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Subject Topic: Quiet Baptism or big party? Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Sarah
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 7:22am | IP Logged Quote Sarah

As I ponder what I will do with our baby's Baptism who due to be born in June I would like to ask you all what your thoughts and personal preferences are.

Do you have a quiet Baptism with just your family and godparents? Do you have a big reception with friends? What have you done in the past and how old was your baby?

I feel like just a quiet Baptism is kind of selfish when people want to share in the joy. . . But I'm always so tired.

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 7:25am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I've done both, and I prefer the big party, but the small ones were lovely, too! With our big party, though, friends contributed a LOT with food and everything.

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 7:33am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Oh, and our first was a little party, but he was 6 weeks old, the second was little, and he was a week, the third was big, and he was also a week. (All my babies so far have been born on Sunday).

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stacykay
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 7:44am | IP Logged Quote stacykay

Our baptisms grew over the years, as dss came along. With our first, it was just family (grandparents and our siblings and their families.)
With next ds, we went outside family for Godparents (didn't have any left in family. )
And so it has continued. With each successive baptism, we invite our families and each of older childrens' godparents and their families, too, in addition to new godparents and families. We have tried to get all dss and their godparents together for a big group picture at each one, also.

Now, over the years, not all godparents or even family have been available to come, so the numbers fluctuate.

It does make for work, but as Lindsay noted, there may be offers of help. I have always ordered out the fruit and veg. trays and cake. For the first four baptisms and #6ds's, I ordered party subs and someone was always willing to go and get them for us. #5ds's baptism was two days before Christmas, and I made up two huge pans of lasagna. Plus a huge salad, bread, the fruit and veg trays and cake. It worked well.

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Stacy in MI

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DominaCaeli
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 8:59am | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

We have done small baptisms for all of our children for a variety of reasons.

:: Most of our family is not Catholic (or not practicing).
:: All three of our biological children have been just four days old at their baptism (the earliest we happened to be able to schedule it), which means I am still in recovery mode and not up to hosting a party (or even attending one).
:: In order to have the baptism done as quickly as possible, we schedule it privately for a weekday when Father is free, making it difficult for working family members to attend. (Our newborn was baptized on a Friday at noon, for example.)

I am not a party person anyway, so I have loved the intimacy of our children's baptisms. It has usually been just us and the child's godparent(s).

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JodieLyn
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 4:44pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Scheduling it on a Sunday (which isn't that difficult here) means that our whole church community gets to celebrate with us and I don't have to host a party.

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ekbell
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 8:31pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

My first baby was baptized at about three months of age on the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend and I ended up hosting my first family Thanksgiving with my family and my MIL. It was fairly quiet as my FIL had died a couple of months earlier

I had a much larger reception for my second baby (also about three months old) as I was living closer to family and people were able to come. My family (both blood and in-laws) strongly believes in providing something for family occasions so my main job was coordinating everything. It was fun but tiring.

My second and third babies (3mths and 2mths) had receptions which were somewhat inbetween.

We moved away to a place with less family (only one BIL with his family rather then multiple siblings and their inlaws, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents grandparents, ....) so we had a much smaller reception for my fifth child. She was two weeks old so the fact that my BIL who lived locally was kind enough to host the reception was much appreciated.
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JennGM
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 9:57pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Sarah, I've hesitated to answer because in my family, there is nothing like a "small, quiet, intimate" celebration. If I invite family, it's large.

But I do make it lower stress. I have required c-sections and I'm slower to heal, so for our first, we had "larger" but had all the food made elsewhere, so no work besides picking it up. It was wonderful, but hard on me, becasue I did it too soon (less than 4 weeks). And not being at home, it wasn't as comfortable.

For ds2 we had brunch, with immediate family and very close local friends. It was easy, simple and quiet, and very wonderful.

I liked both, although I'd make the larger gathering happen later rather than sooner after birth. If you are doing sooner, make it small.

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SuzanneG
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Posted: May 03 2010 at 11:30pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

We have done small and large (meaning number of people)....but there is no party afterwards (at our house anyway) except tagging onto our Church's Coffee-n-Donuts. Sometimes someone brings a few extra trays of food. The Coffee-Donuts people are always very happy to stay a bit longer.    

We have no family here, and I could NEVER host a party by myself that soon after a birth. Well...maybe I could NOW...as my kids aren't ALL young...but in the past there was no way.

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Erica Sanchez
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 12:56am | IP Logged Quote Erica Sanchez

All of ours have been very large with lots of family and friends invited. We don't do them early, though, something that I am only now wondering if we've somehow messed up in that respect. All of the children have been about 2 months old and I normally feel great by then. All of ours have been private (not at a Mass) and the parties for the first half were at the church hall and the rest here at our home.

It's definitely a little crazy, but throwing parties is what we're good at. :) Other Sacraments (FHC) and parties are much smaller.

Sarah, one thing my sister and I were speaking about was the idea of our family (parents, sister, brothers) hosting the reception or at least preparing the food. We can't believe we haven't done it like this. Also, I've attended Baptisms of friends that were potlucks. It makes so much sense and I was more than happy to contribute. You could go that route. No one would mind. :)

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Sarah
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Posted: May 04 2010 at 9:45pm | IP Logged Quote Sarah

Thanks so much! I think the difference really has to do with age of the baby and whether the mother is an introvert or extrovert. Being an introvert means that you are zapped of energy when around people and an extrovert is actually recharged by having people around them. Since we're baptize the first week of life and I am an introvert, I guess I have concluded that a small gathering is best. I'm just glad to hear there are both types of people and I'm not alone! But I very much think those of you with big gatherings are so wonderfully generous. I wish I was like you. God bless.

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