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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: May 20 2009 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
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Ok. I have finally acquiesced. A very good friend of mine has been making a BIG deal about the fact that I always wear skirts and "everyone" thinks I am amish, mormon, organic, frumpish, etc. Now, ordinarily I let these comments slip right off, but (because of various other events I won't get into), I think God is telling me to listen to this particular friend. I take personal offense to the frumpish accusation because I have striven to avoid that look in my choice to go all-skirts (going on 3 years now). But I do think there is SOMETHING that needs improvement. I want to look "feminine".
But I think I have figured out, it's not the skirts so much - I checked all the past threads where ladies here have purchased beautiful skirts and any skirt I wear in public is represented somewhere on those pages (even though I purchase through thrift stores only).
So it's not the skirts that are the problem - but my TOPS. Blouses, shirts, whatever.
SO.... I am hoping a few of you might have some guidance for me. This friend wants to help update my wardrobe, so I can step out of thrift stores for a short time. (what a treat!) I prefer 3/4 to full length sleeves and a higher neckline (though I detest anything that feels like a turtleneck). I am definitely slender - and short - and no real, ummm, top-heaviness to speak of (enough to nurse my son and that's it!). My biggest problem in finding tops I will actually wear is that I also don't like the feel of anything too close to my underarms - I really need things loose in that area.
So nothing against the neck, but space under the arms....
But does such a top exist???? That doesn't look like it came out of the 70s???? Or even a sewing pattern (all the shirt patterns I've followed are too tight (for me!) under the arms and I don't know how to adjust for that... Yes, I'm that inept at patterns.
Anyone?
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 20 2009 at 8:39pm | IP Logged
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hmm you say you're thin but you might consider looking at the smaller "plus size" clothing. Because often the tops are made to fit the shoulders and then looser in the body.. you might find that also means looser under the arms.
But I'm probably the last person to ask for fashion sense  
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 20 2009 at 10:27pm | IP Logged
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What is it about the underarms that you don't care for? a general tightness and binding? I'm wondering if you are just getting a few ill-fitting or poorly made garments?
I shop the thrift stores myself, and I think you'll be able to do that again once you determine a style/cut/brand that fits you, but for now, I'd head to a few department stores. I like Stein Mart - I don't know if you have one in your area. They have a number of 3/4 sleeve shirts which I prefer as well and I haven't had a problem with a binding feeling under the arms. I think I'm average-ish build...and about a size 8. I haven't shopped at Kohls in a long time, but they used to carry some nice shirts that were casual and comfortable, but stylish enough to look put together and not frumpy. A shirt that is of good quality and well made shouldn't bind under the arms. Lands End is another good option..shop from your couch!!
Perhaps just try on a few different blouses from different sources and makers. Look for tailored shirts that are fitted, but aren't intentionally tight. They are harder to find, but they're out there!
Another thing I sometimes do is wear a comfortable shell - usually in neutral color - with a button down oxford shirt or linen shirt open and over the shell. This allows for nursing, provides an extra layer for modesty, and if you choose an oxford shirt one size up, you should be able to avoid that binding feeling. I also enjoy those matching 2-piece top sets. You can find simple, cotton options in a variety of spring-y colors at department stores. This gives a bit more of a put-together look to your outfit, but the cotton is breathable and comfortable.
Your skirts *could* be a problem for you. An A line skirt is often the most flattering, and offers a nice ease of movement. I like that it has a classical line, though the tulip skirts and the multi-gore skirts that are popular now are VERY flattering and slimming. Not that you need the slimming...but a streamlined look that is pulled together with a classic skirt, a tailored top, comfortable but fun shoes (don't be afraid of color in your shoe - this alone can bring an outfit from frumpy to current)...can all update an outfit while still giving it a classical feel.
Consider going shopping and looking for a few matching outfits and try them on and see how they look on your body (I really like Stein Mart for this! They offer a variety of ensembles most of which are quite modest and feminine). Don't buy anything that doesn't feel *YOU* - do you know what I mean? If it feels unnatural in the dressing room, it's likely to stay on the hanger in your closet 'cause you won't feel comfortable.
And, something totally unrelated, but that I thought I'd mention...when was the last time you splurged and had a really good haircut? Treat yourself. This too goes a long way towards a more current look and lifts your smile, I think.
Has this helped at all? Are you looking for anything more specific?
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 7:21am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
What is it about the underarms that you don't care for? a general tightness and binding? I'm wondering if you are just getting a few ill-fitting or poorly made garments?
comfortable but fun shoes (don't be afraid of color in your shoe - this alone can bring an outfit from frumpy to current)
when was the last time you splurged and had a really good haircut? Treat yourself.
Has this helped at all? Are you looking for anything more specific? |
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Yes this has been helpful! Thank you! Food for thought...
