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Elizabeth
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My dad bought Michael an iPod for his birthday. The thing is driving me nuts. Does it bother anyone else to always see her child connected to an electronic device?
Apparently, our bishop is concerned. Would some of you technically savvy people comment on this cautionary letter. Bishop's warning on Pornography
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Mary G
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Elizabeth,
First, I agree with you completely on the electronic device stuck in the ear -- it's very anti-social and we've banned them here (except for when they're out walking or riding bike or doing something completely by themselves; or for language tapes). My older kids used to carry them everywhere and sit in the van, right next to a younger sibling trying to talk, and constantly be shuhshing them because "I can't hear my music".....right!
I also am proud of your Bishop for sending out this letter. I wonder how many parents worry about these issues? It's similar to the post I just put on your question about myspace -- parents "cave" too often to their kids' wants instead of fully researching what are the consequences of such actions. ipods and cell phones and unlimited access to the Internet are not bad, in and of themselves, but they can be used as tools to destroy our children's innocence.
Just my $.02!
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lilac hill
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Ipod for Laurea here and yes, I do not like seeing her with the ear plugs in all the time BUT, she thrives with music. It is just the way she works. In a way it is how the house works, internet radio in the house, XM in the shop, CD;s in the car, it is always around.
That said, a friend suggested that the rule is, no ear plugs when we are talking, yes that means both are out!I am enforcing that rule.
Question about your bishop's letter and the tech side of having a computer--would having a Parental control program, such as Net Nanny, block such downloads?
Laurea is only listening to music she has downloaded, when she adds more music or when she is charging, I can see her play list--is that a form of parental control?
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JennGM
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I almost posted our Bishop's letter on the Forum earlier, but left town before I got to it. I thought it was so great, and I was so proud of our Bishop...but it was posted a little late in the Christmas shopping days, since most of you had already bought the gifts!
I read his message to be pointed to video or visual pornography. Viewing it can be completely addicting. There is already capability for video on cellphones and PDAs (that's like a Palm or Blackberry) and soon to be on iPod.
I think what you got for Michael is only audio, so monitoring playlists and doing parental controls will control any abuses.
But as far as the video is concerned, Bishop Loverde is mentioning that so far there is no technology to trace what is being downloaded nor parental blocking controls to keep out the videos on these devices.
In short, don't buy something handheld that is video capable.
I'm glad you posted about the iPod. I'm so opposed to things in the ears. I don't like seeing the kids that look plugged in and tuned out...but I was thinking it would be nice for things like audio books. Dh uses headphones for working outside to listen to games and running (ESPN talkshows  ) but never around everyone else.
I'll add one more caution I read recently in WSJ. The earbuds can really do ear damage over time because they don't block outside noise, so the user often turns the volume louder. My solution...don't use earbuds, but some other kind of headphone...but of course, you lose the  look.
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MacBeth
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I kind of giggled about the anti-social thing. First of all, I agree, totally. Yesterday, while on a hike, Libby was listening to her iPod, against the rules. I gave her "the lecture" but she told me she was trying to figure out what concerto to play next...and not too loudly. As she was the only 15 yo on the hike, I gave her a pass, as long as she took photos, too. In general, she is listening to classical music softly, and shares a ear hook-up with friends if they are walking together.
I have the same rule about hand-held video games...NOT when other humans are around! 
Viv wrote:
| I can see her play list--is that a form of parental control? |
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Yup. I absolutely know what's on her iPod, and on her new phone, which also has an MP3 player built in. She keeps Teaching Company lectures and audio books on her phone for long train rides or waiting before lessons, and music/video content on her iPod for sharing with friends and for personal enjoyment.
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kristina
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Dear Elizabeth,
I have a few thoughts on this. Can your son restrict use to when driving or perhaps have one of the gadgets that play his music over speakers so it does not isolate him from the family? That way you also can monitor what he is storing on the iPod as well. It may require purchasing additional accessories, but they are becoming more available and more competitively priced as the devices become more popular.
Another idea is coming to me, too. We have "splitters" which allow more than one headphone set to share one walkman for books on tape. Very handy for two sets of children to listen to two different stories at the same time and I get 15 minutes of 100% silence (rare in the daytime here!). Everyone wins.
