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Wendi DeGrandpr
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 6:07pm | IP Logged
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OK I realize that with Katiana still in Haiti I only technically have three children at home, but I am going to ask for a pass on this cuz I need some help. Those of you with large families are welcome to laugh at me but how in the world do you do this?????? Raef has been home a week. I am loving every minute of this - ok maybe not loving the huge tantrums and all that goes with them, but I just try to put myself in his little shoes. I think I would have a few tantrums of my own if I were him. Anyhow, what I am wondering about is how you all manage your homeschooling when you have a new baby in the house. I can honestly say this is like having a new baby in some cases and a toddler in others. We cannot communicate verbally very well, his sleep patterns are pretty good but he won't sleep unless I am holding him or lying with him. I am not finding time to prepare lessons etc. I had "planned" to do all of that at night while he was sleeping but that isn't working out. Please believe me when I say I am not whining, I just need a fresh view of how to handle this.
my dh worked at home last week but is on the road this week so I don't have backup for driving to practices and appointments etc. I just want to play and go for walks and be outside as much as the weather is permitting, but I also feel like I am not doing a good job with my oldest's school. She is in high school and so the pressure is there - all the eyes were watching and questioning if I could homeschool high school and now they are peering in again to see if I can have little ones and homeschool at the high school level.
"how will you do this???" My only inkling is: by the grace of God.
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God Bless,
Wendi
Mom to four blessings
"We can do no great things - only small things with great love." Blessed Mother Teresa
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momwise
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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Wendi DeGrandpr wrote:
| but I am going to ask for a pass on this cuz I need some help. |
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Dearest Wendy,
You do get a pass. I noticed the weather is bad....rainy and muddy (the other thread), you are waiting for your little ones to come home and you have a new baby???? Goodness, I don't think I wrote lesson plans for months. In fact, dd in high school has to spend an hour on Monday morning writing her own lesson plans  . Read about Mary M.'s ds, who basically read his way into college prep high school. Or if you're like me and your dc don't read that much, get a bunch of books on tape and they can write narrations afterwards. And just have some fun...like lay on the couch and nurse the baby while children read to you.
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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momwise
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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Oh....I just realized the baby is 3 yo...that's o.k., if he has to lie down with you to sleep the advice is still the same. And if he like playing with water, put a big piece of plastic on the kitchen floor and give him a large mixing bowl with a little water and some cool stuff to play in it and you may just have time enough to read or do math with another child.
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Elizabeth
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Real Learning
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 6:47pm | IP Logged
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Dear Wendi,
No pass needed. You have four children; they're not just all under your roof yet. I can't write much tonight so my larger post will have to wait until tomorrow and I know you'll get lots of good advice before then. But I wanted to hit this right away:
Wendi DeGrandpr wrote:
She is in high school and so the pressure is there - all the eyes were watching and questioning if I could homeschool high school and now they are peering in again to see if I can have little ones and homeschool at the high school level.
"how will you do this???" My only inkling is: by the grace of God.
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By the grace of God indeed. And all those naysayers will NEVER understand the way that grace is working even right now when things seems chaotic. Do not think about what anyone else thinks for another minute. If you do, it will be your slow, painful undoing. Been there, done that. Trust me on this one. Turn as often as you need to to the support of like minds and hearts. But don't let the voices of the doubters echo in your head.
So far, you have only one response and it rings so true. Lots of people here will echo Gwen's wise words. It's going to be so much better than fine and your dd is getting an education that can't be planned.
More tomorrow. Now go curl up with that dear boy.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Bridget
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| Posted: Feb 06 2006 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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I was old enough when my parents adopted internationally that this brings back memories. Both times were boys, ages 3 and 5. It was pretty rough for months. My mom said it was much harder than having a new baby.
I was also old enough to help with the rest of the house and kids so my mom could focus on those new boys. I loved it. I was very into what would help them. I planned hours of activities for the other kids, cooked meals, learned to grocery shop etc. Would this be a good time in your older daughter's high school years to learn some very important skills in home management? There is nothing like hands on learning!
It seems like a couple of months of life skills and a pile of good books would be time well spent in high school.
I'm sure the adoptive moms here have more advice. I just wanted to let you know, I remember the adjustment period as rough. But you'll get through it beautifully and so will the rest of your family.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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ALmom
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Helen,
The roughest years are not when there is a new baby. Yes the adjustmenst are there too, but the baby mostly has everybody oohing and aahing and some would say, a bit distracted. But then maybe it was really a breather to realize what was really important. But a baby doesn't get into stuff, walk around and destroy projects, etc. and a baby is basically happy being held and does sleep a lot. An older infant/toddler doesn't do any such thing.
