| Author | |
DeAnn M
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 18 2007
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 188
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 9:21pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
My perfect day would begin with prayer/spiritual reading time, exercise and then a shower--all before my six little blessings open their sweet, sleepy, little eyes. That would require a wake-up time of about 5:00 AM...maybe earlier.
I really love the mornings...especially before everyone else is awake.
Like you guys, however, I have spent the last 12 years of my life sleep-deprived, exhausted, and begging God for just five more minutes of sleep in the morning. I clamor out of bed and stumble down to the kitchen bleary-eyed and grumpy...not ready to face the onslaught of spilled OJ, cereal all over the floor and my happy, loud youngsters being cute, but LOUD. I know that if I could just get up before them, my days would be much smoother, but I just can't seem to make it happen.
Anyway, back to my question. Do you rise before your children? If you are seriously sleep-deprived, how on earth do you drag yourself out of bed? How do you motivate yourself to die to yourself in this way? I know I may be completely lacking in discipline and self-absorbed about how much sleep I am NOT getting, but I'm just wondering what has worked for others.
Blessings,
DeAnn
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stephanie_Q
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 25 2007
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 479
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 9:28pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I feel like I need to...and days go much better when I do...but making it happen every day has not been happening here, either.
__________________
Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KauaiCatholic
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 25 2009
Location: Hawaii
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
wow ... I'm with you, DeAnn. this has been on my heart ever since someone posted about sleeping in vs. getting up even though no one needed her yet. I stayed out of that discussion because all I could add was sarcastic quips like "well, of COURSE you should sleep in! why would you even ask such a question!" which isn't very helpful. 
but ever since then, as I am trying to drag myself from the depths of exhaustion to address my sweet family's needs, I think about it. so I'm looking forward to hearing motivational tips from those who are more graced in this area than I.
FWIW: my DS wakes up at least an hour before the rest of us. he's usually pretty good at entertaining himself (except when he's not ...), but I still feel guilty if I stay in bed. I haven't even contemplated getting up BEFORE him ... 
__________________
Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 10:47pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
DeAnn-
Do you know how much sleep you need to feel rested?
How much are you actually getting?
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Recent thread: To Sleep or Not to Sleep has some good discussion about this.
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
folklaur
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2816
|
| Posted: July 28 2009 at 11:22pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
nope. not usually. they get up (especially ds) much too early (unless we have somewhere to be - that almost guarantees they my always-early-risers will sleep in.)
they can get breakfast, get dressed, etc. on their own. i am okay with that, as i need quite awhile to wake up and be human. i am so very much not a morning person, and i am not able to nap, and if i don't get enough sleep, i will get a migraine.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 12:18am | IP Logged
|
|
|
the only way to manage that on a regular basis would be disiplining, not myself to get up earlier because after the first few days the kids get up when I do anyway, but the children that they had to stay in bed until a set time. And I just don't want to do that so, we make do without that.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
DeAnn M
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 18 2007
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 188
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 7:01am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Duh...how did I miss that other thread? I thought I looked over the other topics so that I didn't repeat the same sort of question. Sorry! Must be sleep deprivation. 
Suzanne, to answer your question, I just don't know. It's been so long since I've had a full night's sleep that I don't even know how much I need. More than four would be nice. Somewhere between 7 and 8 seems heavenly.
Thanks Ladies,
DeAnn
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Red Cardigan
Forum Pro
Joined: June 16 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 470
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 12:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Not usually, and I haven't for years. I'm a serious night owl, though, and once my children were old enough we worked out things that would work for all of us.
One thing I learned is that my oldest dd has a kind of "sensor" that used to alert her to when I was getting up. I was *trying* so hard to get up before the kids so I could have some quiet time, but she was always up with me. So I tried getting up at 6:30--and she'd be awake at 6. Then I tried getting up at 6, and she started being awake at 5:30. It was when I reluctantly set my alarm for 5:30 only to have her start waking up at 5 that I threw in the towel--my getting up earlier was only resetting *her* schedule to be earlier and earlier each day! Instead, I taught her how to pour a bowl of cereal and gave her ideas for what to do until the rest of us got up, and she went back to sleeping in till between 6:30 and 7 each day instead of waking up at 5.
Now, years later, my teen and preteen girls have been enjoying their lazy summer mornings. But something funny happened recently--I've been getting up to make dh some coffee to take to work, b/c they switched to this awful stuff where he works. For about two mornings I could sneak out into the dark, quiet kitchen to do this alone--but after that, just like the old days, I was being met in the hall or even in the kitchen by my oldest dd, who has become alert to my getting up and is setting her internal clock exactly like she used to back when she was six years old! 
