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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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This thread has got me wondering about "activities" for our kids as they grow up. We live "far away" from everything and so part of our challenge involves driving time and expenses. Right now our almost 7yo is interested in ballet (and I realize this may be short-lived, but it just got me thinking). I had picked up the DK Illustrated book of Ballet w/ CD sampler for $1 at our library and she loves the stories, the music, etc.
I've heard from other conscientious parents that modesty in movement and dress is a problem at the local dance studio (10 mile drive)and there is only one ballet class, anyway. I haven't looked into available options in the next-closest town, 20 miles north. We would be able to "carefully select" a studio in the bigger cities that are 40 miles away...but do we really want to go there (particularly with a 7yo)? One of the biggest reasons we're homeschooling is to be HOME and strengthen family relationships.
We live in the country - we raise small animals and grow a big garden. My mom's biggest concern in our choosing this lifestyle has been that we will not be able to provide for the kids' interests through various lessons and classes and such that are offered in a larger city. Now we have an apparent "Peeping Beauty" who wants to be a ballerina while the rest of us (so far) just want to live the quiet country life. I know a lot of parents of big families who limit activities to something EVERYONE can do (like 4-H, where kids can pick different activities without the whole family being pulled in a million different directions).
So, the big question is, how do you encourage development of the whole child when they have a particular interest that lies outside of the family lifestyle? At what age do you start making necessary sacrifices - as a family - to encourage a child's interests and develop their abilities?
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Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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Stephanie,
My new plan to work with this issue in my home is--seasons.
We also live out away from town and finding quality lessons/sports/groups takes work and driving time. I have decided to try giving each child a "season."
Ds is dying to play football in summer/fall. The CYO team affiliated with our church is practicing 6 days a week, 2 hours each time, a 40 minute drive(one way) from home. I am giving him football in August, September and October. He also wanted to play baseball this spring. I told him I could not do both--same type of practice schedule. He chose football. I do not have a helpful dh so it is me alone for driving and toting.
Dd wants to dance, also. Ballet. Her season will follow his football. She can dance either at Little Gym in November and December, or a semester at a dance school starting in January. I still need to find our options for this activity. I anticipate they will be at least a 30 minute drive one way.
Know your limits. Those multi-day activities(baseball, football) are the ones that really tire me. I can get out 2 nights a week and be OK. More than that is tough. But if I know ahead of time(like football season) I can plan to get through it. And yes, i am one of those weird parents who half way through the season is counting down the days until I get "my" life back :)
Another suggestion is to keep looking close to home. Ds is very talented at piano. We were driving the 40 minutes(one way) to his lessons. That wore me out. We happened to take a "field trip" to the local, small private college up the road from our house. We walked through the music school, talked to the lady in the office, got some names and numbers of piano teachers in the area, and ds ended up playing that day for the professor that teaches piano at the college. He said he could teach him--and he is cheap! He now takes his lessons 5 minutes from home at the college.
Pray. I prayed we would find a good piano teacher that could work with ds's talent and not push. This professor is now the best thing we have found out here. It is so nice to drive 5 minutes and have this quality experience.
There are little gold mines in the country, you just need to pray and look.
As far as age, I think it would depend on interest and ability. Ds begged and begged for piano. He wouldn't let it rest. He started and blossomed. He was 6.
I hope that helps. I look forward to seeing how others deal with this issue too!
Anne
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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Stephanie,
I deal with the same problems. For me, it is too many children with different interests and not enough time or money to go around.
We aren't that far from "town", but it would be a lot of driving if my girls were to take ballet. And we just can't afford lessons. I look at the price of the ballet, or voice lessons, or swimming lessons, and I want to cry. We a blessed to have the money to live "comfortably" but we really have nothing left beyond the basics.
One idea is to see if there is an older child who is accomplished enough in ballet that could teach your daughter for a couple of years. Then you could discern if this is really a talent that needs to be pursued or a passing interest.
