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amyable
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
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Your mom/sis/bro/friend calls and asks how you are feeling, and even though you ache all over and have been listening to the blood pound in your ears all day, you say, "Fine! Things are good."
Your mom/sis/bro/friend calls and asks how the kids are doing and even though they've been fighting like cats and dogs, the toddler just streaked by without a diaper and has learned how to climb out of his crib so spends his "naptime" either crying, trying to escape, or destroying your bedrooms ...you say "Fine! Things are good!"
Your mom/sis/bro/friend calls and asks how homeschooling is going and even though you "gave up" and ditched the year 75% finished because you were totally burnt out, and your dyslexic dd is not making any headway, and your littles are being ignored too much, you say, "Fine! Things are good! I think we're done for the year."
Tell me I'm not the only one. My dh wonders why my phone calls with my family are so short. This is why. 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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Discretion being the better part of valor.. ummm YEP
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mackfam
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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YES, Amy!!! In varying degrees with different people.
It's called an internal filter and you've got one. 
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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anitamarie
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
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If I don't then I get an earful on how I "should" be doing things. I find it better to just listen to what they have to say. Then they think I'm just the most wonderful daughter/sis/friend. 
Anita
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 4:04pm | IP Logged
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That reminds me of the Jane Austen quote "Those who do not complain are never pitied."
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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folklaur
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 4:37pm | IP Logged
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Yes. (Well, not my Mom, I tell her the real deal, but yes to most everyone else.)
For a few reasons...if anything is wrong in my life, not homeschooling is sure to fix the problem <insert eye roll here.>
And, for another, explaining is just too exhausting for me.
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Anne McD
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
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yep! I don't want the advice, and if I tell them things are going south every time they are, then I'm told to stop homeschooling, hire a housekeeper (again, I don't need a cleaning lady, I need a pickup lady!) and start discipling my children more.
Sigh.
I also don't want to sound like one of those old ladies, when asked how they are, they sigh and tell you all. about. it. 
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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stellamaris
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 4:46pm | IP Logged
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I remember an old saying that goes something like,
"When people ask, "How do you do?"
Don't talk of your digestion.
"How are you?" is a greeting;
It is not a question."
This helps me realize that my loved ones are only wanting to engage in conversation with me; they are not asking for all the "dirty" details, and it's OK not to spill my guts to them. Save the gut-spilling for those people in your life who can truly understand your values and be supportive of your choices.Like the 4Real ladies On the other hand, perhaps your family just wants to be there for you and you could say something like, "It's been a tough day here," if you think they would be supportive. It takes a lot of prudence to be real with your family, but not open yourself up to attack.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Tami
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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Yes, Amy, yes!!
I call it my 'administrative answer.'
For people in my life that are closer, I will sometimes say, "Do you want to know the truth or what I tell everybody?"
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God bless,
Tami
When we are crushed like grapes, we cannot think of the wine we will become. (Nouwen)
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Taffy
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
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Yes Amy, you're not alone!
And I just might use that line Tami!... "Do you want to know the truth or what I tell everybody?"
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
Susan's Soliloquy
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stacykay
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:38pm | IP Logged
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All the time. But it can backfire when there is a hard time that comes up, and others haven't even a smidgen of an iota of an idea just what you go through on a daily basis, and expect you to take it all in stride.
That happened to me this past year. But of course, I am back to "great!" and "Super!" when I get the queries. 
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
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Stacy, I have found that I need to open up a bit and let people know little bits of things.. just because I found I was giving people a very unrealistic expectation of having more than a few kids.. that I was somehow so good at it that I never had any problems and in a way discouraging other people because they only saw the glossy picture of us out in public and not even normal everyday things.. so I'll say things like "fine, a bit run off my feet this week with lacrosse and scouts" or "doing good but my dh is gone an that always makes things a bit hard"
Still nothing real specific but enough to know that it's not all prisms and roses at my house
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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amyable
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 5:52pm | IP Logged
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stacykay wrote:
All the time. But it can backfire when there is a hard time that comes up, and others haven't even a smidgen of an iota of an idea just what you go through on a daily basis, and expect you to take it all in stride.
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This happens here all the time. Even through bad things I'm still like, "Fine, we're managing" - which we *are* but it's quite lonely "managing" by ourselves all the time.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Mimip
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| Posted: May 19 2009 at 6:22pm | IP Logged
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So funny to see this thread, especially since I just got reamed by my mom this morning but I agree with Caroline whole heartedly (is that one word?) and think there needs to be some balance.
That being said, I use the "Fine." line all the time especially with people that I do not want to open myself to attack (which in my family happens a lot). In our homeschool group here we have a motto " Be careful who you complain to." We try to complain to each other and our hubby's and keep our families to general comments like the ones Caroline said
Oh and Amy, you are not the only one with very short family phone calls
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Do you do this?