I mention this just to point out that it's not always possible for us to adhere to some kind of "ideal" schedule, but that Danielle Bean's principle, "Do what works best for your family," can be a pretty good guide.
__________________
http://www.redcardigan.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
DeAnn~
I think you're getting ahead of yourself asking if you should be getting up with your dc.
I think you've identified the problem.....You're not getting enough sleep. Right?
Now, can you define that a bit further? WHY are you not getting enough sleep? Can you list the myriad of reasons why? If not, can you describe the following to us:
**Your bedtime
**Each of your children's bedtimes
**Who (what age) is waking up during the night, how many times and why?
**Your wake time
**Each of your children's wake times and what they do when they get up
**Anything pertinent about your dh's routine that effects the rest of the family's
That's a lot, but really is the very beginning of trying to problem-solve this. 4-5 hours of sleep on a regular basis is not a good recipe for a home educating mommy. Maybe we can help break it down a bit, so you can start in little bits.
Sleep/Bedtimes/Routines-am & pm is always a priority for us once we begin to "dig out" of survival mode....my dh and I forego everything else except Mass and eating in order to focus on the routines that allows mom and dad enough sleep to be functional.....otherwise, everything else starts to fall apart and it ain't pretty.
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
juststartn
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 17 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1321
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 3:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sleep. Ah well...
I don't have any real advice...cause I am usually awakened by the screaming of my twin 2 yos (they don't wake up talking and happy--they wake up thoroughly peeved and angry at the world). Or by DH groaning his way out of bed (bad back from years of jumping out of perfectly good airplanes for Uncle Sam).
I average about 7 hrs of sleep a night. And that is if the ds' don't wake me up once or more during the night (only occasionally, but often enough..iykwim). I cannot go to sleep immediately after the girls go to bed (around 9), because frankly, getting them to bed is the first "alone" time I've had since I got up that morning...and I need it to 'destress' a bit, before I try to sleep...which means at least an hour, and usually closer to two, before I can get into bed.
I can occasionalllllly catch a nap mid-morning when the boys have gone back to bed, and the girls are either napping themselves, reading, or...reading. LOL. They read A LOT (thank goodness, lol).
But in general, I don't get a nap. And yes, I am a night owl, which exacerbates the problem.
I suppose if I made sure that everything I 'could' do for breakfast,etc, was set up the night before, then I might alleviate some of the stresses of the morning. Might. But then again, I figure something else would rear its ugly head. SIGH
Rachel
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
cornomama4
Forum Pro
Joined: June 20 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 189
|
| Posted: July 29 2009 at 11:17pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I have had "babies" in the bed with me for the last 9 years. I get up with someone at least once every night, sometimes twice. It's quick, but it's up!
My issue is that when I work, I'm home at 11 p.m. and am usually all fired up until 12 or 1 (I'm a musician). Or if I'm not working, I'm waiting up for dh until then and we always end up chatting even if I planned to go to bed earlier. My kids go to bed at 10 or 10:30 and are good about sleeping until 8-9 UNLESS I decide to actually get up. Then the littlest senses I'm not there and wakes up. I feel resentment that my effort to get up is a little useless, as it is a real effort for me!
This all worked OK actually until we moved from "town" to a farm (this is another post entirely.) Now I have to get up and do the chores..feed animals including 3 bottle calves, bring the dogs in from the goat field, feed chickens, etc. If I'm out doing this and the baby (ds2) wakes then dh is annoyed because he's usually up at 7 getting in some ebay time. He posts early because then the auctions close out in the evening for his Asian customers  Since the farm is currently a hobby (not generating $$ yet) I see his point.
If I had my way we'd all sleep until 9 or 10 but whenever I do get up and do stuff before the kids arise I feel like I've got such a jump on the day. Usually I do get a nap, even for 20 minutes, if I'm up early.
This is really a lot of info about my situation, but one common piece of advice I'd offer that I'm trying to remember is that there is a season for everything. Right now I've got one little guy who really wants mama all the time but this will pass (all too soon I'm sure!) So I cut out some nonessential chores, like letting the goats dry up after this set of kids since milking 2X a day took almost an hour and a lot of frustration keeping kids and dogs away from me. I've also found that ds2 really needs me at certain times of the day (like when he first gets up) but later will play for an hour with the others. Then I can catch up on housework or make calls or whatever.
