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Syncletica
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
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to a nearby park by themselves?
....edited.
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Nique
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 10:42pm | IP Logged
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Quote:
| I just hate the fact that I'm almost 31, and still get in trouble for certain things I do as a parent...) |
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I hear you Syncletica! I'm 39 and finally, FINALLY becoming brave enough to voice my own opinions - in small doses, of course  to my Mom! You gotta pick your battles, you know (wink).
YOU are the Mom here! You know your kids better than anyone else (even well intended relatives). Trust your instincts! You are your child's guardian! And you are doing an exceptional job, if you ask me 
I think I'd feel comfortable letting my kids go WITH OTHER KIDS the same age, at around the age of 12.
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 10:45pm | IP Logged
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Well, my oldest is 11, and dh and I are just considering letting him go to our town pool (about 1 block away) by himself. I def. think the standards for modern parenting are different from when we were kids, but they are what they are. I certainly would have been at the park at these young ages, but don't feel comfortable letting my kids go.
FWIW, I think your decision sounds reasonable. Whenever my familiy critiques my parenting, which doesn't happen often, but does happen, I just tell them that these are the decisions that DH and I think are best.
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Noreen
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
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I don't have a neighborhood park, but if I did, I wouldn't allow them to go alone, and I mean in pairs at least, until the older child was 12 or 13. Yes, I am overprotective, but the world is not safe. Even as a child, my mother never would have let us go somewhere at the ages of your kids, and that was back when all the moms were home and the families knew each other.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 10:55pm | IP Logged
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NO WAY do my kids head to a park without me at that age...I have a 12 yo and she doesn't go to the park by herself!!!!! It's basic safety!!! End of discussion for anyone who wants to bring it up!
Besides, I'd miss out on the fun if I didn't go!  
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guitarnan
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I will not leave my 11 y.o. anywhere except her dance studio. Not our pool, not a park, nowhere. I will let her look at pet food and accessories in the grocery store (I am typically two aisles away) and that's about it for independent exploring.
It is not safe, where I live, to let young children go anywhere alone. Between gangs and awful people, too many bad things can happen.
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Michaela
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 11:00pm | IP Logged
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Nique wrote:
| YOU are the Mom here! You know your kids better than anyone else (even well intended relatives). Trust your instincts! |
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Absolutely! You know your children and your neighborhood.
When Nicholas was 8/9yo...there is no way I would have let him go alone or with his younger siblings. He still trusts everyone and wouldn't think of anyone as dangerous (stanger danger), but a potential friend.
My children have just started going down the street to a friend's house and the park by her house. Much later in age than I was able to run the neighborhood as a child, but it's because of those experiences I waited so long. I'm not ashamed of it. I heard gentle questions about why, and once I reminded family about what happened to me....there was no further questioning the decision I had come to.
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Matilda
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I'm with Jennifer. My kids don't go to parks alone, ever. I hate having to let my 11 yo. boy go to the men's room by himself (but I do). It's a different world today than when I grew up or when my parents grew up. Safety first!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
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your area will have a big impact on what age it would be safe for.. the actual distance from you.. and the particular children.. (for comparison at what age would it be safe and legal for you to leave them home alone while you went to a close store)
but in general I find that there's a balance between where I am comfortable and where the kids want to be.. they can't do as much as they think they should be able to and I let them do a bit more than I am completely comfortable with
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Willa
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We lived across the street from a park in our old home and it was only when my oldest was nine that I even considered letting him go across there with a friend of his own age I trusted. And even then, I didn't allow it very often and only when I knew I was going to have the time and focus to check on them regularly (I could basically see them if I went out in the front yard).
I didn't feel over-protective about it either. When I was nine I went all over the place but it was quite a different world -- neighbors still kept an eye on other peoples' kids, the streets were basically family-oriented, people knew each other, etc.
We live in the mountains now and the younger kids do get to go out of my eyesight when they're with an older sibling but not really when they're by themselves.
