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LucyP
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| Posted: May 22 2009 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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We went to a home education event at a museum today. I was very proud of DS aged 5 who even though he is very shy made friends with another boy, who was a bit older - maybe 8? They played together and stood chatting, and then as I was talking to my friend on our picnic rug I suddenly heard a snatch of the conversation between the boys - the other boy was saying "well, you would go to hell if you were a serial killer, but if you killed one person you wouldn't" and DS was arguing back, "yes you would". So I went over in as quick yet casual manner as I could and asked what they were chatting about and the boy then told me DS had asked him if he knew about God, and that the other boy had told my son about vampires, serial killers, watching 18 certificate films, about "when the devil dies", and that the devil isn't "as bad as you might think, only a bit bad" and that he knows all about the devil. 
I feel just horrified. I thought I was protecting DS from that kind of influence by not putting him in our local sink estate schools, and there in a beautiful walled garden of a museum, surrounded by wholesome Christian home educators and sweet earth mother types, our son found the child of "one of those mothers" - which sounds horrible, but honestly as if our 5 year old needs to know all that!
I'm usually very vigilant but this time I totally failed. DS and I had a long talk about how this boy isn't bad but the things he says and knows about are not true, are not things that please God and are not things that are good for DS so they can't be friends. And thankfully, DS stood his ground and argued forcefully for the fact that the devil is bad and he didn't really understand what vampires or serial killers are.
But honestly, what can you do? I wanted him to play and socialise, I was so proud that my anxious, shy little man was able to find a way into the circle and make a friend, and it all went wrong. How can you supervise in that kind of situation? Now I am wondering about when the children "make friends" at the park or social events etc - how can I let them leave my side? This was a wake up call to me - someone could say something terrible, or even do something terrible and it only takes a minute out of sight with a child you assume is a nice child...
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: May 22 2009 at 4:16pm | IP Logged
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Hugs to you.
Weirdly enough, this happened to me when my oldest was 5! We were at a park day and a sweet 8-9ish yr old girl was chatting with my ds and another 5 yr old. Turns out she was telling them all about gods and goddesses (not like the Greeks, but as in "you can be one too!").
There are all kinds of folks who homeschool. Sounds like your son handled himself just fine. Its likely that it won't happen again. Its not the norm. But it can be unnerving. At that same park day I was surrounded by some very boisterous pro choice hs moms who also thought that anything but radical unschooling would break a child's spirit, etc etc etc.
I found another park day...
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: May 22 2009 at 6:01pm | IP Logged
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I worry about these same things myself - just because I can control a certain amount of my son's experiences, can I have enough influence to protect him on the rest? I just have to keep praying to his guardian angel....
I recall one day at a park, when my son was about 1 or 2 - we were just there for the fun of it. This little girl (4? 5?) saw the cross around my neck and asked me why I wore it. I told her it reminded of Somebody wonderful. She said, "No, that's the sign of someone very bad - his name was Jesus and he was evil!" My reply: "I'm sorry you think that; maybe someday you'll get to know Him for yourself and you'll see who he REALLY is." She said: "I don't THINK so!" in a very matter of fact tone.
She tried to play with Joshua and she seemed so irked that I kept intruding on every conversation she tried to strike up with him.
You know though... if *those* mothers can have such a strong influence and have such adamant chidren, why do we doubt our ability? We just need to make sure we are as adamant and alive with our faith as they are about theirs. Tall order. 
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Bella
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| Posted: May 23 2009 at 12:57am | IP Logged
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I'm sorry this happened to both of you!! These situations,too, make me so angry, feel vulnerable, and...helpless. I do agree, that this is just *one* example of why we must always pray to our dc's Guardian Angel.
I always feel so lost, when I am forced to have an unexpected "teachable moment" and the ever constant reminder of why I parent the way I do....rarely letting my guard down. It can be so frustrating, so exhausting.
It sounds like you did everything you could do, and it's all about damage control-which you are working on.
Big  to you.
Prayers for your ds-bless his precious heart!! Prayers for that little boy,too. 
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Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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Jody
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| Posted: May 23 2009 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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I am just so proud of your son! 
He held his ground even when he liked having a new friend. He held his ground even when the other child was older and your son was not intimidated by that.
The enemy tried a sneak attack and your son was prepared for the battle, you had prepared him well and he won the fight! You did not fail, you won!
Yes it makes you feel vulnerable and yes we have to be especially vigilante but I say Congrats to you and your son. He was a great witness!! 
God has great plans for him!!
Jody
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Jody,
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Oh my goodness I am MAD!