Anyways the rough years are between about 1 1/2 to 3 or 4 when the infant/toddler is getting very mobile, very into exploring and very much in need of mom's playtime and training. Those are the years my dd mostly taught herself. She wasn't much of a reader, (if a book was more than 100 pages, it was automatically rejected), and etc., etc. Our schooling didn't look a bit like what I had envisioned or what anyone else would have probably thought was good - But we did do it. Always seemed like there was a new baby or toddler to spice things up and keep us humble. We didn't have this board at the time so I relied a lot on plans from someone -even if we tweaked.
I guess what I am trying to say is that you have both the new baby oohs and aahs and a toddler all at once so I cannot even imagine how tough it is. But then next year things settle down and if only you knew that ahead of time. Relaxing a bit and just enjoying it all is not going to leave everyone in permanent deficiency mode even if some things slide a bit. I found finding some basic suggestions (lists of reading already put together, etc. so there would be things for dc to do if I was preoccupied with littles). Actually I have found that the most important thing our dd learned was to budget, plan, manage, record and follow her plans. She also learned to ask when she needed help. We also learned to relax on our areas of strength (still doing and documenting for credit (dd did this informally so we wouldn't forget what we HAD done) and just focus on one or two things that we felt were most needed.
We're still adjusting all the time - and it really is by the Grace of God that I don't totally mess things up. So maybe I wasn't the best one to post. The one thing I have finally discovered is that it is more important for me to be a mom than to be a teacher - and funny thing, when I am being a mom, all the dc manage to accomplish so much.
Janet
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Feb 07 2006 at 1:03pm | IP Logged
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ALmom wrote:
The one thing I have finally discovered is that it is more important for me to be a mom than to be a teacher - and funny thing, when I am being a mom, all the dc manage to accomplish so much.
Janet |
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Thank you, Janet, for this. I constantly have to remind myself that being a mom is more important than being a teacher.
I lost a whole year of school when we made a cross country move in the third trimester of my 5th pregnancy (we moved in late January). I know its not the same, but you know what? Everyone is fine. Other than my jr. high child being a tad behind in math (and he will catch up without a problem), no one is worse for the wear. Let your teen do what they can independently, and don't let it stress you out. You can always start over in the Fall, after everyone has adjusted to your new family size and has had a good rest over the summer (and I DO NOT recommend trying to catch up during the summer...that always seems to ruin the new school year).
Grace will carry you through. Some things are more important than gerunds, English compositions and geometry, despite what the "world" would have you think! 
Congratulations!
~Books
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Feb 07 2006 at 1:43pm | IP Logged
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I feel for you. When we adopted our dd at the age of 3 it turned our house upside down. Not that we weren't so very glad she was home with us, but-wow! The temper tantrums were something else! And although she was from the USA, she had never been taught to talk  , so we also had communication issues. I can say, though, that it gets better. It takes awhile, sometimes a very long while (they say about a year for most) but it does eventually get better. Our little dear is now 4 and though there are some residual issues (and there always will be due to her history of abuse and neglect) she has really settled in to the rhythm of our family life.
And Janet is so right about the importance of being a Mom first. School can wait. It can be bumped to the back burner, reduced to essentials, or be suspended for awhile and picked up over the summer. Your little one needs your attention right now in a way that those who have not been through it can only imagine. I hope you have lots of support.
Good luck and hang in there.I'll keep you and yours in my prayers.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Martha
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| Posted: Feb 07 2006 at 3:11pm | IP Logged
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Wendi DeGrandpr wrote:
how you all manage your homeschooling when you have a new baby in the house.
I just want to play and go for walks and be outside as much as the weather is permitting, but I also feel like I am not doing a good job with my oldest's school. She is in high school and so the pressure is there
My only inkling is: by the grace of God.
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(You said I was allowed to laugh!)
Oh hun. What makes you think any of us "manage it all" at all?
I'd give priority to your high school dd getting her own schedule down. Really she's old enough, imo, to take on most of the lessons herself at this point and only comming to you when she really just doesn't "get" a new concept.
Then I'd take a break from the usual home schooling (whatever that is in your house) and do "light home schooling" for a month or so until you find your "adjusted for new addition to the family" groove.
__________________
Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Wendi DeGrandpr
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| Posted: Feb 08 2006 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your responses ... and thank you Martha for laughing - I am trying to do that more. Some days I take myself far too seriously.  I really appreciate all of your insights. I had a talk with the girls about doing things without me "setting" it all up for them. They are on board and I am already seeing the small beginnings of things "just getting done". I think we may be looking a bit like "unschooling" and I am ok with that. Who knows what they might discover during this time. I have always wanted to just let them go and see where we went but frankly I love to plan too much. Well now my hands and arms are joyfully full so off they go.
I will try to make time for oldest dd's math - she struggles so much but she is finally really giving it her all and I applaud her for that.
__________________
God Bless,
Wendi
Mom to four blessings
"We can do no great things - only small things with great love." Blessed Mother Teresa
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Managing it all
