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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Feb 20 2006 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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I am wondering if any of you have had trouble gearing up for a new baby as you have gotten to the end of a pregnancy . With just about two months left, I am still feeling less than enthusiastic about this baby.
Perhaps it is just because this pregnancy has been difficult and life in general has been difficult. I just can't see throwing a baby into the mix. And then of course I feel guilty, as if I am being ungrateful for this gift.
Please tell me some of you can relate!  I am sure that when she gets here, I will be smitten with her, but right now I am just tired and worn-out.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Rachel May
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I hear you. Each pregnancy has been more wearing, had more chronic pain, more hormones. This time I have had basically no interest in meeting this new one which is not how I want to feel. I know I'm ungrateful, especially when I think of all my friends who have not been blessed the way that we have. But I want to spend time with the kids I've had already had, and I am so tired of feeling worn out and run down at 32! The kids have been very excited from the beginning so I have tried to be enthusiastic for their sake, but I'm mostly looking forward to 3 days in the hospital ALONE! 
Luckily my friend was over with her 4 kids the other day, and the 6 m/o who is hating everyone lay soundly in my arms for half an hour. Suddenly the smell and the feel made me excited to meet this one.
Isn't there some quote from St. Paul about having perseverence to finish the race? I need to meditate on that right now!
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Erica Sanchez
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This is so timely, Molly, because for some strange reason I've been feeling a little anxious these past few weeks about the baby actually arriving!! I've never had these feelings before, but I think part of it is that it seems there have been several, if not more, stories of young babies dying and it is just scaring me! We've had no miscarriages, no major health issues...I don't know why I'm even thinking thoughts like this!
I had a somewhat difficult pregnancy with baby #5, physically and emotionally, and reading Kimberly Hahn's, LIFE AND LOVE, really, really helped me! Of course, this little one has been a pure joy to all of us.
Still...I hear you, and Rachel, too! Maybe it is just age. Cash is away during the week now, and I'm sure that is weighing a bit heavy on my feelings/anxiety. You're not alone, and we should keep talking about it!!
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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esperanza
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Hi there Molly 
With my 7th I just couldn't imagine meeting the needs of another dc. I had quite a bit of anxiety about birthing and taking care of everyone's needs (I had two teens going in different directions in the mix and for one it was her first yr attending a school)
With my last lil babe ..I would have this reoccuring thought that made me very upset. I was at the hospital and as soon as he was born (my 1st scheduled C-sec) I just handed him to my dh and told him he needed to take care of him. I wanted to bottle feed because I just didn't want to be so needed. Well, my sweet Elijah was born and I naturally put him to breast and cuddled and we all took such delight in him even though we had just moved into our new home two weeks prior.
The new baby's mere presence puts things into perspective and honestly I have grown to adore and cherish those special moments with a newborn more and more with each new arrival.
Praying for you, Molly that you may experience more peace and joy as you await the arrival of your new little girl 
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In His Peace,
Tammy Gonzalez in VA
dh-Johnny
mom to Tara-'85, Noelle-'88, Jeremy-'91, Elizabeth-'93, Emma-'96, Dominic-'99, Gabriel-'01, Elijah-03
and Jacinta-06
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Martha
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Oh Molly, I know just what you mean! Did you read my post from a few months ago??
It is hard on me too these days. Dh is sooo excited, bless his heart and I'm just raining on his parade.
I find that with each baby I'm getting more and more cranky with medical staff and less and less patient with others in general. 
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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momtomany
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I was very ambivalent when pg with our 9th. With the realization that my 8th child was going to have chronic health problems, I wasn't sure if I could handle it all.
But Leah has been such a blessing. Without her, I think we would have all hovered over John even more and made him quite babyish and spoiled. She leads him around and gets him going and inspires him to try harder with his school work. Not what I would have expected at all. Just shows that God does know better.
As far as the physical goes though, yes each pregnancy was harder due to more and more people to care for. Yet it was a growth experience for the older ones to help out more.
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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Lisbet
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I have to say that I am the most at peace with this pregnancy then I have been since about my 3rd. I don't know what it is, but I am very thankful for it. I am 30 years old, and this is my 11th pregnancy. In previous pregnancies, I've been very anxious, tired, and apprehensive about caring for another person (another soul in my care!!)
I hope you do experience at least a few of these moments of feeling at great peace, even if it's just a tiny sliver, relish it, thank God for it, and continue with what you have to do with great joy and love. (I'm sure you know all this already!!)
God Bless you!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Donna Marie
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Molly! 
I have felt this way too...the last time was the worst..my kids were waaay too independent and making me crazy and my body was having so many problems carrying my little one and it wasn't letting me sleep at all! Keep praying...it will get better...when you see, hold, and smell that beautiful miracle it will get easier...God knows what He is doing and I know that He has a special love for you most especially that you are suffering for His sake. Someone once told me that when we suffer, God the Father sees in us His suffering Son....It is hard being a full time momma to lots of little ones!
When I was having a hard time I would often pray for some of the love that God has for each child and the insight that he has to see into their hearts...and in time it does come! ...and much of the time JUST enough to get over the rough spots. Sometimes I get tested when something wonderful is about to happen. You would think that after this has happened to me over and over I would recognize that and remember that it will get easier...but I am a bit slow...I thank God HE is patient with me...more patient that I can be with myself...lol
I will pray for you...right now as a matter of fact...We will keep you covered in prayer!!
