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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 7:23am | IP Logged
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I had a hard time picking a good title for this, one that would catch the eye. This is the best I can come up with.
My son who is 4.5 yrs old is very very talkative and inquisitive. I am teaching him the faith. I read to him A LOT and since he was 3 months old. We discuss at times other religions and history and other beliefs like ancient egypt and moses and other gods and that other gods are false gods, etc. etc. So my son knows that we have the one true faith so now I need to write to you. Here is why.
I think my son was just pulling my chain but well just in case I am writing to you. I discussed it with my husband and he felt it best to run it by you.
Yesterday we had a lot of time outside playing. He met different kids to play with (now if you read my prior post, when we went to the co-op which was our last stop 3:30-5pm it was the most unfriendly play time but before that we had a great great time at the park, just so you are not confused, Sorry I don't want to sidetrack anyone). I always teach my son whenever we see or hear sirens or see anyone in trouble we should say a prayer. we say a prayer like to st. Michael or St. Christopher, we pray through them and ask for Jesus to help them, etc.
So armed with this knowledge my son at the park time made a friend and an ambulance went by. He said a prayer (I was not hovering, he told me about it later) He also told me that his friend did not say a prayer. He also told me last night that he wants to tell all his friends (well kids that play with him at the park, we just happen to come across them but nothing is planned ahead, etc.) that the catholic faith is the one true faith.
Now my husband and I sort of disagree on how I approached this but we both agree that it is a difficult topic and wish for you to give your opinion.
I said that your job is to be a happy little boy playing and your job is not to tell others about your faith right now unless you have a special calling. I've taught him about the saints and he said well some saints did tell others about the faith at a young age. So I said that they had a special calling and that I feel that he does not (I feel that he was just pulling my chain because truly he likes to do that and I don't want to denigrate my son, but he HATES the Mass because it takes too long. He HATES the Rosary because it takes too long. And I think he is a totally normal little boy. we give him a treat for good behavior after Mass and he usually does have good behavior. We allow him to play quietly during Rosary or we do the 'fun' Rosary where we act a mini mini play on that particular mystery. He LOVES heroes and rescue, and super heros and I tell him that Jesus is the super hero to end all super heros and we did a eucharistic miracle craft project which he enjoyed very much and we do plays about st. George and the dragon complete with dragon food and St. martin de tours complete with special food because these are manly saints that display weapons - right up his alley. So my son is not devoid of spirituality but he is not completely caught up in it. He likes to play, simple and sweet, he is ordinary and I love him. ANd when I read to him about other religions (a while back) he said that he did not believe in Jesus, I think just to yank my chain. I responded but not with excitement. He likes to see what I will do I guess because I am so religious.
So back to what i was saying. I told him that it is not his job to go around talking about religion unless someone else brings it up. He can pray whenever he wants. I told him that we should not tell others that our faith is the only true faith because it might offend others and then they will think 'I don't want to be catholic, look at how they behave!'. Then I thought about it a little more and I realized that if he had a calling to do this he could engage in play about the good shepherd, etc. because we did a lot of good shepherd stuff (catholic cuisine - awesome website!!) if he chooses but not to be pushy about the faith. And especially all we can do is pray for others to come into the catholic faith but we always want to be sweet, never offensive. So I don't know. Its kinda a tough one. Your thoughts please? Thank you!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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I'd probably praise him gently, and not really bring too much attention to much of anything else. If he let me know he said a prayer in the park when the ambulance passed and others didn't, I'd probably say, "You're such a sweet boy to remember to say your prayers." And, if he persisted with something like, "but the other little boy didn't say prayers with me." I'd probably respond honestly, but very succinctly - "The other little boy doesn't have to say prayers with you. We don't force others around us to pray, but Mommy is so proud that you said your prayers!" Big hug...and moving on.
Your son is 4.5 - his understanding of his faith is sincere and beautiful. Work with that. No need to over-think or over-analyze this for anything more than it is - he's wondering why others don't pray like him and his sincere faith wants to express itself. Use words like, "God loves everyone." and "Not everyone knows about God, but we can pray for them." (side note from experience...be careful about specific use of names here...this is likely to be repeated at the park, Thanksgiving table, wherever, that you are praying for Mrs. So-and-so who doesn't love Jesus.  ) You can also say, "I'm so glad you love Jesus so much. This makes Jesus so happy," when he says he wants to tell the world (all small children in the sandbox at the playground) that the Catholic Church is the one true faith. What you've done is answer his desire to tell you that he's learning and that his faith is alive. You're not squashing his desires, but you're not really encouraging him to go out and convert the sandbox either. Just use simple, gentle words - praise, encourage, redirect.
