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iremembermomma
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| Posted: Jan 23 2006 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
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I so enjoy the 4 Real Learning bulletin board and have received so many good ideas and advice just by lurking. I have yet to see my question / problem and I hope there will be some good advice for me.
Neither my husband nor I went to college. We are both from families who did not emphasize education and were content to let their local public schools raise their children. I will spare the details of our childhoods, but in short, our parents did not lead moral lives which effected our upbringing and choices. The horror stories you hear about public schools, I can vouch for firsthand as true in my case. Drugs, smoking, skipping school, stealing, promiscuity, and even to my greatest regret an abortion (which the school nurse helped me cover up).Then at 17, I got pregnant again and decided to have the baby. I took one look at that child and vowed to give him a better life than mine. Three years later while on a quest for absolute truth, I discovered the Catholic faith. My husband also converted shortly after I did. We decided to homeschool because we figured private school was out of the question financially, and we could do at least better than public school with the resources available and the children had a better chance at keeping the Faith staying at home with us. Keeping them home seems so natural to us now, I can't imagine sending them away to someone, but I do struggle with self-doubt because of my lack of education.
So, my question is: Where do moms like me fit in? Everyone I have met has graduated from college and had a profession they were trained in, had a life before children and marrige, and can't understand where I am coming from. I went from 17 year old high schooler to wife and mother.  I am trying to hs our children but I barely finished high school! Am I just a complete misfit? I am grateful for how far my husband and I have come, it was a miracle. But we still have so much to learn and can hardly do so at the pace we live with babies arriving every few years and struggling to make ends meet because of a lack of education. Poor education=poor choice of jobs.
I should say we use a mix of Seton/ CM/ MODG, and I buy any good video instruction for subjects like Math , Latin, etc.The lesson plans are a treasure for moms like me and I have learned so much teaching my children. I am trusting in God for their education, they are avid readers as we have a huge family library. We pray together daily; Rosary, Morning Evening prayers, extra Masses, Angelus, etc., so they are getting the faith.
Are there any other moms out there like me?
__________________
Wife &
Momma to 7 dear ones
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MaryM
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iremembermomma wrote:
| So, my question is: Where do moms like me fit in? Everyone I have met has graduated from college and had a profession they were trained in, had a life before children and marrige, and can't understand where I am coming from. |
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While it may seem like it because it might not be discussed much, homeschool parents do really come from a wide-variety of personal educational backgrounds/life experiences. Even though I did graduate from college I never had a "career" or even a job for that matter - my oldest was born during my last few weeks of school. As a new mother, the first person who I ever really knew who homeschooled sounds much like your experience - she had married right out of high school, didn't go to college. She was an inspiration to me in the education of her children and one of the reasons I considered it myself. I know there are others here and hopefully they will join in the discussion.
I was reading recently that 50% of homeshooling parents have a college degree. That means half do not - that is significnat to me. The same article was also talking about the biggest factor to student success in education is parent involvement. For those who question whether homeschooling is a best educational option for children they truly can't get around the fact that homeschooled children tend to do very well. They then often will attribute it to the fact that the parents are very involved and those children would have done well where ever they were educated. We know that isn't all there is to homeschooling , but it obviously is a huge piece. You truly are doing a wonderful job because you care and are involved and you find your resources.
iremembermomma wrote:
I should say we use a mix of Seton/ CM/ MODG, and I buy any good video instruction for subjects like Math , Latin, etc.The lesson plans are a treasure for moms like me and I have learned so much teaching my children.
I am trusting in God for their education, |
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That's what is so great about homeschooling in today's world. There are so many materials and resources available that help make it possible for us to really do a good job educating our children even if we aren't knowledgeable in particular areas. I have learned so much teaching my children (or in many cases relearned, because so much didn't stick even though I did learn it at one time). It's funny becasue one of the main things I hear from non-homeschoolers is I could never do that - "I don't know enough - I'm not smart enough." How little they know about how little that matters. Your dedication to giving your children a strong moral and education foundation will be a shining example to them of the importance of both faith and knowledge. It sounds like there is a love of learning in our house.
God bless - I'm glad you brought up this topic.
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Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Erin
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iremembermomma,
You are truly an inspiration and credit to yourself and God's grace. What an amzing journey you have had.
I really wouldn't worry about your lack of college education, you sound like you are doing a great job spiritually and academically by your children. And you already have realised the secret to 'what to do if you don't know.' You find resources to help you.
To answer your question as to whether there are other mothers out there without college degrees, I am one. Do I feel a lack of this? No. I believe learning is always happening if I am open, I have self educated myself in many ways and continue to do so. I can articulate well and generally think well, I hope  To me this is the greatest gift that my mother passed to me. She encouraged us to read and think and speak correctly and articultely. Boy can we all do that well.  My dh has 2 university degrees and I never feel in any way at a disadvantage, after all I know many things he doesn't particualry Church History and other Faith issues (thanks to my mum). We just know and are talented in different areas.