God Love You!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 7dc
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Angie Mc
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Hi Molly,
If I was there with you, I would give you a big hug, ask you to take a nap, do your laundry, and make you your favorite meal! .
teachingmyown wrote:
| With just about two months left, I am still feeling less than enthusiastic |
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When my feelings aren't feeling "right" to me, I shift rapidly to focusing on my behaviors. I tend to have better luck wrestling with implementing right behaviors than wrestling with my feelings! Sometimes, this simple shift helps me to get my feelings on track as well.
Sorry to post and run but just wanted you to know that I'm praying for all the moms of many who are carrying new life within them! May God continue to bless you abundantly.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Feb 22 2006 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
Perhaps it is just because this pregnancy has been difficult and life in general has been difficult. I just can't see throwing a baby into the mix. And then of course I feel guilty, as if I am being ungrateful for this gift.
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I think lots of us can relate. Life can be difficult and there is no doubt that pregnancy can be more than just uncomfortable. The truth is, we are going to suffer. When we professed to be Christian, we agreed to shoulder a cross. And we hope that we are shouldering the cross chosen specifically for us. The difficulties you described are the crosses of our vocation. God promises to give us the grace we need to carry out that vocation with joy. You gotta ask! And you gotta keep asking. Keep turning your life on end and begging God to shower graces in every nook and cranny where you feel insufficient and unhappy.
Sometimes, when the cross feels cumbersome and especially heavy, I call Kim Fry. I know that she understands a household full of mostly boys, an absent father, and my particular temperament. She can empathize. And that's nice. But more than that, I can count on her to remind me that suffering is not optional here on earth and that really, this is not a bad way to suffer at all.
A thoughtful reading down the prayer board reminds me that there are plenty of people suffering in ways where the joy is much less obvious. And then I can offer my real, but relatively less severe, sufferings for all the causes there.
Lissa told me once of her take on counting it all joy, and she even gave me words to pray:
Lissa wrote:
Acknowledge it. Pray, every time the pain hits you: Lord, this really hurts.
I mean REALLY REALLY. And it's kind of hard not to wonder why You're putting
me through it, when you could make it go away. But okay, I know you're in
charge and you must have your reasons. So here's what I need. I'll carry the
pain because you've given it to me to carry, so please help me carry it
cheerfully. And frankly, God, I don't get this oxymoron at all, that I
should count my pain as joy. But if you say so, I'll try. Please help me
smile convincingly? Please help me tuck the pain into a backpack where it
might make my shoulders ache but at least it'll leave my arms free for my
family. Because, you know, they're great and I really am grateful. I'm so
grateful, in fact, that I'd gratefully take half a dozen more. As you well
know. But seriously, thanks for this bunch, and since I can't shine my own
light on anyone right now, if you could just shine out from me, please, that
would be great.
And then you take a deep breath, and you act happy. |
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Angie Mc
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Elizabeth wrote:
Lissa told me once of her take on counting it all joy, and she even gave me words to pray:
Lissa wrote:
Acknowledge it. Pray, every time the pain hits you: Lord, this really hurts.
And then you take a deep breath, and you act happy. |
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Yes. Thank you for connecting the dots with beautiful words. Vocation...suffering/sacrifice...feelings...prayer...behavio rs.
Act happy. Our family calls this "Act as if..." Act as if I'm happy, act as if I'm satisfied, act as if...This is such difficult and purposeful work! I'm grateful to have friends who help me to put words to my challenges, who give me concrete ideas to help lighten the load, and who always point me back to Christ.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Kim F
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I have been thinking about what Angie said all day. I am a firm believer in "fake it til you make it" <g>
I was reading Debi Pearl's book again today and saw a verse that applied -
"Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established." Prov 16:3
So there is a biblical solution for this very problem. If we can focus our actions our thoughts will fall into place. So often if I focus on my thoughts all the rest is derailed. I know the verses about "taking every thought captive" but my thoughts can be pretty hard to reel in sometimes. Somehow this line encouraged me and gave me a *how* to capture those thoughts before they run away with me. I can control my behavior much easier and often by that act of will my mind settles down and my heart softens.
There is also great counsel in her book about all the thoughts that run through our heads each day. I know I have to so be on guard about those especially on exhausting days. (which is what, EVERY day anymore lol!) I try to remind myself its the fatigue talking and refuse to *own* those thoughts. That helps defuse them and sooner or later they fizzle.
God bless you pregnant ladies! You are so blessed even if it doesnt feel that way all the time.
Kim : )
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Angie Mc
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Thanks so much, Kim. I appreciate your input so much that I started another thread at Living Faith so that those who don't come to this forum won't miss it! "Fake it til you make it" is SO much catchier than "Act as if" .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Dawnie
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Elizabeth wrote:
Lissa wrote:
And frankly, God, I don't get this oxymoron at all, that I
should count my pain as joy. |
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This "counting my pain as joy" is hard for me, too. I think that we can count our pain as joy because it usually sends us to our knees. Pain and suffering draw us into prayer and cause us to lean more heavily on God. Me, I'm not such a holy person, and if there were no pain and suffereing in my life, I might never talk to God at all. But I NEED to talk to Him when things get bad. Anything that brings us closer to God is a blessing, and pain and suffering often do that for me. It makes me realize that I'm not self-sufficient, I CAN'T do everything on my own, and, yes, I DO need help. Lots of it.
Dawn
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Ready for another?
