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mom2mpr
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Our church does not. I do it anyways.
My dh is having a problem with our not being "one" with the congregation and also within our family-he stands and the kids, well, they do what they feel like that particular Sunday. 
What does your church do?
Suggestions to resolve this?
Dh is fine with changing churches--we moved to this church a little less than a year ago. I do not want to do that again.
Dh does not want to meet with Father as Father clearly stated one week he wants the congregation to be unified and to all stand. He does not want to make waves.
I know a few other families who have just decided to do what Father wants after much discussion and prayer.
It is me. All about me. I find I can pray better. I want my 2-3 minutes with the Lord to be on my knees.
I know we can discuss this here. I am ready to make the sacrifice and stand for family unity and all, but I will be giving up a piece of myself and that makes me sad.
Also, I want my kids to learn the correct way pray after receiving. The GIRM seems to say either it OK.
This is another issue dh has. The "rules." Different churches do it different and why don't they all do it the same? And why have all these rules if churches are going to do what they want anyhow?
Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.
Anne
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SusanJ
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I was living in the diocese of Arlington when the new translation of the GIRM came out in 2002. The bishop there asked all the priests to do a four-week instruction during Advent on some of the "new" things. We had a whole homily on postures and we were specifically requested to kneel after returning to our pew and then sit when the celebrant sits once communion is over. We were actually chastised because so many there would have preferred to continue kneeling until it was time to stand again for the closing prayer. But maybe there are multiple interpretations and our pastor was just particularly emphatic?
I understand the unity thing although being the only kneeler is much less obvious than being the only stander. Following your dh is probably the way to go. At our parish they stand at the wrong time after the offertory (another GIRM translation change that wasn't implemented here). Dh insists that we stand at the correct time which means we are the only ones standing for a minute. It was sort of mortifying at first because we sit in the very front row.
If I'm right about the GIRM then maybe if your dh read that he would feel better about your decision?
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mimmyof5
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You stand after receiving communion? Do you continue standing until the priest sits? I have never seen that before. Our priest has made quite an effort to get people to sit after receiving communion - the apostles reclined, but since reclining isn't an option in church, we should sit. Our family still kneels until the priest sits. In fact, quite a few people still kneel so it's not like we're standing out. Obviously Father's preaching on this matter has not convinced everyone. I feel much more comfortable kneeling, and as I understand, kneeling after communion is okay.
Janet
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JodieLyn
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From what I understand.. I think our Bishop wrote about it after the 2002 change that was mentioned above..
But from what I understand any of the 3 is acceptable, sitting, standing, kneeling. I remember because I often sit.. it's difficult to kneel when holding one or even two little ones  But dh kneels (most of our parish does), and I will when I can, I tend to make more effort to kneel prior to communion. And we teach our children to kneel.
SusanJ wrote:
| At our parish they stand at the wrong time after the offertory (another GIRM translation change that wasn't implemented here). Dh insists that we stand at the correct time which means we are the only ones standing for a minute. |
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Interesting Susan, I still "hear" that later moment when they used to stand. You know that sound of everyone standing up.. cloth brushing cloth and feet shuffling around.. because I've always had my hands full of children and learned everything by memory rather than looking at it in the book so it's still there in my head.
Anne - could you stand.. and then your dh take your children out at the end of Mass and leave you a few minutes to kneel and pray right after Mass?
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Paula in MN
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Interesting topic. I've never attended a mass where you didn't kneel after Communion. My mother still attends the church I grew up in, and she told me they now stand for the entire Mass, except for the Homily.
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 Paula
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LisaD
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In our parish, about half stand and about half sit after receiving Communion. I don't recall ever hearing that one way or the other was the "right" way. We all do both, depending on the behavior of the children, mostly!
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Nique
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mom2mpr wrote:
| I find I can pray better. I want my 2-3 minutes with the Lord to be on my knees. |
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Anne, I'm with you - since I've received my First Communion, I've always knelt. It is so much easier to focus on Jesus. Less distractions of all the senses. It's just Him and me. Why, why, why take that away from us???
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mom2mpr
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I understand it is right either way-stand, kneel, sit.
