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Jenn Sal
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| Posted: Oct 31 2009 at 7:38am | IP Logged
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I heard of someone in my community who had a 14 week miscarriage. The priest is going to have a Mass said, but the undertaker needs a death certificate for the buriel. The doctors told her they won't give one unless the baby was at least 20 weeks. Any information on how they proceed would be helpful for this woman and her family. Quote: "We don't want anything fancy, just the proper sacramental procedures for the remains of a brief human life."
Thank you!
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Jennifer, Texas
Wife to Mark, Mom to Cora 13,Kade 10, Sarah in Heaven 12/05, Colette 7, Corin 5, & Kieran 2
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MaryM
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| Posted: Oct 31 2009 at 10:14am | IP Logged
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There are a couple threads from the past on the topic of burial for miscarried babies which might be helpful for options, though maybe not answering the specific question needing a death certificate.
Catholic burials/miscarriage...help?
Honoring Miscarried Children
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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mrsgranola
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| Posted: Oct 31 2009 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
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Jennifer, I'm replying to the person who needs the information, also, but I wanted to let you know up here that Our Lady of Guadalupe (my parish) has a special reserved section of the cemetary for babies. ANother homeschool mom's baby was just buried there Friday. My nephew helped to do this as part of his Eagle Project for Scouts. Newton Grove is one of the few Catholic cemetaries in this state (NC).
HTH!
JoAnna
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AndieF
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| Posted: Oct 31 2009 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
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I don't know if varies state to state or just hospital/doctor, etc., but when we lost our son, Christopher, at 18 weeks in March 2008, we were given a death certificate and we had a small funeral. He is buried in a local cemetary in a section reserved for babies.
Gentle hugs to the mother and the family.
Andie, mom to 3 on earth and 3 in heaven.
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Maggie
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| Posted: Nov 02 2009 at 12:21pm | IP Logged
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Jenn,
That is ridiculous that the undertaker is requiring a death certificate. My first thought is this: find a new undertaker who respects your desires and wishes and is willing to work with your friend without giving them further hassle during this difficult time...or don't use one at all (there is not a need if you do not cremate).
I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks...no undertaker...saved my remains and had the baby buried at our parish that has a columbarium (looks like a garden with a lot of stones...but it is reserved for only cremated remains). For our own reasons, we did NOT want to cremate (nor could we afford that)...our parish spoke with the Diocesan Canon Lawyers, and we were told it was permissible to bury a miscarried baby in a columbarium.
Also, we had no need to secure anything for legal purposes from the county. Because our country does not recognize "life" in the womb, they don't recognize the death either...therefore, the county told us we could do whatever we wanted, which I imagine is the case for you, too...I don't think any state legally recognizes life that early, as silly as it is.
Please have your friend contact Elizabeth Ministry for all the specs on what to do.
We bought a tiny vault from there to bury our baby in...that is a tiny fraction of the cost of what an undertaker charged our friends. We had one set of friends charged $1000 and another charged $500..I know money is a horrible thing to talk about at a time like that...but for us, it was also a real concern, as I imagine it is for other families, too. We would have paid anything we needed to...but were disgusted when told initially that burial + vault would be about $1500...
Our church donated a small plot to us, which was so nice...
Call other Catholic Churches/cemeteries in the area. I had a priest at another parish tell me that even though the cemetery was technically "full"--he would certainly find a place for my baby...he said he would see to it personally...so you never know what is out there...it was important for us to have our baby on Hallowed ground...and I think a lot of churches would be willing to accommodate...and who knows...maybe your friend will start a trend...maybe her loss will allow room for a new cemetery...or a baby cemetery to be built.
In our case, we are the first to request the burial for a miscarriage in our diocese (which shocked me!), and now, there is a protocol set up for moms who miscarry in the future...
Such a painful time...but also a time of grace.
My prayers are with the mom and family. That is so hard.
God Bless,
Maggie
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Funeral for miscarried baby
