4Real Forums: When to tell your dd...

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: When to tell your dd...

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Syncletica
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Posted: April 02 2009 at 10:58pm \| IP Logged

about coming physical changes? I'm so not ready for this, but it's been on my mind for awhile now. She's a mature 8 year old. Very intelligent - could probably handle the info. She hasn't shown any signs of developing yet, but I don't know if I should wait for signs or not. She's patiently waiting for me to tell her how the babies get out and what p-liners are for. I did not start my periods until I was 13 3/4. I honestly don't remember when any other signs came.....should a mom consider her timetable to help decide when to tell her daughter? (I don't even know who told me or what they told me....I had no mom.) Also, if my dd's follow the way I grew, they're going to be flat. Something I've always been ashamed of. How do I help them accept it when it depresses me so much? Thanks for any advice!

JodieLyn
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Posted: April 03 2009 at 1:25am \| IP Logged

Well, having babies I rather had to explain earlier than not what the "feminine products" are for.. that was actually not too hard since they knew about the placenta being attached inside mommy to feed the baby.

Then following her leads we talked about coming physical changes when I first started noticing any changes.. she was just turned 11.. and I probably need to check in with her on that again.

It's hard especially if it was hard for you on the recieving end.

I think the more matter of fact and less emotional we are the easier it is on everyone.. not uncaring but no weeping or wailing over the changing or other hystrionics

As far as how we each are built.. hmmm I'd have to say just about everyone has their opinion about why what someone else got is better

well it's time to turn to the fact that we're all made in God's image and while we're not perfect we each are fearfully and wonderfully made.. however it is that God made us. Look at the advantages and work on learning/teaching the ways to modestly make the most of your shape, whatever that is. And maybe your daughters will take after the paternal females (you dh's mother or sisters etc)

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Martha in VA
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Posted: April 03 2009 at 7:26am \| IP Logged

I have this talk when mine turn 10. It's part of their 10 year birthday celebration- a date and fun activity with me and lots of conversation. Just in case I have any early bloomers I want them to be ready. So far that hasn't been the case but at least they know what to expect and i rather think they eagerly anticipate that day once we're done with our birthday date.

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MaryM
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Joined: Feb 11 2005
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Posted: April 03 2009 at 10:05am \| IP Logged

A few months ago when this topic came up, Suzanne compiled a great list of past threads and resources for that thread. It seems like a good resource to share here as well. There is great info shared by members through the years.

Quote:

Here are some Books recommended from past threads, but there may be more out there now:
Mother's Little Helper
Joyful Mysteries of Life
The Care and Keeping of You

4Real Threads from the Archives:
Catholic children's book on "the talk"
Books? Girls Growing up
Catholic stories fr. science and conception
Girls on the brink of womanhood
Those birds and bees make me nervous!
Books on Puberty for girls
Growing Girl Question

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anitamarie
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Posted: April 03 2009 at 2:41pm \| IP Logged

I can relate. I was so relieved the other day at 8 yo dd's check-up that she was not showing any signs of puberty, yet. Ped told me that menses probably will start 2 yrs after breast buds show up, if that helps. Our NFP office offers Mother-Daughter programs and Father-son programs. They are for girls aged 10-12(info on coming changes) and 13-17(more details and purity and chastity), boys are 11-12, and 13-17. That may give you some ballpark. Maybe there is something like that in your area. It sure helped my dh with older son (11).

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