I think dh is stuck on the obedience issue. And teaching the kids the right way. Father said he wants the congregation standing after they receive and we(or I) are not obeying him. Fathers reasons are that we are one, a community and this expresses that. We are supposed to stand until all have received and Jesus is back in the tabernacle-then, he said, we can kneel or sit. We sit up front and communion starts from the back, so if I kneel when I come back to my seat, I get a little time for prayer(without breathing down someones neck as they sit back).
Dh also wants us to be one as a family. It is driving him crazy to have his family in different postures after communion. And he says it is distracting. I say, if you are praying you shouldn't be distracted if someone next to you is kneeling or standing. You probably don't even know!
What I find distracting is when the congregation is standing they are just people watching. THAT drives me crazy that they just hang out watching others receive and aren't taking their time with the Lord.
This is so hard. I want my kids to kneel. And I don't want to change churches again. Why can't they all do the came thing?
I can understand if there are not kneelers(our old church)but if they are there we should use them!
Obedience is the big issue here. I am trying to figure out how to address that with the kids and dh.
Anne
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PDyer
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Our former bishop was quite clear that he preferred the congregation to stand until the tabernacle is closed, then we may choose to sit or kneel until the closing prayer. He did also allow those who felt drawn to the practice of kneeling after Communion to do so, but it was pretty clear he expected this to be the exception rather than the norm.
I struggled with this instruction but in the end we decided we needed to be obedient to the wishes of the bishop and stand until the tabernacle is closed, and then we kneel for prayer as necessary until the closing prayer.
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leanne maree
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We choose to kneel. And yes it is not what everyone else does but I feel It is right.
Leanne
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stacykay
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We kneel before communion and after, until the priest has completed rinsing the chalices and finishing the Holy Blood (isn't there a word for that? My brain is tired!) and sits down. Most of the churches in our diocese do the same, except for a couple that do not have kneelers. At our cathedral, kneeling is the norm.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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KauaiCatholic
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tough question. we have been instructed to stand until the priest sits, per diocesan policy. (and since the diocese is all of the Hawaiian Islands, we don't really have an option of switching without a really long plane ride.  ) the priest didn't explain it, other than to say "this is how we do it now," so I'm interested in hearing the reasoning behind it.
I, too, mourn the trading of personal prayer time with the inevitable people-watching. for us, it actually turns into people-dodging, since we are usually in the front row where there are no kneelers or pew back. that means, if we kneeled on the ground, as we do at other points, people would step on us; as it is, they often bump into us. )
prayers for your discernment and decision.
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Nina Murphy
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I also find this fascinating to hear as I have never experienced or heard of this....I know a lot of people sit right after receiving, but as a Church *policy*---this is new to me, except for those standing or walking with kids in the back and the vestibule (which is often me!).
I wonder why? Does anyone know the reason that is the thinking behind why this is the more reverent choice or why it was changed?
Even in the more "liberal" masses I've attended (and there have been many) I have yet to encounter this. 
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Gloria JMJ
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When I had this problem,I would kneel with my family even though everyone else would stand. It is more reverent. That is the time when the presence of Our Lord is most real and time with Him is precious. For some reason the church is discouraging this long practiced devotion and I have changed churches because of this general drift, not just the kneeling thing. We were unified as a family in serving Our Lord in a way that has been correct for two thousand years. Why fix it if it isn't broken?
May God reveal to you His Adorable Will.
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guitarnan
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Our parish normally kneels (except now when our Masses are in the hall due to construction...and I still kneel!).
I have been to many churches around the U.S. and have not seen the stand-after-Communion thing in any. Interesting.
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stacykay
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This was intriguing me, so I looked at various areas. I found this on Catholic Answers website. I wish I could find the original writings that are referred to here:
From Catholic Answers:
"kneeling after receiving Holy Communion
------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------
Quote:
Originally Posted by StDominicSavio
John is correct. The bishops have come up with a unified posture for after communion.
However, Cardinal George sent the question to Rome a few years back and Cardinal Arinze wrote back that while the intention is uniformity and union in posture, an individual's freedom is not to be infringed upon, and individuals may sit or kneel at this time.