I don't know what ages your kids are (DeAnn) but is there anything you can do to get a little extra rest? Like put a baby in bed and just snooze around with them? Are you willing to pop in a video (educational of course ) and crash nearby while they watch. TV is getting less and less here as the kids get older, but sometimes I really need them to be occupied for the random half hour. The less I have it on, the more "occupied" they are when they finally get to view it.
I'm rambling, I must be sleep deprived too! No, it's that I had a rehearsal and got home at 11
Look for ways to sneak a little rest into your day. Put your feet up during lunch or lie on the floor while playing with blocks or whatever. Sometimes I even had a "mother's helper" come over while I was doing something like the taxes...I usually ended up taking a nice nap!
cm4
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stephanie_Q
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 25 2007
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 479
|
| Posted: July 30 2009 at 8:37am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Can't believe that I missed this, too.
I appreciate all the great quotes on mortification and St. Francis de Sales recommendations, which I have read and is why I've been feeling that I should be doing this, too. However, I gave up because a) I'm pregnant b) it's summer, and c) this happens to me with my 2nd dd, too:
Red Cardigan wrote:
One thing I learned is that my oldest dd has a kind of "sensor" that used to alert her to when I was getting up. I was *trying* so hard to get up before the kids so I could have some quiet time, but she was always up with me. |
|
|
When I get up early, another resets to get up earlier, so I should just sleep as long as I can...so we all get enough rest. a) is a legitimate reason to get more sleep, b) is just an excuse. I'm wondering, now, though, if that c) is God's will. Rather than fighting it, accept that he wants her to wake me up and spend some time together in the morning praying together & some one-on-one time for her to learn to help me with morning chores. Perhaps I should just set my alarm for 1/2 an hour after I should get up.
__________________
Stephaniedh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: July 30 2009 at 9:06am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Red Cardigan wrote:
| One thing I learned is that my oldest dd has a kind of "sensor" that used to alert her to when I was getting up. I was *trying* so hard to get up before the kids so I could have some quiet time, but she was always up with me. |
|
|
This was happening with me too for a couple years. So, I prioritized my time at night, knowing I wouldn't have the time in the am alone, and I stayed up later, but I also slept later and got up with the kids.
**My independent chores, b-fast prep, shower, prayer, reading, talking w/dh, prep for the next day.......those things all got moved to the night before.
**So, when I got out of bed in the am, my job was to get dressed, brush my hair/teeth, and then attend to the troops. That was it.
It doesn't matter WHEN you start your day or IF you are getting up before your kids.....but simply that it's CONSIDERED, implemented, and then obeyed. It doesn't matter if you start your day at 5 am or 10 am, as long as everyone is getting a reasonable amount of sleep, you're obeying your bedtime, and it's not wreaking havoc in your family. You're striving to bring a sense of peace to everything amidst the chaos and doing what you're supposed to do at that particular time because that's what God is telling you your family needs right now. Sometimes it's lots of time in the am....sometimes none at all.
::Have I prayerfully considered everyone's sleep habits and needs?
::Have I thought about and implemented reasonable routines to get everyone to bed when needed?
::Have I thought about and implemented reasonable routines to get everyone moving in the morning?
::Have I ordered my own routines and sleep schedule to accomodate my family and fulfill my duties?
::Did I go to sleep when I should?
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LucyP
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 05 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 791
|
| Posted: July 30 2009 at 1:40pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
No - I sleep in the same bed as my children, and they wake at the crack of dawn, and even if I sleep in a different room they either come looking for me or run out the minute they hear me move. Once I let go of the whole expectation that I needed a private time with God to start my day I found He gave me abundant grace through our shared daily prayer routine. I personally would like a chance to get up early and get on with some household tasks, but that just isn't going to happen here.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Red Cardigan
Forum Pro
Joined: June 16 2007
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 470
|
| Posted: July 30 2009 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just to clarify--I didn't stop trying to get up before my early riser b/c I wanted private time and wasn't getting it--I stopped trying to get up before my early riser b/c her schedule adjustments were eventually making her get up at 5 a.m.--which made her pretty cranky by evening.
I just figured that if I went back to sleeping until 7 or so (back then ) she'd go back to sleeping until 6:30, which would give her enough sleep to get through the day without melting down after dinner.  And that worked, and was the best way for our family at the time.
__________________
http://www.redcardigan.blogspot.com
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Do you wake up before your kids?
