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JenPre
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 10:57am | IP Logged
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If I could ask for a few prayers please!
The baby is SO well behaved and so sweet and precious....I honestly couldn't have asked for a better baby!
But I'm having a little difficulty with the "I just had major surgery and now I have a 4 week early baby to care for and I'm trying to get the hang of breast feeding and Christmas is coming next week" and feeling very overwhelmed today.
I've already dropped most of my plans for Christmas and that is fine...we have the most precious of Christmas gifts right here in the bassinet!
I'm just tired today and sore and overwhelmed with being a new mom to a brand new baby.
Plus I miss my husband. He's here of course and helping out so much. I couldn't ask for a better husband to care for both baby and I! It's just I miss it being the two of us and having the time we used to to talk and hold hands and just be. I know that may sound selfish but that's where I am at the moment!
I'm just waiting for the new "normal" to set in and nothing is overly wrong I'm just a tad sleep deprived and needed a place to come to "vent" and ask for a few prayers!
Thank you so much! 
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Jen
Mommy to Marie-Therese born 12/4/09
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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Oh Jen...I had to come right over and send you lots of !
I went through this same thing right after I had my first...feeling weepy, overwhelmed, a little frightened, desperately missing my husband who seemed to be so strong and soothing for me. We waited 4 years before our little Sweet Pea came along...so there was a big adjustment for me in having to share him with anyone! I think I understand your feelings there so well!
I wish so much that I could pop over for tea this afternoon...sit and fold a load of laundry for you...bring a casserole and a bottle of wine for you and your husband to enjoy together.
So...here's my prescription for you (don't you love how I freely do this though we're states away!)
When the baby is napping, put her down gently in her carseat and bring her in the bathroom while you take a shower. Have a good, long, deep sobbing cry!!!! Condition your hair - I don't know why...it just makes me feel good.  Put on something pretty - practical for nursing, but still pretty. Call your husband and have him stop at your favorite restaurant where you will have called in an order already. Let him pick up a nice dinner and bring home a bottle of wine - a small glass won't hurt you or baby while nursing. Now...don't be tempted to eat as soon as he gets home. Nurse the baby and once she drifts off to sleep, snug her into her carseat right next to you and enjoy dinner with him by candlelight!
UGH! This southern gal feels so helpless down here...this is the best digital casserole and hugging I could do, Jen! I am DEFINITELY praying for you! You're right to be gentle on yourself. It's hard sometimes getting from the knowing and the living of it though. Sending prayers your way!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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DominaCaeli
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 12:26pm | IP Logged
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Jen's suggestions sound heavenly!
I felt really similar after the birth of my first...and she wasn't premature AND I didn't have a C-section. So definitely get yourself as much rest as possible! Your body will eventually heal and you will be able to enjoy that sweet baby without all the stresses of being postpartum. Praying for you!
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Maddie
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 12:35pm | IP Logged
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I am praying for you! Please, pamper yourself as long as you can. You will appreciate it in the long run! Jen's ideas are great. You are on holiday for the next few months, don't try and do too much. Can you put on a good Jane Austen movie? Or another good movie that will make you cry out all those hormones? 
Let your dh do as much as he is willing to, he sounds wonderful! Our dh's really do like caring for us after we've had their babies, they are in awe of the miracle they were a part of and want to be there to experience the new miracle with you.
Wish I could bring you a meal too! Here's a virtual hug though!
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Jen, my prayers are with you today! I can remember so well that difficulty of the first baby and how physically and emotionally hard the C-section was on me! I found that I really needed to take it very easy for about 6 weeks after surgery, and then I began to feel so much better! Only a short while now and you will be out of those woods... Do have a good cry, as Jennifer wisely suggested, and know that you will soon find that new normal. Her excellent ideas for pampering yourself and having a nice candle-lit dinner with you hubby are great, too. You are certainly not selfish to want your own time with your husband; this is the toughest part of becoming a parent...your time is no longer your own. It is very tough on the daddy's, too. This is truly a giving up of one's will and part of the process of sanctification. Also, remember that your hormones are still very wacky and if you continue to feel overwhelmed or very sad and depressed, you should call your OB. God bless you and your sweet babe!
Just a thought...do you have any family or friends around that could watch the baby while you take a nap? Sleep deprivation makes everything seem a lot more overwhelming.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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SusanJ
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I had a C-section with my first. Give yourself at least four more weeks just to physically recover. Pick one or two essential holiday things and just focus on that.
I don't know if this will be encouraging from where you are now but if I could go back and tell my new mom self something it would be, "There is no "new normal." Life is going to be in a constant state of tweaking for a long time! Enjoy each unique season as it presents itself and learn to love the tweaking."
