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albeto
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| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
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Today my kids got up dog-tired. They're squirrelly and wiggly and loud and rambunctious. Not in a bad way, but certainly in difficult-to-concentrate day.
I'm torn. Should we shlep through the day, teaching the value of concentration and self-control, let them experience the consequence of choices (we're having lunch late because we had snack late because we got started late...), the day will be long and frustrating for all ofus. If we do all our subjects scheduled for today, they'll be working until dinner time. Will that kill the impetus to learn or teach them to pay attention better next time? I think both are very important.
If we call it a day instead, go for a walk, stop at the park, get silly and enjoy life, learning at home will be more fun and not like school-at-the-kitchen-table kind of experience I really don't want to give them. Or will it condition them to be squirrelly to get out of work again and again? We're starting homeschooling later in their academic career. My 4th grader is the youngest any one has stayed home. The others came home in 6th. (They're now in 9th and 7th). As much as I love the Charlotte Mason kind of day, are they too old for that? Will it give them the skills they'll need in college?
And how do you keep track of what you've done? Rather than a daily schedule, a log of each subject?
We've learned we can't really take summer off. Well, most of us can, but oldest ds can't. Too much free time is disastrous for him. But he's in 9th grade now and can't really afford to not learn self control. But he has Asperger's which means he learns these kinds of skills at a different pace.
But
But
But
I'm torn.
Thoughts?
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JodieLyn
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Why choose one or the other?
Why not just switch from a full day to a partial day and do those things that are most important that they not get "behind" in.
And maybe if you're afraid you'd take too many "it's just a day" days.. you could give yourselves a set number of days to use.. then it can't become an everyday thing but a special thing with a finite number.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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albeto
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| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Why choose one or the other? |
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Because as much as I love spontaneity, I can't be trusted without a plan. 
I do like your idea. I wonder if I can make that work.
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julia s.
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It is kind of funny you posted this today because we had a change of pace day here. We did nature journals and a learning game and they had to make progress on their books for their book club.
I've tweeked the schedule so much this year trying to make plans for the future so we don't have to catch-up when I want my children to be getting ahead, but still trying to keep our schedule realistic for the amount of energy that I and they have during the day.
This year I only plan on doing "school" four days a week and incorporating more fieldtrips than we have in the past. Also allowing more time for social gatherings with other homeschoolers too.
As for all out skipping a day I'd say if you, the mom, were becoming frazzled or angry with them then I'd say I'd rather they miss a school day then be subjected to my bad behavior. Usually if this happens we go for a nature walk. We keep walking until I feel calmer.
If skipping the day is going to cause you to feel like a failure I'd say do it. It is better than feeling awful about something that in essence was just a few hours of work.
I have more thoughts, but it is bathtime and my husband just got home so I'm going to have to stop there.
It isn't an easy answer and even people who've been at it for years still debate this.
Hope your day went well whatever you chose.
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julia
married to love of her life
with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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mom2mpr
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I am struggling with the same type of issue. I have been trying to put a little more discipline in our days, yet, long for those days when ds was younger and we could play a lot.
I decided, that is one of the joys of this lifestyle. To take a day off when needed.
I was going to track our days this year to see if we come close to the 180 the schools do and maybe we can relax in the summer (because it is so short). We usually school year round. So, in some homeschool tracker I put my desired start and end dates, time's off I knew about (my parents' 2 week visit in November, holidays, vacation,etc.)and was sad to learn we could not be done in June.
But,alas, I spoke to a few people, not even discussing this issue who reminded me, the schools spend a week or so ramping up, reviewing, teaching everyone the routines, they have a few field trips, assembly days, snow days, sick days, substitute teachers, and the last week or so are nothing. Oh, and testing.
So, I decided, I'll do the best I can. And someone here had a thread on taking a teacher planning day. I liked that!
Hope that helps you feel a little less guilty
Anne
PS-and for records, which I legally do not have to keep, I have a teacher planning book and try to write down what we did each day.
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stefoodie
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i need to go to bed soon but wanted to say, you can do both:) we do and it works for us. i would even say we swing from extreme to extreme all year -- and it (homeschooling) still works.
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Michiel
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I am fairly new to all of this, having just started a real homeschooling this year. My ds cannot concentrate and also just has plain bad days, where we get little academic learning done, but I'm hoping some other kinds of learning, like how to handle frustration.
That said, I also realize my son can be manipulative and will do what he can to get out of work, so if his behavior means that we're not done when I need us to be done, we will finish on Saturday. We've done that once so far, and we've all been happier.