The only thing I have ever thought about is due to his degrees my financial earning capacity is far less than his. That's why I send him out to work. Anyhow I tell him does he realise how much cheaper it is to have a wife! Without me his childcare costs, edcuation costs, housekeeping, etc would be enormous. He saw my point.  We didn't discuss the fact without me there wouldn't be children.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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MEBarrett
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I don't think there is any education background that can really prepare you for homeschooling your children. So don't worry about it.
I will never forget my brother's reaction when I told him I was taking my kids out of school to homeschool. He laughed and laughed and asked me who was going to teah them math because I was so terrible in math in school. He is right - I was. In spite of graduate school and a successful career in an investment bank (yes a bank) I was really, really bad in math. Always.
I manange ok now.
I think that what all the homeschooling parents here have in common is the desire to give their children the best of themselves and to lead them on the path that God has planned for them. You seem to have that covered. Your lack of education really doesn't matter at all. You will learn and grow along with them and together you will make a beautiful journey.
I think your kids are pretty lucky to have parents who are willing to take on something so foreign to their upbringing and experience just to give them the best that life has to offer.
I think you are going to be really good at this.
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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine
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Bridget
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Let me tell you about my cousin. He and his wife married at 18 and 19. He was a bad boy. Wild, dropped out of high school. She barely graduated. They married against both families' wishes. They partied and lived in the most beat up little trailer you ever saw. It was not promising for them.
Then they got pregnant with their first. They fixed up that little trailer and sold it for a profit. Started going to church. He got a steady factory job. Bought a cute, little house. Had another baby. Fixed up that house and sold it for a profit. Bought an old farm house. Had another baby.
She learned to raise chickens and goats. Spin wool. Sew. Bake bread. Garden. He started his own business installing gutters. He takes his job as the family head and spiritual leader seriously. He worked hard to learn how.
Because they hated school themselves, they decided to homeschool. Oh my gosh, their children are getting the best education!
They are 16, 14 and 11 now. (Unfortunatly they are unable to have more.)
The family just sold the gutter business and bought a restaraunt. They all work in it. They just sold their farm house and built every stick of the most beautiful new house themselves. Complete with an apartment for his mother who came to live them. The kids worked right along with their parents to build it.
I am so proud of my cousin and his family. They are such an inspiration.
Momma to 7 dear ones, you sound like you are doing a great job! College is not necessary for a successful life and certainly not necessary to live faithfully and homeschool.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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momwise
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iremembermomma wrote:
| Are there any other moms out there like me? |
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I should say so! I barely finished public high school(and it wasn't because I studied a whole lot). My h.s. education was classic values clarification and s*x ed, with a lot of remedial courses thrown in  . My dh and I married when I was 19 and I had my first child before I was 20.
Even then I was not that involved in the faith. As a cradle Catholic with no catechesis I actually waited 7 mos. to have my poor ds baptized because I didn't realize there was a real effect at baptism.
I always stayed active in the pro-life movement, which is where I found out contraception was wrong (specifically it was from Fr. Marx) and I always could read well, which must have led me to have the crazy idea that I could homeschool my kids. My oldest was in public school until he was 12 and my 2nd ds was 8.
My conversion didn't come until I was in my early 30's. My dh has grown in grace and virtue through the Sacrament of Marriage but he's not Catholic.
So there you have more than I've ever posted on any list before. It is difficult sometimes because homeschooling is a field of exceptionally well educated people and we live in a culture that looks down upon a lack of a college degree or "important" career. I did take some Community College writing and speaking classes when my ds started homeschooling which gave me a lot of confidence.
Across the world the Holy Spirit is calling on every conceivable kind of person to spread the Gospel and He wants your children to be among them!!! How awesome is that??? If our children remember to follow God's plan for their vocation He will make up for anything we are lacking.
Successful homeschooling comes from allowing God's graces to shape your day and your life. The Holy Spirit has allowed me to "know" so many things I never learned from another person. It's a miracle  ...yeah!!
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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momwise
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Bridget wrote:
| She learned to raise chickens and goats. Spin wool. Sew. Bake bread. Garden. |
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Bridget, your cousin and his wife sound like such a cool family. The great thing about God is how he uses us in the present. Once we put our lives in His Hands there is not Jew nor Greek..........
__________________
Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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Cheryl
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I personally think that college degrees are overrated. My husband has a finance degree and I am sure that he learned how to run his business by doing it. I have 2 college degrees, yet I never had a "career." I worked in a factory, then in an office, going to school while working. I took 11 years to get my degrees and I as soon as I was finished I became a stay at home Mom. I think that being a mother is the best job/career for me.
