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MindyG
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
I'm sorry to bring up such an unpleasant topic, but my dd2 yrs needs some help!
For months I thought my daughter was constipated, but it has been clear for a couple of months now that it is not constipation, she is just deliberately withholding her stool.
The situation has become very unpleasant and I feel I've tried quite a bit. She becomes miserable and very difficult to deal with as time goes on. Usually she will only have a bm about every 3 to 5 days. When she actually "goes" it seems effortless (and it usually happens when she is suddenly distracted by something). Otherwise she spends 1 to 3 days dancing around and trying visibly as hard as she can to hold it in and being very whiny.
She's adverse to sitting on the potty and has been refusing liquids including juice and fruits that normally help her (and that she used to love, until I started pushing her to eat more...). We don't eat junk food and I've scaled back on dairy, so I really think her diet is fine. The stools are always soft enough. The problem truly is her behavior.
We saw her ped though, and his only suggestions were diet control (no help) and 1 tbsp of mineral oil. I have been giving her a tsp of flax oil. Dr. Sears recommends flax oil over mineral oil, but I'm not sure 1 tbsp is safe. Any one else know? And any other suggestions?
I've tried suppositories - didn't help and now she hates to have her diaper changed and fights me about it. A friend suggested using milk of magnesia (worked with her daughter), but the directions say to drink 8 oz of water with it, and I don't think I can convince her to drink that much.
My last conversation with the nurse at my ped's office was to make drinking a disciplinary issue - she has to drink this or that or be punished somehow. I think that is ridiculous with a 2 year old.
I'd be grateful for any insights you may have,
Mindy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
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It may be an emotional issue over a physical one.. if that's the case then all these meds and things probably won't help. I have a friend say that one of the Bach Flower Remedies (like a homeopathic) worked well.. I'm thinking it was black walnut but you'd want to check what each is for to know for sure.
I haven't used the single flower specific rememdies but I have used the Rescue Remedy and it really helps.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 1:43pm | IP Logged
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here's the link to the home page for Bach Flower Remedies
and it looks like walnut is what helps with transitions
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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I am sorry you have to deal with this. But it is common at this age. I'd say to not make a big deal of it all and she will figure it out. She is doing what 2 year olds do.
I agree that what the pedi nurse said is a little ridiculous.
Some ideas:
Leave sippy cups out with liquids she likes (sorry if you just gave the cups up, I just can't see spills right now  ). Encourage eating within meal and snack times, foods good for moving things along. No pressure. She is not going to starve herself.
Set up a "routine" for relaxing and not letting her know you are encouraging the BM. Curl up with a book or video at a certain time of the day--if she is still in diapers. Or if movement works, play tag and allow some relax time for her to go behind that favorite chair for privacy. You know how she works. I would try to encourage that "diversion BM".
You might consider going backwards if she is potty trained.
I wouldn't want her to know what you are doing but work with her to being healthy-if ya know what I mean.
Just some ideas. Take them for what they are worth. I usually go with the kid a little and work with them on these types of issues. Give them a little control and it works out in the end. There really isn't much you can do when it comes to this type of stuff. She is not going to go to college with this issue. They do have the control over some things as my old doc said :)
Did anything change in the household? Move, baby, guests, anything off routine? That might give you a key as to what you can do to help her through and get things back on track.
My story with these types of issues, to make you feel better  , my ds took until 5-ish to fully potty train. He had #1 pretty well down for years, but #2, was a battle. It had something to do with his uncomfortableness with BM's and his milk allergy. A dear friend mentioned just putting a diaper on him and sitting him on the toilet for BM with diaper on. I carried a diaper around for BM's for about 2-3 years! He truly had a hard time with it when 3-ish. I went back to my dear friend and said, "OK, we're on the pot, with a diaper and in underwear the rest of the time. Suggestions for getting rid of the diaper?" She told me to cut a hole in the diaper so he could get the falling out sensation. Ever tried to cut a hole in a disposable diaper? Quite humorous and I have been giving her a hard time since. But, we worked with it when he was 5-ish and able to communicate well and reason, and we got through it.
Way more than you needed to know I guess.
Hope something there helps.
Anne
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Maddie
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 1:52pm | IP Logged
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Instead of disciplining her for not going make a big deal out of her going #2? Act really excited about it and give her a special treat making sure she knows it's because she went?
Every time she doesn't go #2 act disappointed, I would say, "Oh rats, Susie! I thought you went poopie this time! Maybe next time and then we can have M&M's! Good job going #1" or whatever you call it.
Good luck!
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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MindyG
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 5:50pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for your replies!
I think the problem started when I weaned her...can't reverse that one unfortunately :) She handled it very well, but I think that nursing was a large part of her liquid intake and she really doesn't like to drink much. But even so, I know I mentioned above that her stools are fine.
The problem really is that instead of relaxing and pottying, when she gets the feeling to go, she has developed the reaction of holding on and not going. I really don't think that she is aware that she is "trying not" to poop. I think it just a reaction that she has, that has now become a habit.
Anyway, if anyone else has an idea, I'm happy to hear it :) Thanks again ladies!
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 7:05pm | IP Logged
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MindyG wrote:
Thank you for your replies!
I think the problem started when I weaned her...can't reverse that one unfortunately :) She handled it very well, but I think that nursing was a large part of her liquid intake and she really doesn't like to drink much. But even so, I know I mentioned above that her stools are fine.
) Thanks again ladies! |
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Ah, yes. I remember weaning my dd at 4(It just happened that way  ) and my being so uncomfortable for a week after. I was sure she wasn't getting anything, or much-HA!!
And reading your thoughts brought back a small memory of my dd having a little problem/difficulty with BM after weaning. Not as big a deal. Maybe a week of not being "right."
Anyhow, breast milk is good for moving things along so maybe she just needs to figure it out? A bm feels a little different to her?
You both will figure it out I am sure. Hang in there!
Anne
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mathmama
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| Posted: Oct 15 2009 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
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My mom would stick me in a warm bath and then leave the room. She said very quickly she would hear me jump out of the tub and get on the potty. Of course, I wouldn't recommend leaving a 2yo alone in the bath, but perhaps you could put her in the bath and sit there and read a magazine or something and pay no attention to her. It might be just enough to relax her.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: potty difficulities
