Come here to all of us if you needs shoulder. Most mothers who have miscarried are tremendously sympathetic and supportive. God bless you. This suffering is somehow a gift.
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JennGM
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| Posted: May 06 2010 at 9:10am | IP Logged
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Sarah wrote:
| This suffering is somehow a gift. |
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Yes, I agree, Sarah. God's ways are not our ways...
I was just talking to a local friend who also experienced a miscarriage this past week.
She was crying throughout Mass, but happy that she had the gift of tears, because it is a blessing. It helps us heal and express our emotions. With two eyes full of tears--one is for sorrow at the loss, the other is full of joy knowing our little one is in the arms of Our Lord and Our Lady.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 06 2010 at 11:20am | IP Logged
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Helen wrote:
Do you thnk PPD is tied to how exhausted you feel? My last pregnancy was a complete drain. I cried almost every day from the difficulty of feeling ill.This time I only had 14 weeks of feeling ill. I don't feel as worn out.
Thanks Jodie -- good to know your experience |
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Oh defineately Helen. PPD can often manifest as a "tiredness" type of feeling. I describe it as having lead weights tied to all my muscles.. it takes so. much. effort. just to get up from the chair let alone actually do anything.
And grief can also make you feel tired. Part of it is stress.. and stress uses up your B-vitamins and those at least you can replace.
But yes, feeling tired can be a symptom of the emotional rather than the physical.
And yes it also seems like those with harder pregnancies have harder time with PPD.
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Martha in VA
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Helen,
I'm 42 and miscarried in February. I was feeling really hormonal and not myself until a couple of weeks ago. I think the fog is lifting. Give yourself time.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: recovery time after miscarriage
