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SusanJ
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 8:29am | IP Logged
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I put this here rather than in the prayer forum because a distant acquaintance has written to me for advice. Her baby has been diagnosed with a serious medical problem at 27 weeks gestation. Doctors think the baby could maybe live but aren't hopeful and she is struggling with how to make decisions regarding when and how to intervene, etc.
She wrote to me because our son had serious medical problems at birth as well. But I don't feel really equipped to help because with our son there was very little chance he wouldn't live. But I'd like to help her if I can during what must be a tremendously difficult time.
Anyone here have experience with this? Books to recommend? She is Christian but not Catholic. Thanks in advance and feel free to pm me. I know this can be hard to discuss.
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
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[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Paula in MN
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I have no advice, but I will pray for you to be able to help her any way you can, and for her to have the strength needed.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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Waverley
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Waiting with Gabriel by Amy Kubelbek is a wonderful book. The book tells the story of how the author and her family came to terms and lived with the diagnosis that her unborn son would not be able to survive once born. Indeed, Gabriel lived for only a few hours after birth.
I have given this book to 2 friends who knew their children would not survive after birth. I am the parent of a child who was born still. The book was a blessing to each of us.
I am so sorry for your friend and will keep her in my prayers.
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Waverley
wife to Dh for 19 years, dd (16), dd (11), dd (8), ds (6), dd (4), dd (9-13-1996)
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MrsM
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I had a similar diagnosis with my last baby (who is now a healthy, happy 2yo), and what was really helpful to us was prayer. We were desperate for it, begged for it, and were so happy when people offered it.
For me, it took me a while to get to the point where I could say "God's will be done" and really MEAN it. But that's what brings peace, knowing that His will is always for the best, and we really can trust Him.
I will pray for your friend!
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Lynn in California
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cheesehead mom
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Susan-I would encourage her to be seen (or at least have a meeting to discuss the diagnosis) with an OB or Fmaily practioner from popepaulVI institute or one more soul. SOmetimes a pro-life doc will give a different perspective as well as some more moral options that will help with their discernment.
pope paul vi trained medical consultants in the US:
http://www.fertilitycare.org/mclocations/usa.htm
I think one more soul is onemoresoul.com
Laura in WI
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Oct 07 2009 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
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Thanks for the suggestions, ladies. I will pass them along. And all your prayers are appreciated as well.
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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seven2hold
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Susan,
Your friend is struggling with how and when to intervene. Does this mean there is a medical procedure the doctors can perform to improve the baby's chance for survival?
Our little girl had Trisomy 13 and we were told at 20 weeks that she would probably not survive the pregnancy. There was no medical procedure that would have helped her in any way. She was born still at 34 weeks.
Because there was nothing we could do medically we just prayed for her and embraced her just as God had created her.
I would remind your friend to cherish ever moment with her precious little one. She and her baby and their family will be in my prayers.
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Kathy
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SaraP
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www.benotafraid.net
Prayers for your friend. 
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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stefoodie
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no advice, but praying for your friend and her baby.
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stef
mom to five
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Oct 19 2009 at 1:36pm | IP Logged
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I know some of you are praying for my friend so I thought I should offer an update.
The baby was born Friday morning via C-section after spontaneous onset of labor at 29 weeks. She was able to be stabilized but was deemed too medically fragile to undergo the extraordinary amount of surgery that would have given her only a chance at life. The baby died with her parents Saturday evening. I'm sorry for the lack of names but I just want to respect privacy.
I was able to offer, I hope, some encouragement and counsel during the last few weeks. The parents are not Catholic but do believe in infant baptism. I suggested they consider this for their daughter and they were able to find ministers they knew to administer the sacrament in the hospital which was a great comfort to them.
The family was being given some very "culture-of-death"-tinged advice, in my opinion, but I do want to assure you that the family's decision does seem to be inline with church teaching in this case.
Thanks for your prayers.
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Mackfam
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I'm glad you updated, Susan. I've been praying for them. I've walked this difficult road. My prayers continue! I'll be asking my little St. Matthew to intercede for the family during this time especially!
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Jen Mackintosh
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MrsM
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Susan,
Thank you for the update. Your friend and her family continue to be in my prayers.
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
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Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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Booksnbabes
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So sorry for your friends' loss. Continuing prayers for the family. 
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: friend with bleak in utero diagnosis
