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Paula in MN
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 1:57pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

I thought we've touched on this before, but I may be wrong.

My mom and her husband stayed with us the past week, and will be again next week. They are transitioning before the big move to Vegas.

For the last few years she has had physical ailments, but that's all. All I can say is that she has changed.

First, she repeats herself. Constantly. My dd11 was almost in tears because Grama kept telling her not to worry about it (something that happened) and 10 minutes later she would walk over to her and tell her all over again not to worry about it.

Second, she has become extremely forgetful. My sister and I noticed that a year ago, but her husband disagreed. Now he admits that she has been forgetting a lot.

So, any advice? They've been given a clean bill of health (physically) and are set to move the last week of May. My Aunt and Uncle and two sets of cousins all live out there, so I'm not worried about them being alone out there. I'm more worried about what to expect when I visit.

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 2:10pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

How old is your mother, Paula?

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Paula in MN
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 2:15pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Sorry, trust me to leave out the pertinent information!

She's 71. She'll be 72 in September.

Her husband (Tom) said he asked if any of this could be caused by the medication she's been on since her heart surgery two months ago, and all three doctors told him no.

He is also wondering if it could be attributed to stress, since they sold the house, had all their belongings shipped to a storage facility in Vegas and are living out of suitcases for the next two weeks. I agree that some things can be caused by stress, but this is not that, know what I mean?

She is not the same person anymore. She used to be very knowledgeable, a world traveler with the gift of gab. All she did the entire time they were here was sit on the couch and complain.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 2:20pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

forgetting things can be caused by stress and even if that's not all there is.. it may be increasing the normal levels.

There are pharmacists that specialize in making sure there's no interaction between meds. They might want to check that.

Some good vitamins might be helpful for things like the stress and such.. b-complex are your typical "stress vitamins" and vit. D can be very hard for older people to get enough of.

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JennGM
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 2:40pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

My grandmother started getting like that, Paula. And I'm watching my MIL start slipping, too.

But for my grandmother she was very low in B-12, I believe. She got weekly shots and these helped greatly on getting her memory and personality back. She was seeming to have little TIAs even, but they couldn't find anything.

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Posted: May 03 2010 at 3:25pm | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Paula, it seems as if you are describing a fairly sudden change. It could be due to stress.   If they are moving now, perhaps you could wait a month or so after the move and see if she improves. I think a complete physical with blood work would be the next step if you think her impairment is worsening or is more than can be reasonably attributed to stress. A geriatrics doctor can test her memory easily in an office visit (we had my mom tested, and even though she seems quite forgetful to us, he did say she was fine and what we were seeing was stress related from her fulltime care of my Alzheimer afflicted father. ). Most dementia or Alzheimer-type losses occur fairly slowly and the patient has good days when they seem almost completely fine, followed by bad days when they are very impaired.
There are several medically treatable causes of memory loss, so I would certainly seek medical help if it continues.

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Paula in MN
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 5:42pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Thanks for the ideas. I'm going to chat with my Aunt in Vegas and ask her for input after they've been out there a few weeks. I'm definitely going to recommend the B12 and vitamin D.

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Posted: May 03 2010 at 8:53pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

No great ideas. I will be praying for her and for all of you. This sounds very difficult; I hope there is a specific cause that can be taken care of. It's really good to see you, Paula!

Peace,
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guitarnan
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 1:15pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

Oh, Paula, I am praying for you and your mom!

I do think Caroline's suggestions are excellent. Jodie's right, too - one medication alone might not cause a problem, but combos of specific meds can create issues.

I am glad you are discussing this with her husband. I also think that if you've seen a change since, say, this time last year, you're in a better position to notice differences in her behavior and cognitive abilities than, perhaps, he is - you don't see her every day and it was probably instantly obvious to you that something was really different.

I read a great book on eldercare recently that emphasized that aging parents are very focused on a couple of things - remaining in control and deciding what their legacy (not necessarily financial) will be. Living out of suitcases is not being in control, so I do think it's a good idea to pursue medical evaluations once they're settled and stable instead of right now.

I so totally empathize...please PM me if you need a shoulder to cry on...

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amyable
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 1:39pm | IP Logged Quote amyable

When a friend of mine had a husband go through heart surgery several years ago, I learned that both depression and what I just learned is called "pump head" can be very common after heart surgery.

Here is a link about it, I'm sure there are more:
Depression after heart surgery

Both include personality changes, forgetfulness, etc

Praying for your mom and your family!




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Posted: May 04 2010 at 4:31pm | IP Logged Quote Pilgrim

I can't remember the name of it, but there was a medication a lady I took care of in her home that changed her dramatically, getting symptoms like Alheimers and Parkinsons combined. The med started with a "P" is all I can remeber. Doctors said no it wasn't the cause, but after she stopped it she improved greatly.

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Posted: May 04 2010 at 5:10pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Oh, Paula... I am so sorry to hear this. I am praying that a cause will be found and your mom will improve.

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Paula in MN
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 5:31pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

guitarnan wrote:
I read a great book on eldercare recently that emphasized that aging parents are very focused on a couple of things - remaining in control and deciding what their legacy (not necessarily financial) will be. Living out of suitcases is not being in control, so I do think it's a good idea to pursue medical evaluations once they're settled and stable instead of right now.


Do you remember the name of the book?

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guitarnan
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 5:57pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

It's Caring for Our Parents by Howard Gleckman. I borrowed it from our library.

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