Take a deep breath, relax, and just enjoy the time with him! Really! If he does tell Susie that the Catholic Church is the one true faith, just give him a big hug and gently redirect him to the squirrel collecting acorns, or the swings going super high or some other delight.
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Jen Mackintosh
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LucyP
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 9:13am | IP Logged
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My son who is now 6 did and does this too. He once tried to evangelise some muslim children who were neighbours of ours, and has had to be gently prised away from big conversations with children about why they should be Catholic.
We recently studied St Dominic Savio, and we talked about while he was very ready to correct and exhort anyone, even adults, he was also a founder of the sodality of Mary Immaculate, and one of their rules was "to be the first to do the right thing". So we talked about St Francis and the whole preach the gospel at all times, use words if necessary thing in that light. It has helped him. It also helps me, because "be the first to do the right thing" is a great, short and sweet reminder during situations like squabbles with his sister or other children, when other children misbehave at Mass etc, where he needs to sacrifice himself for others.
I did talk to him about how important it is to let people know that God loves them and how using words, especially when we are very young, can get in the way of that. So he is trying to be the first to do the right thing and preach the gospel without words.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 11:52am | IP Logged
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I tend to fall back on "Parents have the right and responsibility to teach their own children". We can share what we do, we can even share why we do it. But if we start correcting others (and telling them that their faith isn't the right one would be correcting) then we're placing ourselves over their parents, unless those parents have delegated that responsiblity.
That's not a direct quote.. but it is in the Catechism.. wish I could find mine 
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LucyP
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
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Yes Jodie - we sometimes talk about that too. Our son had an experience of an older pagan child "enlightening" him about the devil and vampires and serial killers once, and we have shared how other parents might feel as cross about him saying that Catholicism is the answer as we felt about that boy's information.
One way that helps our 6yo understand is that we talk about different faiths and denominations being like jigsaws - that the Catholic Church has all the pieces and the picture has been put together properly, but that in different ways, other denominations and faiths have some pieces of the real picture missing, some new pieces added, and some pieces are not in the right places yet; and we also remind him that everyone is at a different stage of finishing their own puzzle anyway and God has a plan for everyone. He gets that idea, and it has helped him not feel he has to "save" everyone he meets because everyone already has some of God's truth in their life. I am pretty sure that the idea came from a priest's blog which I read, so I feel happy to use the example, personally.
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: May 05 2010 at 2:01pm | IP Logged
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Wow, Lucy! I'm going to print up the part about the jigsaw! What a clear and helpful explanation, especially the part about people being at different stages of finishing their own puzzle. Thank you for sharing that.
Peace,
Nancy
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: May 07 2010 at 6:33am | IP Logged
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I agree and like your advice on my post about what to say to my 4.5 yr old son who wants to tell friends about his faith and that our faith is the 1 true faith. Basically I think the most pithy statement is one from St. Francis of Assissi - if necessary use words. We lead others by the way we behave.
Yet this link is stuck in my claw. It makes me feel quilty for even saying that. Please put it into perspective for me. Thank you!
http://www.realcatholictv.com/free/index.php?vidID=vort-2010 -05-05
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SeaStar
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| Posted: May 07 2010 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
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Hi, DolorsofMary-
The link that you posted is for a private site that requires registration, so most of us can't see it. Can you summarize it for us to help us understand what is bothering you?
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dolorsofmary
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| Posted: May 07 2010 at 5:48pm | IP Logged
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so sorry here is the link from youtube. its really great. I love real catholic tv. but it makes me feel quilty
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBCpxoN-olI
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Milehimama
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| Posted: May 11 2010 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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We've had similar issues - and issues with other kids trying to "convert" my kids. If it's just kid to kid I wouldn't worry too much. Give your son words to use so he is not offensive, but you must be careful that he doesn't feel there is anything shameful or that religion should be hidden. Everything at that age is so concrete - he can't see in shades of gray. Things are TRUE or NOT TRUE. It's REAL or NOT REAL. This just seems like a natural outgrowth of that. You've taught him Catholic is real, and he wants to tell his friends.
So maybe you can give him words to share - 'I am a Catholic, we believe it is the one true church' - that are not abrasive but still allow him to share this part of himself with his friends.
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crusermom
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| Posted: May 11 2010 at 11:39am | IP Logged
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I like to tell my children that you teach people about how wonderful the Catholic faith is by the way that you act. Show them what a good Catholic little boy acts like - being charitable, sharing toys, being cheerful, etc.....
I don't appreciate when my kids get preached at by other kids - usually just repeating things they have heard at home and usually coming across in a condescending way. My children have had their feelings hurt.
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Mary
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4Real Forums : Nurturing the Years of Wonder
Topic: telling playmates catholic is the way