One of our splitters is from Radio Shack. It allows three to listen and share one device. I also found dual splitters at the Dollar Spot in the front of Target before Christmas. When your son is with the family, is there content on his iPod that can be shared with his siblings? If you found them listening together, it may actually be a good thing.
PS - what a courageous letter from your Bishop!
God Bless,
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MacBeth
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jenngm67 wrote:
In short, don't buy something handheld that is video capable.
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But see, here's the thing...just because there is no blocking technology does not mean we must avoid the video iPod. Too many people depend on blocking technology instead of personal involvement with their kids. And too often, kids can get around whatever blockers you have.
Nothing replaces the parent. As homeschoolers, we are closer than most to our kids, so I don't think this is such a big issue for us.
The videos that Libby has on her iPod are usually lectures or concerts, or little films she has made for herself. But I know what's on her iPod, and I much prefer her to be communicating with me than to rely on some blocking program (which may not be as strict as I am, anyway)  .
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MacBeth
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Current video on Libby's iPod:
"A quoi ca sert lŽAmour?"
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MacBeth in NY
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JennGM
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MacBeth wrote:
jenngm67 wrote:
In short, don't buy something handheld that is video capable.
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But see, here's the thing...just because there is no blocking technology does not mean we must avoid the video iPod. Too many people depend on blocking technology instead of personal involvement with their kids. And too often, kids can get around whatever blockers you have.
Nothing replaces the parent. As homeschoolers, we are closer than most to our kids, so I don't think this is such a big issue for us.
The videos that Libby has on her iPod are usually lectures or concerts, or little films she has made for herself. But I know what's on her iPod, and I much prefer her to be communicating with me than to rely on some blocking program (which may not be as strict as I am, anyway) . |
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Well, you're right. The way the bishop wrote his letter I got the impression that not much video was out there that COULD fit on a handheld, except porn. I stand corrected.
Is there a capability on some of these handhelds to download video without a list or computer...as a stand-alone? That was what I read as a precaution...your child could be out and receive before you see a list or preview.
But you've straightened me out. Nothing replaces a parent, I agree. I was like Libby, classical and folk music that I listened to. I would go ga-ga at all the choices now if I was her age. You need to know your child (which you do). And I agree with you that most of the warning doesn't apply to you. I want to keep the lines of communication open with my ds, like I did with my mother.
I wouldn't depend on the blocking software for the Internet completely, but there is reason to have it. Many of these porn sites use cover-up names, pop-up ads, spam with porn. A visual picture, even seen briefly, is very hard to erase.
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Elizabeth
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I guess I need to know exactly how to see everything on an iPod. I'm not exactly a liberal parent but I'm also not as technically savvy as my kids. And while I might post here often, that's really all the time I spend on the computer (though that blogroll is really calling incessantly  ). I need an education. I can't stay ahead of them...not only that, theoretically, I'd have to either listen to every single song on his iPod or be thoroughly familiar with all the music out there. This is daunting, no?
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Elizabeth
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Oh, and right now, he has an ancient cellphone with no capability to do anything but receive phone calls and text messages and an audio-only iPod.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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JennGM
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I can't stay ahead of them...not only that, theoretically, I'd have to either listen to every single song on his iPod or be thoroughly familiar with all the music out there. This is daunting, no? |
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Chuckling to myself. Just make sure that all his music artists have the last names like Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Bizet, Tchaichovsky, Gershwin.... 
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Mary G
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And like many things -- the name may sound like a crazy awful band and turn out to be a really popular and good Christian rock group -- you just can't tell.....