I made a spreadsheet listing subjects and add to it every day for keeping track of what we're doing.
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Willa
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albeto wrote:
| . As much as I love the Charlotte Mason kind of day, are they too old for that? Will it give them the skills they'll need in college? |
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Yes, it will! Or at least, it's worked for us.
I "hear" you, though, about the value of pushing through sometimes when kids are older. I always wonder about that too. Sometimes I come down on one side and sometimes the other, and I suppose it depends upon how I read the situation. I don't push if we are all going to be miserable and angry. It's never worked. My younger kids need a break every now and then. My older kids, highschool age, need to learn for themselves how to manage their time. So I try to back off the pushing and ask them to problem-solve.
Something else to consider seriously is your own comfort level. If you go to the park but aren't happy about it, it will probably not help the situation. The general level of stress in the house may increase. My kids pick up how I am feeling about a situation.
And finally, you can arrange for a Plan B. You can "save" some of the more fun, therapeutic subjects for the rough days. When we go on a park half-day I log it as PE and nature study. You can have a "reading day". My public school highschool son's literature teachers sometimes have a library day or a Reading Day. Why can't we do that at home?
Quote:
And how do you keep track of what you've done? Rather than a daily schedule, a log of each subject?
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I keep a progress log as well as a daily schedule. It doesn't take much time. Here is how I do it. Every month or so I calculate how far we have gone since last month, and use that to estimate how long we will take to get through the subject at the rate we're going, and adjust accordingly. If we're falling behind in one subject, we spend more time on it during the week. Older kids are sometimes interested in this too.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Mackfam
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I'm not exactly sure how to characterize our days...they're somewhat relaxed and slowly move into more focused, structured subject matter.
We start in the morning with a Morning Basket of work that is for the entire crew. It's comfortable, relaxed, and enjoyable. We visit, read aloud together, do some art/sketching, etc, and then we ease into a bit more structure, but we don't really veer too far from a CM type day all day, which is to say, short lessons with a broad variety. In fact, if I told you ALL the things we did in a day, you'd probably  ! But, with short lessons, it's manageable and the children don't get bogged down in looooonnnnnggggg lessons. Having said that, I do try to watch for moments when a child is engaged in something - an art lesson, a great book, a science/engineering project - I ALWAYS make room for them to explore like this in our day. Even if I've got another lesson planned for that time...I just quietly shift. It's all good, and I want there to be time for creative exploration in the day.
You can *arrange* your day however you feel it fits your family best - but the trips to the park, the time for exploration and expressing creativity are just as important as time sitting down to do a math lesson. I try to give them equal importance in our day, rather than an either/or option. Consider the importance of relaxing and allowing opportunities for play and enjoyment of activities in your day right alongside more structured lessons. Neither should be a punishment or reward of the other. They're both important.
So...how does that look? Different in every home, but here are some ideas to get the wheels turning for you and maybe you can come up with a plan that would work in your home from some of these ideas. I REALLY don't want to overwhelm you with my ideas, but when I'm struggling and can't *visualize* a solution I like to have lots of options with lots of details to think and pray through...so with that in mind...
Sit down and define your family philosophy
Where do you feel you fall most comfortably on the spectrum - and by the way, there is ABSOLUTELY no right or wrong answer for this. This is where you as a family, you as a homeschooling mom find your fit. Unschooling? Structured? Charlotte Mason? These are just a few, but they aren't necessarily exclusive of one another. I'd say our own personal family philosophy blends quite a bit, and it's ok to do that! Where do you feel comfortable. It helps me to define this a bit on paper. Try to know *who* you are as a homeschooler...warning!!!!!! --> this is not who you think you should be...or even who you want to be right now (there is room for growth, but right now, you're trying to lay out a realistic year - get that rolling and then turn your thoughts to growth!!!) Try to define your philosophy right now and this will help with the rest of the decisions. You can eliminate a lot because it doesn't fit with your family philosophy. And, it's not that those options are bad, or not worthwhile, they're just not for **YOUR FAMILY**.
Start a morning routine.
A morning routine does not have to start early - in fact if you consistently observe that you're not really getting rolling until 10 or 11, just give yourself permission to start then. My kids wake early so we start early, but don't look at that and say...hmmm...we should be rolling at 8:30...say...she has a consistent routine and it serves their day. Set up a routine so that you're starting at a reasonable time for your family and stick with it.