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: July 12 2009 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
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Matilda wrote:
| I hate having to let my 11 yo. boy go to the men's room by himself (but I do). |
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I agree! This is almost worse than the thought of him being at the pool himself!
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Noreen
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lapazfarm
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Not at that age. No way.
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Paula in MN
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We live 15 miles from the nearest town, so it's not even an option for us. If we were in town, I wouldn't let them go alone. I don't let them go down our long driveway alone, but we do have bears....
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jdostalik
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I just let my oldest (just turned 14) walk to our park (five minutes away from our home) with her best friend a few months ago. And I made her take a cell phone... My 11, soon to be 12 year old dd has been begging and I don't have peace about sending her with her sister, even...so she's on hold...There are too many bad things that could happen...
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 13 2009 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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I let my 13 yr old and 11 yr old walk from my mom's neighborhood pool to her house the other day. It is about a 15 minute walk through a quiet neighborhood, but I was so nervous! They called as soon as they got there, my dad was there.
This is the same pool and same house that I walked in between every summer day when I was a kid, starting around age 10, even by myself. Things are different.
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Taffy
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This really depends on where you are. I do let my kids go to the park a block away on their own occasionally. But, you have to keep in mind that I currently live in a village of less than 200 people and know my neighbours fairly well. We are fortunate to live in an area where neighbours do look out for each other still. The kids are generally on a "curfew" of sorts when they go and usually have to be back in an hour (or less).
HOWEVER, if we lived in the neighbouring town, I'd be more protective. We are also moving quite a distance away to a village of about the same size as where we are now and the kids won't be allowed to roam for quite some time yet.
I don't think you are being over-protective at all. Sadly, it is like Lord of the Flies on too many playgrounds when children are left unsupervised. 
ETA - I've been far stricter about letting the kids head out to the park beyond my sight lately. We've had notices posted around about a convicted pedophile living in our area who is at high risk to re-offend. What truly frightens me, however, are all the unsupervised children who wander around our little village unsupervised during the day. I've let them play in our yard quite often and am shocked with how little concern their parents have regarding their whereabouts. The neighbour's 2 year-old wandered over here on her own just the other day. I was busy but tried to phone her parents ASAP. No one answered the phone. When I walked the girl home a half-hour later, her mom wasn't even upset that the girl was missing. She thought the girl's 4 year old brother was watching her. Absolutely breaks my heart.
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JennGM
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Where I live, I wouldn't allow them to go. We just got notice that there were two attempted abductions in less than a month by our neighborhood pool -- children walking alone to go to the pool. It's an otherwise quiet, peaceful neighborhood, so this was a reinforcement to our decision that we can't allow them out of our sight.
It's not that we don't trust our kids, it is today's society. I even ask my parents and MIL -- if they were raising their children today there would be less "freedom" because of the wackos out there.
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LisaD
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No, I wouldn't let children that age walk places alone. My 10 y.o. walks down the street to her friend's house, but I can see her the entire way from our front yard.
I can't say I'd ever let my kids be at the park near to us alone, until they were older teens (and then they won't want to go).
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Kathryn UK
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I wouldn't let mine go to the park at that age, and we live in a safe area where most of the kids (mine included) have a lot of freedom to go places alone. At ten I would let them go to the park so long as there were at least two or three of them, but not younger (unless with a responsible older sibling).
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juststartn
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Not only no, but HAIL NO! (pardon me).
I think a big part of parental 'commentary' on these things, is that things are vastly different now than they were when we were the young ones going off to play, etc. I roamed all over my neighborhood, etc. Never had a problem. Crossed major streets walking to school before I was 10 (always with a group of other dc, and my siblings, too), but man, these days? NO WAY would I let my dc do that. DH would probably have less of a problem than I would, but the schools/parks/etc are not within walking distance for us, so it is really a non-issue.
I'd not be letting them go alone for a long time...a LOOOONG time. Like "why don't you get in the car and drive yourself there" age. LOL. Maybe in pairs (if nothing else, there'd be a witness if something happened)...but not alone. No way Jose.
Rachel
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: When do you let your children go