I just seem to have a general experience with longer sleeve shirts being too something under the arms - it seems to be a "if it touches at all, I don't like it". I have several tops that are perfect in this area, but I can't find duplicates (the downside of the thrift stores!) and I think they are getting very used/old/worn. :)
I'd never thought about the shoes - I like my sandals, but they are definitely "boring" - black. My previous ones were beige.
The haircut? A week and a half ago on a Friday. (First time in 4 years, minus two teeny tiny trims) - It's still long, but I keep running out of hair before I run out of brush stroke - it will take some time to get used to :)
I do have a couple of wide-shouldered tank tops over which I wear a jacket-type sweater or similar. I'm told that looks nice on me. What's funny is that those tank tops press really hard against the underarms and I have actually take the scissors to them and made the armholes bigger (but it's covered by the jacket sleeves, so it works!).
I'd love any more thoughts from anyone!
Thank you so much!
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Blestwith8
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 10:00am | IP Logged
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I am no fashion icon. My eldest daughter insists I am a hippy. Though I occassionally wear pants or capris ,I lovee my gauzey, wild patterned skirts. My favorite new skirt I found at a Thrift Store. It is the row after row type and was made from those cool 50's Cowboy curtains that would have been in a childs room. My daughter is apalled. I LOVE IT!
Have you tried T-shirts in just one size larger. Again I am with you, thrift stores are the best.
As for hair. Well I have a rebellious streak in me. Someone said that because i am now of a certain age (50) that I must cut my hair (mid back length curretnly). Now I will NEVER cut my hair! all hting considered I am not surpised my daughter calls me a hippy!
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Evette
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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I have found that the best places to find classic and feminine tops and skirts are Lands End and Coldwater Creek. They have great sales (never buy anything at full price). Also, Coldwater Creek sells stylish shoes. I am not a fan of Lands End shoes (they are cute, but they hurt my feet). I have recently had good luck at Kohls, as well.
What I do when I find a top that I just love the fit and look of is I buy it in several different colors and buy multiples of basic colors like white, brown and black.
I do like to shop at thrift stores, but I have found that sometimes I will buy something because it is afforable, but may not be the right style or fit for my body. While that may be good for my pocketbook, it is not so good for my appearance.
 Have fun shopping!
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Becky Le
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 11:35am | IP Logged
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I know you are looking for suggestions for tops for long skirts but another option is dresses. I have found some beautiful long dresses in the past at places like Laura Ashley. They are very feminine and very modest.
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Rachel May
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
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I tried on this blouse the other day and loved it. It has 3/4 length sleeves and the neckline is modest. I like the tonal embroidery and the cool and crisp fabric. To me it says "elegant simplicity." I remember it costing less, but when you are in the store the prices are sometimes different. Anyway, I didn't buy it...because I already have 3 similar tops.
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amarytbc
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 2:32pm | IP Logged
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I have a friend who always looks very stylish in skirts while I look frumpish. We wear similar skirts, but she almost always wears the latest style necklace, usually long, or the latest style of top. She does hunt around for modest modern tops at the mall, which is something some may not want to spend time doing. I think it's actually the necklace that does the trick. The one she had on last week looked a little bit like this
She does make many of them herself--very talented lady.
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: May 21 2009 at 7:47pm | IP Logged
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Shoes make a HUGE difference on whether or not a skirt looks frumpy or not. So....maybe a shoe-eval could be another direction right now.
I like cotton-lycra short sleeve shirts with a stretch cardigan over it. As long as a shirt has some stretch to it, it doesn't bother me under the arms. If not, I hate it and it's very uncomfortable.
Another thought about the underarm thing.....because that is where the fabric and skin touches and rubs a lot......a thrift store shirt with already-worn fabric may be getting rough and "balling-up" (there is a name for that but can't remember right now)......would a brand new shirt with soft fabric not bother you???? Just a thought....to consider the feel of the fabric that may be bothering you, not nec. the tightness. I buy a couple new short sleeve shirts at Old Navy every year, because I like the feel of new fabric, and then look for the cardigans, etc.....at thrift stores.
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: June 12 2009 at 10:39pm | IP Logged
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You ladies are SO WONDERFUL! THANK YOU!!!! 
I still have not found a pair of sandals that I'm totally sold on, because I somehow have this image of a particular shade of peach/orange that would not be too gaudy, but would be "colorful" - I've not found it yet though!
But I did freshen up the tops, with some nice blouses and some 3/4 and long-sleeve t-shirts that don't "look" like t-shirts (if that makes sense - they just look nice).
I have also found 3 nice jacket-type things that work great for wearing over a wide-shouldered tank top. And that REALLY helps the underarm feel. Yay!
Overall, I feel so much better about my wardrobe - and my skirts don't look so frumpish anymore!
So thank you all again! You're great!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Tops for long skirts