Invite input
My children have significant input in what they study, but we're not a total unschooling house. For example, I asked my 4th grader some of his favorite interests - legos, building things, figuring out how things work - and out of that discussion I designed a program built around David MacAuley's The Way Things Work all about engineering. We call it Boy Meets Machine. But, this is a specific interest he has, so he's excited to do this work - he's excited and engaged about his learning. It does make a difference. I don't do this for every subject - math is not an option here, but I do take into account their individual strengths and weaknesses when working with them individually. They're a big part of the equation for me when I'm thinking of the plan for the year, and as such, they have a voice, but my husband and I make the decision. It's what works for us, but I mention it in case you could consider asking a child who is particularly turned off by the idea of *school* of any kind what their interests are. If you have a son who loves weapons - why not dig into weaponry throughout time - Archimedes, the Greeks, the Romans, the Middle Ages, etc. Just thinking out loud here.
So...now that you have identified your own teaching philosophy, and have some ideas of what the children are interested in - you know (hopefully, or have an idea) what they'll be studying...and how...
Post-it Note Planning
Make a list of all the things that you'd like to accomplish in your day...then make another list for the week. Do it with little Post it notes on your dry erase board, or on a big piece of poster board...or on the hall wall. List everything individually - each item gets one post-it. So, for example, you'd list breakfast on one, morning chores on one, math lesson for your ?8th grader? on one, etc.
Now, with your post it note plan, think realistically about your day. Place the pegs first - breakfast, lunch, dad comes home. Now, start placing post-its throughout the day. You'll need a post it for every child old enough to do some lessons/work with you. It's not that you're scheduling your little ones...but it does help me to see that if I have older child doing an Algebra lesson with me, elementary child doing a math lesson...with me, at the same time toddler melts down, and the preschooler has nothing to do...I'm going to have a melt down on my hands and a recipe for disaster... I rearrange the post it notes until I've anticipated as much as I can and have a basic plan/rhythm for the day.
Map out your rhythm
Map out your rhythm on paper. I actually use a calendar program - iCal (a calendar program for macs, but googlecal works very similarly I understand). If you like, write it out in a lesson planner. But this is your rudder. Expect to have to tweak it a bit to adjust for some things that you couldn't anticipate, but for the most part, this will be your guide. This is really just the rhythm...where you're going each day. Each week I fill in the *how* of where we're going...the details - p. so and so, DVD name, nature walk, etc. Planning in a digital calendar format allows me to make changes very easily, repeat lessons easily, and I set the rhythm and write in the details. It works for me, but if a lesson planner spread works better for you, wonderful!
If you'd like to see a day's worth of my plans in iCal I'd be happy to upload them here so you can see what it looks like, but you'll have to remember that our plans are what works for our family, my philosophy, my children, this season of our life - you can look at them to mine them for ideas, but they can't be used to heap guilt and make you think, "look at all she's doing and I'm not"!!!! If I get pregnant...these plans will change drastically. I draft a rhythm/plan to meet our family right where we are...wherever God has decided to place us, and it's fluid. It works until God changes our course!
Live it
Just start gently and ease into your rhythm. Be humble enough to accept that you've made a few miscalculations in setting it up, change them, and keep plugging away at it.
One day at a time. If your children are revolting, assess - behavior issue? am I overloading? expecting too much? assigning too much? are they bored? am I not offering enough? Observe with the goal of not making a single comment. Don't let your children know you're doing this, or they'll be more melodramatic than normal. Take notes on their comments, the flopping around on the floor like a fish out of water, the writhing in pain, the lamenting...subtract the melodrama and ask yourself some questions:
** what subjects prompt this?
** reading comp questions?
** is this asking for too much abstract thought?
** can we narrate a lot of our reading rather than forcing them to write?
** behavioral issue/issue of habit formation (if I arrive here, I drop almost EVERYTHING and focus on the habit development because it's derailing our days)
** etc...just start with "WHY did they react this way?" and ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom in discerning so you can meet that child where he needs to be met.
Just observe everything. Start making a few connections as you read through your notes in the evening. Consider in prayer what is going on - why the revolt? Move towards simplicity not complexity. Another idea that has worked well for me is asking the child's guardian angel to assist me in helping them.
Restore all settings to Default
When all else fails, let your default setting be reading - reading lots and lots of really great books. If you have to pull back in places, just backfill your daily plans with reading! I promise you, PROMISE YOU!!!!!!!! This is enough!!!!! I've had survival years where ALL we did was read. Walk together and then talk about the reading together. Then read some more.