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MaryG
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MacBeth
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jenngm67 wrote:
Well, you're right. The way the bishop wrote his letter I got the impression that not much video was out there that COULD fit on a handheld, except porn. I stand corrected. |
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Oh he's right in this way: The porn is easy to get, and free to start...converting other video files is time consuming (gives Don something to do). One can buy iPod videos already made, but they cost money, and it seems like a waste to put a movie on the tiny screen. But converting concerts and performances, or the odd video file to iPod is our intention.
jenngm67 wrote:
| Is there a capability on some of these handhelds to download video without a list or computer...as a stand-alone? That was what I read as a precaution...your child could be out and receive before you see a list or preview. |
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Could be. I think anything is possible.
jenngm67 wrote:
| But you've straightened me out. |
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Nah. Just wanted to remind you that we really agree . And you are correct in taking the bishop's warning to heart. It's just another little corner of this new techno-world that we have to patrol.
jenngm67 wrote:
| I wouldn't depend on the blocking software for the Internet completely, but there is reason to have it. Many of these porn sites use cover-up names, pop-up ads, spam with porn. A visual picture, even seen briefly, is very hard to erase. |
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That's totally true, but I use that for myself, as well as for the kids! Yuck.
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MacBeth in NY
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MacBeth
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Mary G. wrote:
| And like many things -- the name may sound like a crazy awful band and turn out to be a really popular and good Christian rock group -- you just can't tell..... |
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Funny point, Mary.
I think that if you have a family ipod, the kids know that you might be using it too, and that helps keep things well monitored.
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MacBeth in NY
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MaryM
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lilac hill wrote:
| That said, a friend suggested that the rule is, no ear plugs when we are talking, yes that means both are out!I am enforcing that rule. |
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My older boys gave me these Zits Comic Gift Cards as a last minute Christmas present - check out the second from the right one. Fits the conversation.
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teachingmyown
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One thing about the play list on the iPods or MP3s that I didn't realize, the kids can write whatever they want as the group and title. It is not necessarily what is really on there. Unfortunately, that means I actually have to listen to what is on the device.
I think the worry about both the music and the video is that they can download it from someone else's computer and if you aren't checking constantly you can miss something bad.
I hate the earplugs too. I have had to repeatedly order them out of Charlie's ears when he is conversing with me. And he does turn it way too loud, so it is dangerous to his hearing.
Just one more thing, isn't it? 
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mumofsix
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I wish he were our bishop! He cares, actually cares, about children and young people.
Yes, this is one more thing.
Having a son who was able at age 16 to disable Norton parental control software, I do know that these kinds of safeguards are not the whole answer. They are useful, they can slow down a child bent on mischief, but a clever, technically savvy child can beat them, or ours certainly could.
The whole answer is parental care and control plus winning the child's heart so that he really does not want to do anything that would seriously grieve his parents. An important plank in achieving this is to limit ALL electronic means of entertainment and communication to sensible limits. (These limits will vary from family to family, but in our family we have found that the amount of time spent this way has to be quite small.) A child gazing at TV or videos, plugged into an iPod or emailing other teenagers is not interacting with his family. If this is taking up more than a small amount of his time, it will be detrimental to family bonds. I think boys are particularly prone to this. As much as possible of the use of electronic media should be family-centred, such as watching a movie together, playing a game together, etc.
Sometimes putting in controls does not work, to the extent that the child constantly complains and fights every restriction. ("You said 30 minutes, it's only 29", that kind of thing.) Then I think a complete fast from electronic media for everyone is called for. Six weeks sounds a biblical sort of period. Lent is coming up!
Jane.
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Bridget
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I was at a party this Christmas talking to a lovely Catholic lady. She was telling me about her grown son who goes to work at a car lot then comes home (he lives at her home) and just does online gaming all evening and weekend. Nothing else, no life. He is a good looking man who had every opportunity growing up.
She was nearly begging me to keep my boys off the computer, TV and electronic games. It's too easy for them and they become too lazy to make an effort at anything real. She was so sad.
I know this is just one case but it really made an impact on me.
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momwise
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I'm the last person to respond to being technically savvy . We don't have any iPods, etc. but I'm sure at some point when the children can afford their own we'll have to deal with it.
I just wanted to comment on how the Bishop's letter touched me. It struck me as poignant for an American bishop to issue such a fatherly warning (is there something wrong with that picture?). It also seems like issuing the letter on Dec. 9, when most every parent has done their shopping (and no iPods were to be found) is a metaphor for what the bishops have been doing since Roe vs. Wade: staying silent and out of touch until it's way too late. Nevertheless, I so appreciate this shepherd's caring and concern for his sheep (we have another caring shepherd here in our diocese  ).
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: iPods
