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LLMom
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 6:06pm | IP Logged
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I am wondering if anyone has ever been dresses only for a long period of time and then switched back? Or if you thought about doing dresses only but didn't actually follow through, can you share why?
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 6:33pm | IP Logged
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I would love to hear others thoughts on this. I have been praying about this for years now and just have not felt like I was being called to dresses only. I do wear dresses/skirts a lot, just not exclusively. When I started veiling (over 15 years ago) I felt very strongly in prayer that I was being called to it and had it confirmed by both my husband and pastor but not so with dresses.
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Michele Quigley
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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Or thought about switching back and didn't because after so long in skirts which "hide," they felt terribly exposed, and dare I say it, FAT in pants when they tried them on at the store to get a free gift card? 
But I've always loved capris and cropped pants, and I do think about switching back, especially in summer, when I see how cute they look on the (skinny) models in the catalogs 
Sometimes when I go to the local gardens which are huge and have tons of international visitors, I people watch and dream of getting away with wearing the beautiful Indian clothing. The pants under the very long tops/short dress things (no technical vocab here, sorry) in beautiful feminine fabrics--those women look gorgeous, feminine, and comfy.
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Lindsay
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 6:58pm | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
Or thought about switching back and didn't because after so long in skirts which "hide," they felt terribly exposed, and dare I say it, FAT in pants when they tried them on at the store to get a free gift card?
But I've always loved capris and cropped pants, and I do think about switching back, especially in summer, when I see how cute they look on the (skinny) models in the catalogs |
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Oh my goodness this is such a good point! We were watching some old videos a few days ago and I was appalled at how, um . . .embarrassingly bad I looked in pants that I know I thought looked fine at the time. It was a real eye opener.
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| Sometimes when I go to the local gardens which are huge and have tons of international visitors, I people watch and dream of getting away with wearing the beautiful Indian clothing. The pants under the very long tops/short dress things (no technical vocab here, sorry) in beautiful feminine fabrics--those women look gorgeous, feminine, and comfy. |
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I love those --SO pretty. Yes it's the feminine thing that I want to espouse and of course modesty. I did get a pretty strong reaction from my dh a few weeks back when I was in the kitchen in a long skirt and apron. He said he just LOVED how I looked right then but when I asked if he would prefer I only wear skirts he said "no, not all the time".  Thanks hon, that helps a lot. 
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Michele Quigley
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sewcrazy
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
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I wore skirts only for years, but at my dh's urging I mix in capris and slacks on occasion. He tells me that well fitting pants are flattering on me, and I know when I wear slacks, people ask me how much weight I lost.
I do feel a little "naughty" in pants, exposed somehow.
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LeeAnn
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| Posted: April 06 2010 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
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Ever since reading Dressing with Dignity I have thought about it. Dh doesn't seem to care either way, but my oldest would love to see me in more skirts. I only wear skirts on Sundays now. I would love to feel more feminine. I think the biggest reason I haven't done it is that I am a terrible shopper. When I do need to buy clothes I go into the store, find a style of shirt or whatever it is that I am looking for and then buy it in all the colors that they have. I wear the same thing *every* day, just in different colors.
If I had a mentor, who would tell me what to buy so that I would look feminine and feel comfortable I would switch to skirts only in a heartbeat.
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guitarnan
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Beth, I totally relate! I do this partly because I am so hard to fit - pants or skirts, it doesn't matter. When I find something that works I buy it in at least 3 colors.
I love skirts, but not when I'm shoveling snow, hiking up a steep trail, helping with a January Eagle Scout project (brrr) or climbing ladders. For some applications, my trusty jeans are just more practical.
Similarly, on hot and sultry summer days, skirts are it. There is a reason why Italian and French women don't wear shorts in the summer - skirts are cooler.
My dh prefers whatever I'm not wearing in all those colors...(this means he likes variety, really). I am okay with that, as long as I feel comfortably modest (I am in a church music group and play an instrument, so I need clothes that don't pull open, gap, etc. during Mass, since we are  up in front of everyone). Winter is easy - pretty sweaters and long skirts or corduroy trousers - but summer is more difficult. I wear broomstick skirts almost every day in the summer. It's the tops (T-shirts and pullovers for me, as I don't like button-front blouses) that cause a problem.
Maybe we need a separate thread for favorite summer shirts and tops?
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Paula in MN
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I would love to wear longer skirts, but I haven't been able to find anything affordable that fits me without looking frumpy.
My dh wants me to be comfortable, especially if I have to run from wild animals, etc.
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 Paula
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guitarnan
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| Posted: April 07 2010 at 6:36am | IP Logged
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Wild animals...didn't think about that! (We lived in the mountains for two years, with bears in our yard, so I actually should have thought about them...but...)
