| Author | |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I am going through a lot of thinking about the whole blog/not to blog issue. I see the dilemma as twofold and I would really value your opinions on the second dilemma:
1. The first dilemma is I believe for me or any individual to discern and pray about and discuss with their spouse and or spiritual advisor - that is whether the blogging will move me closer to God and be done for the glory of God. Also that I will not neglect my God, husband, children, home and real life friends and responsibilities to blog. Also that pride never becomes an issue.
2. The second dilemma is the one I am trying to figure right now - the one of privacy and safety of our families. Is it safe to have our children's names and photos on our blogs? From a personal viewpoint - my blog is my family scrapbook, a tapestry of our lives, which includes liturgical year celebrations and homeschooling plans - it is eclectic and written primarily for my family and extended family and friends. I find it very hard to use pseudonyms. Right now I am considering whether to just keep it private with invited viewers - the problem I have here is that I have many older relatives all over the world who find it too stressful to have to create a google account to view.
I value the opinion of friends on here who have given me ideas - in particular the one of having 2 separate blogs - but this is scary to me as I feel this will increase my online time and also it does not take away the dilemma of what to do with the family photos blog if I do not want to password.
Please would you share with me any insights you may have. A friend sent me this article which I am looking at amongst other things.
Thanks again for anything you can share.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
insegnante
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 07 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1143
|
| Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 8:28pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I don't blog much but I do have some thoughts about this.
I have not posted photos for one reason: early on I found in my referrer stats a link from a p*** search engine! Chances are this was in order to drive traffic to the site and not because any one third party had followed it there, but they claimed they indexed, and I believe, cached, things like Google does. We blocked visitors from that referrer after that, but I never posted pics showing the faces of my little ones because I couldn't stand the thought that someone might be able to see them (which I had not yet posted) who may actually have found my blog through that thing.
But even though there is always that "risk," I don't think other people's judgment that it is fine to post photos on their blog are wrong. I just knew that awful "search engine" had been aware of that particular domain and blog and that's why I didn't want to.
I kind of wish I'd been just plain anonymous, but that's because I'd like to write just a little bit more personally and freely. I use my first name and my kids' first initials. I link to my blog from here which means someone could find my presence here from my blog, and that would make me even less anonymous because of all the little bits of info I have given over the years.
If we're concerned about people who have or may develop an inappropriate interest in us or our families, we need to be aware of all the links we've ever left to our blog and other places where we post, and all the places we've put our full names or email addresses or other identifying info like even our town or our parish or links thereto. If someone's really, really interested, they could search things like different names of our family members and our town, because maybe "Jane John Therese Lucia Aloysius Anytown" is more likely to lead to our blog than just searching the full name "Jane Doe."
It seems to me it's a prudential judgment, your level of concern about somebody creepy becoming interested in your family through your blog. How much higher a risk is or isn't it than if your child were featured in a newspaper or magazine for some accomplishment, and are you and your husband okay with that? What if you were a professional writer? Are women who are profesionally published under their real names, maybe along with some family photos, really taking a less substantial risk than you would with your blog, or is it that the benefits outweigh the risk in their case but not the amateur blogger's? It's such a judgment call varying with individual circumstances I am sure.
And just while I'm on this topic, I gather you, Marilyn, are not concerned about people you know discovering your online presence because you don't post this kind of thing on your blog, but I never, ever post anything outside of a very high level of anonymity (avoiding real names, locations, exact ages, specific education/work info, etc., not linking to anywhere that I do include these things), about my life or especially personal info or opinions/feelings about other people I know that I would definitely not want absolutely anyone to be able to read, on the assumption that people who shouldn't won't be reading it. People have a right to their reputations so it is not just a matter of whether they will be upset if they themselves find it. If I'm not anonymous, the person I'm talking about might not impossible to identify either. Sometimes I'll post something about my own life that I might not be in a hurry to say directly to someone who potentially still could find it -- my opinions, my personal struggles, etc. -- but I am prepared for the small chance that they could. But I really avoid breathing a negative hint about potentially identifiable third parties online assuming they or those who know them will not read it.
And don't get me started on Facebook privacy settings (again, off the original topic.) Please everybody, check your album privacy, especially Wall Photos and Mobile Uploads albums which are autogenerated with the default setting of visible to everyone! Any other album you create has the default privacy setting to everyone, but it seems a lot of people don't change it when given the option at the time of creation. Visible to everyone does NOT mean only to everyone among your friends on a friends-only profile -- it means at minimum to everyone on Facebook -- and it is very, very common for non-friends to be able to click on thumbnails or links to your photos and albums. And "my networks and friends" means lots of people you don't know in most cases.
I hope none of this counts as a hijack  but they just seemed like important related points.
__________________
Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you Theresa for your thoughts - I appreciate your trying to help me out here.
One thought for you - why don't you block search engines - I did on mine.
And you are correct - my blog is for people I know and I only refer to those by name/post pictures of people who I have permission to do so. I have no problem with anyone I know seeing my blog - my extended family do not always agree with my views - but I would not write anything I would not say to someone.
I do not do my space or facebook, cellphones or any of those - I have a high concern for privacy and really do not wish to be available and communicating with others 24 hours a day. I do wish though to be able to write and share details of my family, my faith and my schooling with family, friends and kindred spirits.
I wish there was any easy answer..
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 9:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Another question - for those of you out there who have blogs, post pictures but use "blog names" for your children - why do you do this? Do you feel it protects your childrens' privacy and/or security to a greater extent?