We have always found that just when you think, "I'm never going to have a quiet evening with just my husband again," the baby will start sleeping through the evening. Just when you think, "I'm never going to have time for a shower again," the baby start having predictable morning naps.
Sending lots of prayers your way. Take really good care of yourself and treasure the sweet newborn at Christmas.
__________________
Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Mimip
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
Oh Jen...I had to come right over and send you lots of !
I went through this same thing right after I had my first...feeling weepy, overwhelmed, a little frightened, desperately missing my husband who seemed to be so strong and soothing for me. We waited 4 years before our little Sweet Pea came along...so there was a big adjustment for me in having to share him with anyone! I think I understand your feelings there so well!
I wish so much that I could pop over for tea this afternoon...sit and fold a load of laundry for you...bring a casserole and a bottle of wine for you and your husband to enjoy together.
So...here's my prescription for you (don't you love how I freely do this though we're states away!)
When the baby is napping, put her down gently in her carseat and bring her in the bathroom while you take a shower. Have a good, long, deep sobbing cry!!!! Condition your hair - I don't know why...it just makes me feel good. Put on something pretty - practical for nursing, but still pretty. Call your husband and have him stop at your favorite restaurant where you will have called in an order already. Let him pick up a nice dinner and bring home a bottle of wine - a small glass won't hurt you or baby while nursing. Now...don't be tempted to eat as soon as he gets home. Nurse the baby and once she drifts off to sleep, snug her into her carseat right next to you and enjoy dinner with him by candlelight!
UGH! This southern gal feels so helpless down here...this is the best digital casserole and hugging I could do, Jen! I am DEFINITELY praying for you! You're right to be gentle on yourself. It's hard sometimes getting from the knowing and the living of it though. Sending prayers your way! |
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I just had to quote Jen because I feel the same way:)
I so wish I could just whip up a meal for you and bring it over and help you but alas like Jen, I am in the south as well so a stack of prayers coming your way will have to do!
Lots of Hugs. And remember the shower thing, it really does help to not stink during this time 
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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JenPre
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Thank you all so much for the prayers, support, encouragment and suggestions! They all made me  feeling like I was cared for!
Jen you are so sweet....and I took your suggestion. I called my husband and asked him to pick up pizza from our favorite pizza place. And the sweetheart that he is he picked it up, and then made a big "to-do" about setting up a "picnic" in the middle of the living room for us to share.
And as for showering....he knows that my "routine" is needing a shower in order to relax enough to sleep. And he has made sure that I've been able to get one every night since the baby came. And I can't agree more with you Mimi that it does help not to stink  It's amazing how refreshing a shower can be!
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Jen
Mommy to Marie-Therese born 12/4/09
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SeaStar
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Jen-
The c-section makes everything so much harder. This is your time to just lounge with your baby and enjoy your baby moon
Think meals on a tray in bed, think accepting all offers of help, think asking for meals whenever anyone asks if there is something you need. Pre-made meals are like gold at this point!
But most of all- just enjoy this magical time. You will never have a first new baby again. When the next comes along, you can't savor it in the same way.
There is not that same time available.
It is such a big life change and adjustment... go easy on yourself. We all go through that "feeling cuckoo" stage. But what a lucky little baby you have!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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4 lads mom
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Oh, Gosh, You have been through so much in a very short amount of time...and now the post-partum hormones are kicking in, big time!! Do what mama said, above....she's right!!! Since it worked so well the first time, make it a weekly deal!!
Another thing......maybe keep a little notebook next to your bed.....and write down the best thing of every day.....you will cherish that notebook in years to come....nursing baby, milk drizzling out their sleepy mouth, falling asleep with baby and waking up and everything feeling good for that moment...You will have those moments, I promise!!!
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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Angie Mc
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Jen , my goodness you are so smart to reach out for help and prayer! I was a complete wreck after I had my first baby...I remember it like it was yesterday! I honestly thought that having a baby was going to be easy (I was so cool and all together before I had a baby  ). I'm impressed that you come here *before* the baby was born so that lots of moms here can pray for and encourage you. Just keep reaching out for help, dear.
Do you have any local friends who are in a similar situation?
Praying!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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cathhomeschool
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Jen, you have my prayers and hugs! The transition from none to one is so hard. I remember feeling so alone and clueless -- small baby that cried all the time, no mom or friends or husband around to help. And I didn't have the physical hardships that you've got! And the lack of sleep alone makes me a basket case. But trust that it will get better a day at a time and let your husband help you as much as possible! 
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Paula in MN
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Sending and prayers.
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Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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hylabrook1
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Praying, Jen. The adjustments you are faced with as a brand new mother are often hard to handle, especially with the surgery part added in. You have my complete empathy.
Peace,
Nancy
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: New Baby Prayers