Cardinal George wrote that Dubium as president of the USCCB on behalf of the USCCB. It is therefore binding on every US Bishop. The Bishop may SUGGEST a posture, but they cannot mandate one in this area.
Upon returning to the pew after they have personally recieved, each person may stand, kneel or sit as they personally choose.
Cardinal Francis George, of Chicago, then chairman of the Bishops' Committee of the Liturgy, submitted a dubium (question) to the Congregration for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments on May 26, 2003, concerning the long-standing practices of individuals kneeling upon returning to their places after having received Holy Communion. Cardinal Francis Arinze, Prefect of the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments responded on June 5, 2003, (Prot.n. 855/03/L).
Quote:
"In several dioceses people have been instructed that they must stand until the last person has received Communion, despite the long-standing custom that people knelt during the distribution of Communion".
"Numerous inquiries" received by the BCL led Cardinal Francis George, chairman of the BCL, to submit a dubium (doubt, question) to the Holy See's Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments (CDW) on May 26, 2003:
Dubium: In many places, the faithful are accustomed to kneeling or sitting in personal prayer upon returning to their places after having individually received Holy Communion during Mass. Is it the intention of the Missale Romanum, editio typica tertia, to forbid this practice?
Cardinal Francis Arinze, Prefect of the CDW, responded to the question on June 5, 2003 (Prot. N. 855/03/L):
Responsum: Negative, et ad mensum [No, for this reason]. The mens [reasoning] is that the prescription of the Institutio Generalis Missalis Romani, no. 43, is intended, on the one hand, to ensure within broad limits a certain uniformity of posture within the congregation for the various parts of the celebration of Holy Mass, and on the other, to not regulate posture rigidly in such a way that those who wish to kneel or sit would no longer be free.
The BCL Newsletter continues: "In the implementation of the General Instruction of the Roman Missal, therefore, posture should not be regulated so rigidly as to forbid individual communicants from kneeling or sitting when returning from having received Holy Communion" (p. 26. Emphasis added.)
If you read the transcripts from the USCCB meeting that approved the GIRM, the bishops (specifically Bishop Vigneron {my add-he is now our bishop  -Detroit} of Oakland) brought up this very point, and the bishops agreed that the posture was open to the faithful.
"
It does sound as though each diocesan Bishop can decide what posture he wants for his diocese. That can make it confusing when traveling! Or even crossing from one local diocese to another (although I think the Lansing diocese also kneels, as that has been what we have seen in going from "Detroit" churches to "Lansing" churches.)
I hope this helps!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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guitarnan
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Thanks, Stacy!
I've observed in Germany the reverse of this...most people kneel and a few stand.
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stacykay
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Ooooh, Germany....I would be right at home...I need to go to the travel thread!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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melanie
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There is a nearby parish that does this. I don't know the reasoning behind it, really...they are the only parish around here that has a Sunday evening mass, my dh is a nurse and occassionally that's the only mass we can make, or he can make. I don't know what the "official" stance on that all is, really...I don't like it, but when I'm there I do what they do at that parish because otherwise I feel like I'm drawing attention to myself and distracting people from the mass. Maybe if we went to mass there more often I'd invest more into figuring it out, lol, but I am interested in responses here too!
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drmommy
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The church we attend, everyone kneels after Communion, and we feel so much more reverent and comfortable with it...my prayers are more focused on Jesus, rather than trying to keep my balance or my eyes focused without wandering. I had attended my Dad's church on Christmas (same diocese, liberal), and everyone stood up. We were kneeling as some others were. I just feel that kneeling is more reverent after just receiving our King, and keeps me focused on Him. We then sit down when the priest sits down. Some are still kneeling, but when the priest gets up, everyone rises also. At my parish they are very, very holy priests, so I tend to listen to them also, as they are very loyal to our Holy Father.
Oh, just a note. It can be difficult, because you don't want to draw unnecessary attention to yourselves, but in reality, we are here to please Jesus not others.
This was a great post.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: kneeling after communion?