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
insegnante
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 07 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1143
|
| Posted: Nov 25 2009 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Btw Marilyn, I don't have time to reread my whole prior message but hope I made clear that I knew you weren't blogging about the faults or personal information of other people you know or about conflicts with any of them!
I don't block search engines because I wouldn't mind if like-minded people found my blog! Although I just haven't quite been able to develop it into any of the kinds of blogs I was interested in having. For family and friends to see our kids' photos, we have an extensive password-protected website on our own server, and we also have friends-only Facebook profiles where we post some of them for those who might not be close enough to us or have the time to give the password to or keep up with our picture site.
__________________
Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Paula in MN
Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 25 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4064
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 5:58am | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
| Another question - for those of you out there who have blogs, post pictures but use "blog names" for your children - why do you do this? Do you feel it protects your childrens' privacy and/or security to a greater extent? |
|
|
I use blog names, and yes it is a privacy issue. A lot of it had to do with our legal issues, too.
I truly believe that there is no privacy with the internet.
__________________
 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 6:46am | IP Logged
|
|
|
insegnante wrote:
Btw Marilyn, I don't have time to reread my whole prior message but hope I made clear that I knew you weren't blogging about the faults or personal information of other people you know or about conflicts with any of them!
I don't block search engines because I wouldn't mind if like-minded people found my blog! Although I just haven't quite been able to develop it into any of the kinds of blogs I was interested in having. For family and friends to see our kids' photos, we have an extensive password-protected website on our own server, and we also have friends-only Facebook profiles where we post some of them for those who might not be close enough to us or have the time to give the password to or keep up with our picture site. |
|
|
Dear Theresa - I am sorry that I sounded a bit like a prickly pear - I know you and know that you were not suggesting that - you are such a sweet person  I guess I am just a little frustrated by this issue
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 6:54am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Paula in MN wrote:
I truly believe that there is no privacy with the internet. |
|
|
Dear Paula - thank you for taking the time to respond. I believe you have hit the proverbial nail on the head. I guess not many people have responded to this and even if they had, it really is something (like dilemma A) that I have to figure out for myself and with dh - everyone's tolerance for privacy issues is different.
I just want to make sure I understand the possible dangers and then make an informed decision. (eg I had not know about google reader caching until last week)
I am also so trying to teach my children the correct use of technology - that (just like money is not the root of evil, but the LOVE of money is) - technology is good IF used properly and with the correct attitude and education. As I struggle through this dilemma, I think they are getting somewhat of an education that may help them as they get older and have to make decisions about the myriad of technology options.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 8:15am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm ENTRENCHED on blogger and really prefer it, in spite of a few gripes I have about them....but I was thinking of making this suggestion to you, M...what about moving to Wordpress. I have a few Wordpress blogs for various projects. The Wordpress blogs allow you to have a public side and a page that is password protected. You could share your homeschooling experiences and ideas on the public side and offer your family one simple to remember password (they wouldn't need a google account) to access the family side of your blog.
In regards to this issue in general, I have blog names for my children out of deference to my husband's wishes. If I've ever shared my children's real names online it is with his permission. It was his wish as well that I reveal no identifying information as to physical location, images of the front of our home, etc., thus I only offer a general geographic location. I enjoy sharing on my blog and my motivations are simply because I've always enjoyed the format. My husband is really my barometer - if he feels uncomfortable about something he lets me know...and he has done that before. I delete and we move on.
You're right, this is a prudential decision, and in truth peace will only come from a direction offered by your husband after seeking a solution that brings peace for your family in prayer. What seems fine to one family will not bring peace for another. Go with whatever brings your family peace.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 9:06am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you so much Jen for sharing. And Amen to all you say about peace and prudential decisions.
I have considered the Wordpress thing - it just took me so long to get started on blogger and now I have 2 years of blog I would hope to be able to transfer it - just seems to need so much time - but definitely a possible way to go.
We had the same views with privacy except for using real names. Although I never had obvious location indicators - there were posts I had to remove when dh looked at them - eg soccer photos with town name on boys shirts, links to places we went apple picking etc. The ones that neither of us caught were more subtle - eg links to blogs of friends that were local and whose location is well known.
Thanks again for sharing Jen. Lots of prayer ahead for me - and Advent is such a good time to just pull back and focus on our on faith and family.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
insegnante
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 07 2006
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1143
|
| Posted: Nov 26 2009 at 11:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Marilyn, you didn't sound like a prickly pear-- and that sounds great, I keep thinking about calling you and of course things keep on being crazy here. But sometimes you just need to make time. Tomorrow we still have family in from out of town but I'll try to call Saturday and/or Monday, OK? And I can just imagine how much my little girl would like to meet your little girl...
Btw, I'm thinking you might not have gotten more replies than you did because of Thanksgiving
__________________
Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Nov 27 2009 at 10:48am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Here are a couple of former threads:
Blog Pseudonyms
Real Names or Pseudonyms
2 blog questions
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Feb 10 2010 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Paula in MN wrote:
I truly believe that there is no privacy with the internet. |
|
|
Just thought I would resurrect this for anyone thinking of starting a blog (seeing I have had a lot of questions recently). I could write a book on the subject, "The Things I Wish I Had Known Before I started blogging"
One of the things I wish I had known - was about google reader - if you are at all concerned about privacy you need to restrict people being able to read you on google reader. This was one of the things that really concerned me when I was discerning blogging.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Is there a solution?...