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MicheleQ
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Paula in MN wrote:
| I would love to wear longer skirts, but I haven't been able to find anything affordable that fits me without looking frumpy. |
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I know what you mean, it can really be a challenge. I can find plenty of things I like but not often in my price range. And yeah I can sew but that takes time --though skirts are some of the easiest things to make so that helps...
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| My dh wants me to be comfortable, especially if I have to run from wild animals, etc. |
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guitarnan wrote:
| Wild animals...didn't think about that! (We lived in the mountains for two years, with bears in our yard, so I actually should have thought about them...but...) |
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OK I know you're both serious but for some reason this struck me as funny!
It's a valid point though!
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Michele Quigley
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guitarnan
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It is funny, Michele, but serious too. When I moved to WV I learned about so many things I had never thought about before...it was a very good experience. (Of course, being a homeschooler, I ran out and bought Plaster of Paris to make track casts, but every time Smokey turned up in our yard and left tracks, it rained, so I never did get a cast! My neighbors on base thought I was insane - all they could think about was Smokey eating their kids.)
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Becky Parker
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It seems like for as long as I can remember I wished I was "one of those ladies who wear skirts all the time and looked absolutely comfortable and normal in them". Then, 8 years ago, when we started homeschooling I met several ladies like that, and finally took the plunge myself. I loved wearing my skirts all the time. My husband also approved (I think because his favorite grandmother lived on a farm and wore skirts exclusively and his mom didn't even start wearing pants until he was an adult.)
Then, 3 years ago, while pregnant with my 5th child, a friend gave me a whole bunch of maternity clothes - all pants and tops. I was really tired of my old maternity clothes so I gladly accepted and wore them. Well, then I just never got back into the habit of skirts. I am still very big on dressing in a feminine and modest way, but I do that with pants. I miss my skirts and dresses though.
Recently, a lady joined our homeschool group who wears skirts all the time. She looks so feminine and just "natural" in them. I am really tempted to go back to dressing that way, except now my skirts, unless they have an elastic waist band, don't fit. 
I believe I needed to wear those skirts in the beginning though. I know it sounds strange, but our homeschooling was also the beginning of our coming back to the Church. I had alot of "women's rights" views and "Mom's the head of the house" junk going on in my head. For some reason, the physical act of wearing skirts helped me to see the beauty of being a woman as God designed it. I hope nobody takes that wrong. I'm not saying that if you don't wear skirts you're not feminine or a good example of a Catholic woman. I wear pants now and still try to live that out and be a good example, especially to my dd. I just meant that for me, I needed something tangible to get my head in the right place. Hope that makes sense.
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JodieLyn
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Quote:
I needed something tangible to get my head in the right place. Hope that makes sense.
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This makes tons of sense to me Becky. I think that external reminder of how we want/should be inside is VERY helpful.
I've worn dresses only but not out of any conviction. Out of the fact that I simply didn't have much money when I needed clothes.. and since I wear different styles (length) of tops with pants vs skirts.. well, it made more sense to have all my tops be able to go with both bottoms I was able to get rather than splitting them between the two. So I got skirts. I like skirts. I'm comfortable in them and don't feel constrained by them in all but a very very few activities.
So I wear both now. But I do tend to wear long tops over pants. And being pregnant I can now get away with wearing the cute baby doll tunic tops that come to the top of the thigh with capri pants under. It's so comfy. Well, at least it will be when the weather warms up enough
You know one thing I simply love about skirts.. they can have much more useful pockets than pants. So I'm very likely to pick my skirts for things like working in the garden or flower beds.. because I have pockets I can carry a small pair of trimmers in or tuck my gloves into or things like that.
Findign any clothes that I like is always a difficulty. I came to terms with the fact that I probably won't look "put together" a long time ago. I just can't get "stylish". But then my dh wears mainly jeans and tee shirts so I guess I'm ok there I think I manage to not look frumpy but the stylish is out of my reach without help.
But anyway. There have been quite a few threads of people sharing items of clothing and where to get them, sometimes things on sale, sometimes things that are just more affordable anyway. So the ladies here might be a great resource for what to buy and where to find it.
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CrunchyMom
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Becky Parker wrote:
| I believe I needed to wear those skirts in the beginning though. I know it sounds strange, but our homeschooling was also the beginning of our coming back to the Church. I had alot of "women's rights" views and "Mom's the head of the house" junk going on in my head. For some reason, the physical act of wearing skirts helped me to see the beauty of being a woman as God designed it. |
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I agree. Before I started wearing skirts, I wore sweats and sloppy clothes at home. I thought I *had* to somehow? Like my job wasn't important enough to dress up for. Skirts helped me find a sort of respect for my femininity and vocation. If I ever go back to pants, I would not regret the years I've spent in skirts only.
Practically, I also find the sizing on skirts to be much more forgiving to weight fluctuations. I don't need a fat skirt and a skinny skirt. I might have one or two that lie on the outer edges of the spectrum, but mostly, an A-line skirt will allow me to fluctuate a great deal comfortably!
