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sweetiesmom
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 10:01am | IP Logged
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My son turned 7 in Feb and shows no sign of being ready for FHC. We don't do CCD, and I have prepared my older two(both dd's)at home, but ds is a different story. Dh and I have discussed it over and over again and neither of us feel like we should force the issue. My extended family is not happy. They are supportive of homeschooling, but all have said that if he was in regular classes he would have no choice. Can you actually force a child to receive FHC?
We attend mass weekly and often attend daily mass. He goes through the motions but does not know any of the prayers. I am finding it totally different than preparing the girls. He is the only boy so far with four sisters. Could this be a maturity issue or should I just buckle down and not give him a choice?
Amy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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could be maturity
but as far as things like knowing his prayers, that may be something that you should be requiring some work at.. it could be that he's just getting away with being lazy there.
Does he know what FHC is?
I'm not sure that knowing prayers (ability to memorize them?) is one of the critera that is or should be a deciding factor.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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greengables
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 10:48am | IP Logged
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This is similar to what happened to us last year. We were given the option for our seven year old son to receive FHC last May. My dh and I felt our son was not ready and so we choose to wait. Now thankfully it looks like our son will receive 1st Confession and FHC before Christmas! In that little bit of time (about six months) just since March, our son has made great progress with his prayers, his catechism and his desire.
I always like to remember a quote from St. John Bosco when I think of preparing a child for FHC.
Gosh, now I can't find it. And worse I am questioning myself, "Was it St. John Bosco or St Dominic Savio?" Does anyone know where to find the quote about it being better to wait ... something about the dangers of receiving FHC unprepared.
God bless you all,
Jill
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sweetiesmom
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 1:11pm | IP Logged
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It really isn't so much that he doesn't know the prayers, he is usually an unwilling participant at mass.
We are often asked to bring up the gifts at daily mass, my 3 dd's take up the gifts and I stay in the pew with dd(2) and Ds, he doesn't want any part of it. I am not even sure he would notice if he didn't receive FHC this year.
Amy
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greengables
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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In our family, I really have found our boys have had more problems "sitting still" through Mass than the girls. Of course, we desire more than just sitting still! We want our children's hearts to be in love with Our Lord - to desire Him - to know Him, to love Him and to want to serve Him!
If possible, a positive experience at Mass is very helpful and I feel almost a necessity for 1st Holy Communion!
Is there a way to give your son special attention at Mass? I know our seven year old is very active and also has always been a high attention/high need child (He is our ninth child!) I think it has helped him for us to try to find ways to somehow make the Mass experience a more positive one for him. Though this doesn't always work out, we continue to try to focus on this - the positive.
At times when we have had children with difficulties or special needs in Mass, either my husband or myself would sit apart with him/her as a loving parent and try to focus, of course, on the Mass, but also on making the high need child feel special. I also TRY to remind myself not to assume disobedience/bad behavior , but to remember his abilities and try to focus on the LITTLE positive baby steps of progress.
May God bless you and your child and shower you both with His abundant graces to help prepare your child for his 1st confession and FHC. He will show you His plans for your very special little one!
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KC in TX
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 2:46pm | IP Logged
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My son received FHC when he was 10 last year. He wasn't ready. He does have other issues though (he has autism).
My thought is that even though he doesn't know all that I would like him to, he does know, believe and understand that when he receives communion he is receiving the body of Christ.
The rest will come and has.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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ekbell
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
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FHC definitely should not be forced.
In many parishes a child your son's age (7th birthday in Febuary) would normally be expected to have his first confession and communion this coming May. This would give ample time for you to work with your son on the meaning of mass, and of the sacraments plus proper mass behaviour (although he may never want to take up the gifts-does he like being noticed doing special things or is he happier when no-one is paying particular attention to him?).
It's worth remembering what is required to receive Holy Communion
1)to be in a state of grace
2)to know and believe that this is the Body and Blood of Christ
3)to have fasted for an hour beforehand
Being bored at mass isn't actually a disqualifer although it is something that you will want to work on.
I've found that periodically spending some time going over the parts of the mass with the children and going over the Sunday readings every Friday helps. Finding an appropriate children's missal with the Readings, (Magifikid is good but pricy) is also helpful.
I found that one child settled better when I gave her the mass worksheet from catholicmom.com to do during the homily (which is normally over a young child's head)
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Mimip
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| Posted: Aug 31 2009 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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I think I shared this in another topic but I can't seem to find it 
We had a very holy priest tell us once as a home schooling group that you gage preparation for reception of FHC (in most children, disabilities are the exception) in their ability to prepare and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
He said that most "well trained" children understand that the Eucharist is Jesus but the real test is whether they can come to their First confession with a true understanding of sin and contriteness of heart. His thought was that we need to prepare and teach our children that the Eucharist is something that you receive not only understanding that it is really and truly Jesus, but that your heart needs to be ready to receive.
HTH!
__________________
In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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Betsy
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I might just add that if you don't think that the is ready right now don't feel like you need to wait an entire year (read to next May/traditional time for FHC) if he shows signs of readiness earlier.
With my second son I was concerned if he was ready as well to receive his FHC. He was much harder to gauge than his older brother because he is very reserved and has a difficult time discussing his feelings. I was frustrated! Then a light bulb when on and I realized that the approach that I used with my first son didn't fit with this boy. When I changed gears to fit his learning style things went much, much better.
Betsy
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Holding back for FHC
