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TracyFD
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 4:16am | IP Logged
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It's that time of year again - when I would like to get the kids to bed by 8pm.
But if my DH gets home at 6:30 after an hour's commute and we finish dinner by 7:30 it is impossible for the children to help with kitchen clean-up, get ready for bed, for one of us to read-a-loud a chapter to them and for us all pray the rosary in 30 minutes.
I would like to serve dinner earlier, but eating dinner without dad is a real drag after a long day! 
Sometimes I start the kid's dinner by 6:00 or 6:15 and dh joins us when he arrives.
Should we eat without him or should I accept that a 9pm bedtime is ok? How do you fit it all in?
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Tracy
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 4:35am | IP Logged
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We have a similar schedule here. I have found that I need to streamline what we do in the evening in order to get a reasonable bedtime for the littler ones. What is most important to you and your family? Reading aloud or eating together? One of those probably needs to go if you expect an earlier bedtime. Also, can you divide and conquer? Maybe you clean up the kitchen and have dh get the children ready for bed? Or vice versa? If the children are helping with lunch and breakfast clean-up, would that be enough so they could skip dinner clean-up? It's even possible that if you did that, you could have time for a short read-aloud (maybe not an entire chapter). That also leaves time for the Rosary if you plan on an 8:30 bedtime. I personally think the most important things you could do in the evening are dinner as a family and the Rosary, but you need to pick and choose for your own family.
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Caroline
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mom2mpr
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I recently spoke to my spiritual director about this and he suggested eating dinner with the kids earlier, clean up until dad gets home, and then sit with Dad and have dessert or a snack as Dad eats his dinner. My dh is rarely home for dinner and the kids can't wait until 7pm to eat. This actually works for nights we have activities, also. I try to feed them around 5pm. We do our activity and get home at 7 or so, clean up and snack and good to go(to bed!).
Anne
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KC in TX
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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If your routine is important to you then I'd say bedtime at 9pm would work. The only problem with that is your alone time with dh is cut short by an hour.
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Tami
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How about having the the children bathed and in pajamas before dinner? You might try to have most of the meal cleaned up (pans, prep materials, counters wiped down, etc) so that the only thing to deal with are dishes.
And would it be possible to close the meal after say, 45 minutes, instead of one hour? Then the time with dad could be a bit longer.
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Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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JennGM
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 9:32am | IP Logged
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My Dh comes home between 6:10-6:30. I aim to have dinner on the table when he walks through the door (it doesn't always happen, but I try). Do you serve dinner right when he comes home? Does it take an hour to eat dinner? Or am I missing something?
We're done pretty quickly (15-20 minutes) and I choose to clean up usually so dh can visit and play with the kids for a bit before bedtime routine (which includes bath, prayers, reading). We aim for everyone to be washed, brushed, and in-bed-routine-mode between 8:00-8:30. That doesn't mean everything is done, but it's turning out the lights around 8:30 and the last kisses and story-telling is over. So maybe instead of 8:00 make it 8:30 final time? 9:00 is pretty late by my standards. Mommy and Daddy need downtime.
The suggestion of having most of the kitchen clean before he arrives home is a really good one. And all the clean-up of toys and personal spaces should be done before he comes home, too.
I know with my kids I can't dress them in pjs for dinner -- they are way too messy.
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PDyer
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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mom2mpr wrote:
| I recently spoke to my spiritual director about this and he suggested eating dinner with the kids earlier, clean up until dad gets home, and then sit with Dad and have dessert or a snack as Dad eats his dinner. |
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This is what we do during tax season when my dh doesn't get home until 7pm or later. Those are the days I use my crockpot with the 'keep warm' setting all the time.
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stacykay
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 11:05am | IP Logged
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Our dinners have been varied. Dh is accountant, as Patty's is, and our dinners have been as late as 8, although many nights he doesn't get home until 10. And we also have many playing sports at strange evening hours. It does get harder the older they get.