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LucyP
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| Posted: April 07 2010 at 1:55pm | IP Logged
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I guess I don't quite fit what Lisa asked about - I was for some years dogmatically "dresses only". I'm not that bothered about it anymore - in the sense that bare arms, cleavage, painted on clothes bother me at Mass sometimes (shame on me for even noticing!)but trousers on women I don't even notice, and I no longer believe God is angry or sad when women wear trousers. I guess I am now too fat as well as too lazy as well as too poor to make a change to trousers. I definitely don't think I look beautifully feminine or elegant - I only have one skirt at the moment, a very faded and tattered denim ankle length job - but I suppose I am comfortable!
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LeeAnn
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The Indian outfit referred to in an earlier post is called salwar kamheez, a long tunic, loose pants and usually a scarf is included in the set. I have bought a couple on eBay but usually the prints are too distinctively Indian for me to pull off on a daily wear basis. Also the pants are voluminous--like MC Hammer pants! Remember those? :D
My favorite outfit is a knit Land's End dress with knit yoga pants underneath and when it's cold a knit long-sleeve t-shirt in the same solid color as the dress over top of the dress. If you go to my blog, that's what I'm wearing in the top photo. I have one in blue and one in black.
I am currently looking for a similar pair of knit pants to wear underneath the dresses so I can wear them more often. I like how I look and feel in the dress and I get compliments--but I do wear jeans and knit tops all the time as well although I don't particularly like how I look in them. They are just practical working clothes for when that is necessary.
I have read all the usual arguments and books for wearing dresses only and at times I've passionately agreed with them but haven't until recently come across something I felt was a reasonable daily uniform (a habit!) that I could live with long term. I will probably keep my two pairs of jeans for grubbing in the garden etcetera but gradually I am transitioning more to skirts/dresses. However I find that for me this is part of simplifying and minimizing my wardrobe in general and it is a gradual process rather than a sudden decision.
Practically speaking, for those of us who are overweight, I find that wearing some type of loose pants or bloomers under skirts or dresses makes it bearable. I do not dress up. I do not wear pantyhose or tights (other than maybe for a wedding once every few years). I wear sandals with my knit dress most often. I am going for something between the monastic and hippy mama look.
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mathmama
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I would love to wear knit dresses with leggings like my DDs do, but this isn't practical with a nursing baby.
I wish I knew what style skirt looked good on me. I wish I knew what kind of top to wear with said skirt. A top that is flattering, modest, comfortable, and easy to nurse in. I wish I knew what kind of comfortable shoes I could wear with a skirt everyday. I love my Crocs, but fear I would look like a fool with Crocs and a skirt. I have zero (well, actually less than zero) fashion sense. Oh, and once I figure all that out I wish I knew where I could obtain these items at a reasonable price. Clothes shopping is so not fun when you are 4'11" and overweight
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JodieLyn
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Coming back to the OP. I haven't done it so much with skirts.. but I did reliably wear a head covering to Mass for several years. for me it was something I needed the external reminder about.. my dh was often gone and I was there alone with the kids.. and it helped me keep my internal perspective.. but I did find after several years that I needed it less and so I do use one less.
And I think that it would be possible to do the same with skirts.. to use the skirts for a time while that internal attitude/behavior/thought process/whatever you want to call it.. is being formed.. and then to need that external reminder less and so relax it.
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Kristie 4
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My dd wants me to wear skirts more often- she wears them all the time. But I hate to shop and my sewing patience is taken up in her skirts (it is impossible it seems to find nice feminine skirts for a 12 year old- but that is whole other post ). I have a number of church skirts but not any every day ones. I would love to find a good source for some skirts though- particularly long ones as I am quite tall!
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For gaining a better sense of style and what looks nice on you I can't recommend highly enough the book, It's So You by Mary Sheehan Warren. It is out of print, unfortunately, but if you can get your hands on a copy, do! She is a lovely woman and mom to five (I think). She has a beautiful perspective on beauty and femininity and really uses fashion and style as a tool rather than trying to make you a slave to all the trends. I love this book!
I wear skirts most of the time at home and almost always while out. I mainly wear pants (or capris) if I have a lot of hard housework to do. Or I'd wear them for hiking or boating or if I need to wear running shoes. I like looking more feminine and I like that skirts are more forgiving of weight fluctuations but the main reason I wear them is that I like to look nice. When I dress nicely for being home with my family I take my work more seriously and I do feel called to sort of hold back the culture of dumpiness in some small way. We live in the city and walk to daily Mass and many of our neighbors have commented that we always look so nice. I don't mean to personally condemn the clothing choices of anyone here but it makes me sad to go to Mass and see people (on Sunday!) in athletic clothes. Dh is a professor and his students show up to class in pajamas and sweats. So, while I don't necessarily think all women should wear skirts all the time, I do like to sort of "hold the line" at one end of the spectrum by trying to look nice when I'm out.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: dresses only?