Two of my daughters wanted to play soccer this year, but logistically it wasn't possible to have them on two different teams, in addition to two baseball teams we are already committed to with the older kids. So, I came up with the idea of starting our own "soccer league" of homeschoolers. We now have about 15 families meeting weekly to play soccer, with kids of all ages. It has really come together and satisfied my girls' desire to play without pulling the family in too many directions.
My basic point is that we should try to find creative ways to let our kids get a taste of different things without pulling the family apart and breaking that peace that we strive to maintain by living away from "town". As they grow, we will probably have to bend more. I would pray for God to show you good opportunities that will work for your family.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 3:58pm | IP Logged
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This is a question dh and I have thought a lot about. We used to live in a big city, and now we live rurally. The closest dance studio is about 30 minutes away and the good dance studios are a good hour away. We pray a lot about what activities will be good for each child, but they also need to be good for the family. God sets children in families for their benefit and blessing. I don't believe that God would ask us as a family to have everyone sacrifice excessively for the benefit of one child, without giving us all a vision for it.
All activities we choose have to make it through the list of questions we have, like:
Can we afford this now? Does it get super expensive/competitive/time consuming later (like dance)?
Are all the practices over dinnertime?
Is the child "just asking" or is there a very strong desire?
Do they meet on days when we can make it?
Is the time slot incredibly disruptive to our school day?
Is there something else that can be dropped in order to do this?
Is this ability something we want to encourage and what is the best way to encourage it?
Is it going to weaken family closeness?
Is there a baby on the way or a newborn recently born and is it close to winter?
...stuff like that. This doesn't mean we don't sometimes make sacrifices for a child's interests, but we do it after praying over it a lot.
We are less likely to make the sacrifice for very young children (under 11), and most likely to make them for older children with a passion (my ds's worship band practice that is 1 hr away each way) or if they have less activities than other children. We do look for activities that everyone can do, if possible. We love our 4h group, which also led to neat sewing clinics for my two older girls.
One of the things we had to consider after we moved out here is gas money. I hate to be overly practical about a passion, but when gas was over $3 a gallon and we drive big vehicles...well, it has to be a part of the equation. 
My dd's would *love* to do Irish Step. That's an hour each way and its one of those things that does get more expensive and time consuming as they get older. It was hard for us to say no, but we looked into the future and saw us living in our car more than at home.  We waited for something else to come along. Inevitably, something always does. We did horseback riding lessons instead, which they love, and is close to home.
Another thought to consider is what friends they will develop. If you start making the drive to an activity, your child's best friends may all be 60 minutes or more away. We have learned the hard way with this one.  It seems better, especially for our more social children, to say no to the cool-city activity in favor of the still-fun local activity that gives them friends and birthday party invites that are within 20 minutes, most of the time.
Your kids are little. If you have a vision for animals, big gardens, and country ways, then I'd look for activities that are in line with what your family's calling is. Clover Buds (4h for little ones) is really cute. Maybe your mom just needs to see that country dwellers have plenty of their own fun things to do...not better or worse, just different from city dwellers.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 4:21pm | IP Logged
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Don't forget to look at the good things you would not have if you were pursuing something extra.
Honestly, I managed to grow up just fine without dance, sports, even swimming lessons.. and my mom was approached about training me with an eye toward the olympics as a swimmer.
But you know what, I still enjoy swimming, I can still swim.. that wasn't gone because we were moving somewhere it just wasn't feasible to pursue. And my children I think have some talent in swimming.. if nothing else they love it.
It is ok to have a talent that is not developed, and is just something you can do for fun when you want.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: April 20 2009 at 4:37pm | IP Logged
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Don't forget to look at the good things you would not have if you were pursuing something extra.[/QUOTE]
You said this really beautifully.
JodieLyn wrote:
| Honestly, I managed to grow up just fine without dance, sports, even swimming lessons.. . |
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Dh and I have talked about this a lot...expectations for activities are so different now from when we were kids. I am not convinced that a pile of activities for the average 6 yr old is really better than climbing trees in the backyard or riding bikes in the cul de sac.
JodieLyn wrote:
| It is ok to have a talent that is not developed. |
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Not often said, true nonetheless..
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Topic: ballet in the country?