I should add that one of the reasons I'm so attracted to homeschooling is because I was a person who crammed for tests and did papers the night before they were due. I got A's, but I don't remember much of what I crammed. The grades were more important to me than actually learning the material.
I totally agree with what Mary said about parents being involved with their children's education. My brother married young, and he and his wife had their first child when she was 18. Neither of them have college degrees. Their children are doing great academically and in other ways and I'm sure it's not because of the public schools that they go to. My brother and his wife are very involved in their children's lives.
Also, the 2 women that first sparked my interest in homeschooling do not have college educations. They just love being with their children. Well, my children need me now, so I have to go. I really appreciate your honesty. It sounds like you and your husband are doing very well. I know sometimes I feel like I'm different from other homeschoolers in my area. I don't have any Catholic homeschooling friends yet. I have Catholic friends whose kids are in school, and homeschooling friends who are not Catholic. I hope someday I will meet some, but for now I hang around with people I'm comfortable with and I try not to compare myself to others too much.
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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Sarah
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You are so good to pursue the Truth and give yourself to providing a better life for your kids.
While I do have a college degree, honestly, the material I learned hasn't helped me home school. I'm starting from ground zero on most everything. . .I actually have to undo some of the very liberal and incorrect ideas I learned in college.
The woman who was the most inspirational to me during my college years, a very intelligent homeschooling mother, did NOT have a college degree.
Don't appologize for it. Also, people out there don't need to know about that fact. Its none of their business-the road you been down. . . Well done! 
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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ALmom
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Ditto about a college degree being overrated. My sister married out of high school - a semester early and never went to college. Her husband had just graduated from high school as well and neither had made the best grades in high school. I don't think my sis read a single book in high school (she always conned me into telling her about the book and then writing her reports from my telling). My sis's husband's first job was as a baker in a restaurant. Then he went back to school - had to take remedial courses(actually folks tried to talk him into the jr College first route but my sis convinced him that he was "smart" enough if he wanted to go University from the start (which is what he did). He now has a masters in engineering. He was always taking finals as my sis went into labor with the next baby. I'm sure he really had to work hard - but they are awesome. I remember going to his graduation for the masters and seeing his wife and 8 or 9 dc there to cheer him on. They are the reason he did it! He also taught my sis and the rest of us girls how to cook .
I have a college degree (math and history) but when it comes to teaching the dc, I had to relearn everything anyways. All that the college degree did was make me feel smart for a few years until I finally realized that college taught me how to memorize and play the game to get the grades - nothing else really. Then with a little humility, we could begin to learn. You and my sister didn't have to worry about the first step - humility was already there. My sister asked her kids a lot of questions as they were homeschooling just trying to figure out what they were doing - but it was a very natural kind of discussion for her which very naturally respected her dc and got them into thinking and engaging in what they were learning because she was trying to understand it. They also had to really support papers and write clearly - otherwise my sis had no idea what they were talking about. I didn't know the first thing about how to get a discussion going and still have to really work at that. I also have to ask my sis to help me proofread my dc papers. She is much better at it than I am.
When I want advice on how to help my dc with their school, or how to teach a subject, I always ask my sis!
She is one of the best homeschoolers I know - and yes, when dc get to high school she does farm out some subjects either with Seton, or a local tutor. But then again, so do I. Even with a Math degree, I cannot teach upper level math. I didn't understand it well enough to teach it. And even in the younger grades she wants lesson plans - but so do I. I think it has more to do with the number of dc we have and the time factor than with whether or not we have college degrees.
Don't even worry about no college degree. Have fun with your dc and learn along with them. You may be surprised at how many folks (with college degrees) will come knocking at your door for help with how to teach. My sis still thinks it funny that I ask her - but she has the real experience!!!
Janet
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theNetSmith
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by posting your story here, you are inspiring others (like myself) who have the privilege to read it.
your faith, coupled with patience, persistence, and a willingness to learn right alongside your children will overcome your doubts. you'll see.
thank you so much for coming forward and sharing with us -- AND -- do not be ashamed to ask any question you may have. there is such an incredible mix of wonderful, knowledgable, helpful homeschooling mothers (and fathers!) here, and they are all here with the same goals you have -- to give their children the very best education possible with the support of Christ and each other.
can't tell you how many times i see the college-educated moms beginning their posts with "this is probably a really dumb question, but..."
-Tim
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Jen L.
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theNetSmith wrote:
by posting your story here, you are inspiring others (like myself) who have the privilege to read it.
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I couldn't agree more. Your post along with all the responses have really been an amazing read.
Thanks!
__________________
Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Parents without college education