So, this year, I am instituting a 6:30 pm dinner time. The little guys need a regular eating schedule, regardless of what everyone else is doing. It's healthier for them, and helps me maintain a sense of order, even if everone else is running to various events. During the "off" tax season, dh is usually able to be home by then, too.
For the days when I know I will be driving alot before dinnertime, I have planned crockpot nights. When I make my meal schedule for each two weeks (I do two at a time, just because my mom always did:o),) I pencil in any activity and time on each day, so I can see where I need the easy dinner prep. days. I have to write everything down, or I simply forget!
When my older boys were the little ones, early dinners and bedtimes were much easier. But now with evening games to attend (and we don't always go to all, sometimes dh goes and I stay with the littles or vice versa,) it is harder to maintain the desired bedtimes for the younger crowd.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Tonya
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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For years and years, my husband did not get home until 6:30-7:30. We always made it a priority to eat as a family. One of the perks of homeschooling is that our schedule was flexible. And if the kids stayed up a little later, they would sleep a little later in the morning. Then after 20+ years of this schedule, my husband switched to a different shift where he comes home between 4-5. This has been a difficult transition for me! When the kids were all younger it would have been great but now I find myself in the middle of picking up the house and barely starting dinner when he walks through the door. I need to retrain myself!
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TracyFD
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| Posted: Sept 08 2009 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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Yes, I do try to have dinner ready (I've been using the Saving Dinner cookbook that usually has one crock-pot meal per week) by the time dh walks in the door and sometimes we are already eating. It still seems to take a looong time for my kids to eat and I don't serve an afternoon snack!
They only get baths on Wednesdays and Saturdays so that saves some time.
After dinner dishes have usually been something my dh is willing to do to give me a break. Trouble is, he tends to put them off until late. So I started having the kids help do dishes with him so that they are out of the way and he can do something else with his evening and maybe get to bed earlier so he can get up earlier and be home earlier. (but the employees in his office tend to get in late and stay late)
We are dealing with two other factors as well: our 2yo still wakes at night. Sometimes we get back to sleep soon and other nights we toss and turn and end up sleeping in, getting a late start to the whole day.
The other one is that I am in the first trimester of pregnancy and super tired both in the morning and totally out of gas when dh gets home!
I know I can't expect perfection, but I need to find a workable balance even through this difficult time (I'm 10 weeks). And since they are all 9 and under I have resisted getting involved in evening activities because evenings are already hectic! I realize this can't last forever!
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Tracy
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Pinewood Castle
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JodieLyn
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hmmm.. does your dh want to go to bed earlier and get up earlier and go to work earlier?
Maybe you should work on everyone sleeping later in the mornings and having the later dinner time and later bedtimes for everyone?
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Paula in MN
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TracyFD wrote:
| The other one is that I am in the first trimester of pregnancy |
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WOAH!!!!!!!! YOU'RE PREGNANT???????????
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! 
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stefoodie
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Paula in MN wrote:
TracyFD wrote:
| The other one is that I am in the first trimester of pregnancy |
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WOAH!!!!!!!! YOU'RE PREGNANT???????????
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Great catch, Paula! Congrats, Tracy!!!
about the dinner: normal here is 7:30-8:30. Mondays are REALLLLY busy so early dinner for the boys might mean 4:45 or 5, then "second dinner"  at 9:00 when they get back home from scouting. If we're not too hungry we wait for them so we can all eat together, or we eat a bit and eat again with them, OR eat a lot and sit at or near the dining table when they come home so we can keep each other company.
So yeah, over here, late dinner is totally acceptable. :)
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TracyFD
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| Posted: Sept 09 2009 at 2:07pm | IP Logged
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I had a feeling you would catch that, Paula! I'll be announcing on my blog later this week. You're among the first to know (and everyone else here!)
Thanks for all your suggestions, ladies. Dinner is not an easy job for anyone and I am impressed by the variety of ways you deal with your individual family situations.
This week if I can wake up from my afternoon nap in time to get dinner on the table at all I will consider it a success! 
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Tracy
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1 absent-minded professor, and one adorable toddling terrorist.
Pinewood Castle
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: What time do you eat dinner?