Take all of this to prayer. It may be that I've offered absolutely nothing of value for your family...but maybe it at least says, "this is what we definitely *don't* want to do!" and that's good too!
 to you as you discern this!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Sept 23 2009 at 9:59am | IP Logged
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Okay...I've had this post in the hopper for some time and I would just come back to it every now and then to add...I was interrupted frequently! 
But...I'm always so when I see how long it looks when it posts! I'm so sorry if I overwhelmed with all my thoughts, Helen. Just stop reading if you get bleary eyed!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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albeto
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Mackfam wrote:
Okay...I've had this post in the hopper for some time and I would just come back to it every now and then to add...I was interrupted frequently!
But...I'm always so when I see how long it looks when it posts! I'm so sorry if I overwhelmed with all my thoughts, Helen. Just stop reading if you get bleary eyed!!! |
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I love long posts! It's like a little book, written just for me!
I'll be chewing on your, and all the ideas, all day. I've already concluded that it is possible to give my kids a quality and enjoyable education away from the kitchen table, and I'm starting to see just how. Thank you!
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julia s.
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julia s. wrote:
If skipping the day is going to cause you to feel like a failure I'd say do it. It is better than feeling awful about something that in essence was just a few hours of work.
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I meant don'tdo it. That is what I get for trying to type and say hello to my husband at the same time. Sorry.
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julia
married to love of her life
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Sarah M
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Happiness is.... printing out Jen's (Mackfam) entire post and reading it and re-reading it. That's a gold mine, Jennifer- thanks for posting it!
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Mackfam
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Sarah M wrote:
| Happiness is.... printing out Jen's (Mackfam) entire post and reading it and re-reading it. That's a gold mine, Jennifer- thanks for posting it! |
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You're so sweet, Sarah! Thanks for making me feel better about my verbosity!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Nina
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Jennifer, I also thank you. I love reading your posts and your Blog. I can go through the day and contemplate your ideas. I have also been meaning to thank you for the Morning Basket idea, it helps to keep us on track and not forget/omit intended short readings and lessons.
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albeto
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Mackfam wrote:
Restore all settings to Default
When all else fails, let your default setting be reading - reading lots and lots of really great books. If you have to pull back in places, just backfill your daily plans with reading! I promise you, PROMISE YOU!!!!!!!! This is enough!!!!! I've had survival years where ALL we did was read. Walk together and then talk about the reading together. Then read some more. |
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Still chewing on all these ideas...
So today I printed off a list of things that we would have in baskets if we had baskets. The kids reported they liked this much better. We went to an office store and bought 3 folding cloth college dorm boxes with lids and I'm grinning like a fool as I place each person's daily things in there. Ah! Now if I forget to have them read or practice penmanship or something, they won't miss out because I forgot!
As I reread this post, this last part caught my eye. I love reading to my kids, I love to watch as they imagine the story from the character's point of view (which is more difficult for my oldest with Asperger's but no less important to learn). I love curling up on the couch with them before they get to big, watching them color or draw as I read. Today I read first thing in the morning when they were still and calm. As the day goes on, however, they can get very wound up (which, I was happy to note, the daily basket idea addresses naturally - less time to act impulsively). How can I get three kids (well, two really) to calm down when it's a "default" day?
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Mackfam
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albeto wrote:
| As the day goes on, however, they can get very wound up (which, I was happy to note, the daily basket idea addresses naturally - less time to act impulsively). How can I get three kids (well, two really) to calm down when it's a "default" day? |
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I've been thinking about your question.
It is hard for me to calm down my boys especially in the afternoon. Sometimes, it just doesn't look pretty. I have the most success when I can find something that occupies their hands. Beeswax works very well. Painting works too. Sewing projects too. Anything that you can think of that engages the hands, but leaves the mind free to listen to the reading. I actually go to the Beeswax a lot. I used to prefer sculpey clay, but we now much prefer beeswax because it accepts sculpting much better. Sculpey is easier to work in the hands, beeswax is great with a set of clay sculpting tools - nothing fancy here, we got a modest set from Michaels and the kids love it! Anyway, the point is, they can be sculpting a sail boat on the ocean with sculpted waves whilst I read about Pope St. Pius X.
Does this sort of answer your question?
How are your baskets and reading going now?
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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4Real Forums : Philosophy of Education
Topic: I'm torn between two styles of schooling
