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Schoolrmacres
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| Posted: Aug 28 2009 at 7:54am | IP Logged
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Do you discipline your children in the same way that you were disciplined? For example when I was younger if I talked to my mom in a disrespectful or disobedient way I got smacked. I knew that I just did not do that.I am really tempted to throw out the for lack of a better term "new" method of discipline and implement grandma discipline. It worked for me. Like I said I knew "my place" as the child and hers as the mom. Is this barbaric thinking?
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Darlene, wife to Shawn and mamma to Haleigh Elizabeth, our Gift from God through adoption.
Peace be with you
http://achampionfamily.blogspot.com/
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RA's Mom
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My daughter is only two but we don't plan to spank her. My husband's parents spanked. My parents didn't.
When we were getting ready to start our family I happened to re-read Laura Ingalls Wilder's "Little House" books. The discipline in those books inspired me. Yes, there's hitting but it's emotionally gentle. Pa sits down with Laura and explains the violation and punishment. He tells her stories and gives her advice. I told my husband I would be okay with spanking in our house if it was done without anger. "But that's so hard," he said.
I feel like firmness and consistency in giving consequences are more important than the exact consequence. If you strike in anger, you'll teach your child to strike in anger, but I'd rather see patient authoritative parent spank than an yelling, inconsistent parent send a child to her room.
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Mary Chris
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Darlene,
I think I know where you are. My dd14 has entered the world of teens with a vengence. I personally am so struggling with the whole unconditional love thing. I don't want to go down the road my parents took with me, though sometimes really ugly things come out of my mouth.
I am reading Good Discipline great teens by Dr. Ray Guarendi. It is a really good book! Also, I try and remember the quote Mary G posted about not letting anyone annoy you instead let them santify you.
I'll try to get back later to fix the quote
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mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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Cay Gibson
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Schoolrmacres wrote:
| Do you discipline your children in the same way that you were disciplined? |
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No.
Come to think of it, I don't discipline my younger ones the same way I disciplined my older ones. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
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Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Aug 28 2009 at 8:24pm | IP Logged
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Schoolrmacres wrote:
| Do you discipline your children in the same way that you were disciplined? |
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no.
Quote:
| For example when I was younger if I talked to my mom in a disrespectful or disobedient way I got smacked. I knew that I just did not do that. |
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me too.
Quote:
| I am really tempted to throw out the for lack of a better term "new" method of discipline and implement grandma discipline. It worked for me. Like I said I knew "my place" as the child and hers as the mom. Is this barbaric thinking? |
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i think we as parents always try to improve on how we were parented ourselves. i know one child of ours challenges us more than the others to get creative or at least provokes us to discuss once again if our "style" is working or not. i don't think it's necessarily barbaric to want to resort to what worked for us even if it's an "older style", but i also don't want to put myself in a box thinking that "grandma discipline" is the only thing that works. we've had to look at our thinking processes, our gut-level responses, etc. a lot of soul-searching happens, as individuals, as a couple, and as parents. i don't know if that answers your question or not, but hth.
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stef
mom to five
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JodieLyn
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There's a lot of things that go into how a child is disciplined and if it "works" or not. The parents personalities, the child's personality, the consistency at which discipline is used. If it's not used consistently, nothing will really work.. there is not a magic pill that you use it once and all is well and the child thinks.. oh wow I'm never going to do that again.. nope, children are inherant gamblers if you ever don't follow through, they'll keep trying to get that one time when you don't follow through.. and then that gets back to personality for how often you have to follow through for them to choose not to earn the consequences.
And you MUST consider a very real threat, society. Anything you do will likely be talked about by the child to others and it's all to easy nowadays for it to be to someone who would think a single swat on the bottom is abuse and then they turn around and report it to CPS, probably annoymously and your whole family is pur under a microscope if you do somehow manage to keep your kids, otherwise your children may be yanked from your family until you prove yourself innocent of the charges.
I've always found standing with their nose on the wall productive (or at least facing the wall, I've never been strict on the nose touching the wall) because there's rarely not a wall or tree or side of the van to use and they stand where I can see them so there's no playing in their rooms (or reading etc) once you're out of sight. It gets old very fast and quickly becomes something to be avoided 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SaraP
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| Posted: Aug 28 2009 at 9:05pm | IP Logged
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Quote:
| Do you discipline your children in the same way that you were disciplined? |
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Yes.
My siblings and I were raised with definite, clearly defined limits, but they were respectfully enforced. There was virtually no corporal punishment and I cannot ever, my entire life, recall my father raising his voice, but when Dad laid down the law That. Was. It.
My parents did a wonderful job raising us and both my sister (the only of my sibs who has children of her own) and I parent very much the same way we were parented.
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Mama to six on earth, two in heaven and two waiting in Russia. Foxberry Farm Almanac
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Discipline
