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Bella
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| Posted: Jan 03 2009 at 9:10pm | IP Logged
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If a friend(not a closeone) gave you $500 for a Christmas gift, how would you repay her....or what would you do in return?
Yes, a friend,who is very,very wealthy, gave our family $500!!!! She said she knew of our continued crosses,and $$ problems. She said she felt led by the Holy Spirit, to "give" us a present,and she wanted nothing in return.
Can you imagine my shock, when I opened up her gift, to discover she gave us $500!!! 
She made it clear, when handing me the $$, that her family will never,ever be in need of anything......ever. Her husband is a research doctor,and also comes from "old money." Her gift to us, was from her heart, and said her DH would never even knew it would be gone from their checking account, and he would support her 100%.
She wanted me to spend the money, in ANY way I desired-medical bills, Christmas gifts,tithing,etc...whatever! She did say, that she wanted SOME of the $ to go to myself-in a way, that I would see as pampering.
I want to do something nice for her, or give her a sweet gift-but she really does have everything-except the horrible loss of her Mother last year,and hasn't spoken to her (s*xually abusive) father in eight years.
Here is how I have spent the money so far....
Spent $175 on medical bill
$200 on cell-phone w/plan for DH-as he commutes to his two jobs v ia bicycle,w/o any of us having cell-and he often goes from pay phone to pay phone, late at night when needing a ride.
$100 on one pair of all weather shoes,and waterproof "dress" boots,and
$80 on a very nice,warm!! coat for me,that could be used for dressy or casual-my first brand new coat in 20+ yrs.
(Yeah,I know the numbers don't exactly add up!!)
What can I do for her? I want to have her over for tea,etc..but I am so ashamed of our second hand-decorated home-especially, when she lives in a multi-million dollar home. (Yes, I am working on Pride....)
Thank you,for any suggestions.
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Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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folklaur
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| Posted: Jan 03 2009 at 9:27pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Bella, what a blessing!
Have her over for tea.
And do NOT be ashamed.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 03 2009 at 9:32pm | IP Logged
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Stop looking at the money side of what you can do for her. Look at the loving side. I had friends in college (and we're talking sad hand me down everything and poster without frames for wall art etc) tell me how "home-y" our apartment was.. comfy and welcoming.
It takes no money at all to make someone feel loved.
So it could be that simply including her in your family is a wonderful gift that no money can buy to her.
Have her to tea. Or invite her to go walking with you. Or window shopping and make it a game that she's not allowed to spend money on that trip. 
Give her the gift of you.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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aussieannie
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| Posted: Jan 03 2009 at 9:42pm | IP Logged
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What a beautiful christmas story...I second Laura and Jodie's ideas, I'd also have one mass offered for her intentions (the weight of one mass? ...powerful!)
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Jan 04 2009 at 10:19pm | IP Logged
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I would definitely invite her over for tea! And write a heartfelt thank you note. What a sweet angel in your life!
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Melanie in AZ
Colin (11/00), Nate (05/02), Lydia (04/07)
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Erin
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| Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 1:34am | IP Logged
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Bella
As a child my mum had a friend who was in a very good position financially and EVERY Christmas Madonna (mum's friend) would send us $100. Believe me that was a godsend to mum as we had little money.
The reason? When her son was little and extremely ADD mum was the only one who stuck by her whereas she lost other friends due to his behaviour.
To simply be there for your friend, to share your family with her, it sounds like that is what she needs the most. Don't worry about your house, it sure sounds like she isn't. Isn't it funny how we find it easier to give than receive. I've been pondering this recently.
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Erin
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
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Bella.... You are so blessed....what a wonderful friend! I really like the idea of having a Mass offered for her. And, a nice hand-written thank-you note.
And, do NOT be ashamed to invite her over........it sounds like she would not be at all "snobby" (for lack of a better word right now  ) about coming over.
You got some wonderful things for Christmas! 
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Bella
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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aussieannie wrote:
| What a beautiful christmas story...I second Laura and Jodie's ideas, I'd also have one mass offered for her intentions (the weight of one mass? ...powerful!) |
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This is what I've had done-at the church she went to as a child,and the Masses are being said for her DC.
I had such a HUGE meltdown the other day-one of those days where I just kept having those really ugly cries(hormonal, of course!),later that night, I realized, that I felt so unworthy of
such a gift. One of you said it- it is sooo hard, to recieve! I am just not used to people giving me things-material I mean.
So, I went, and gave my Mom some money I knew she needed-because I could-she is alive. You see, my friend lost her Mom last year. I think the Holy Spirit was trying to knock me upside the head!  I will never forget the look on my Mom's face. I wrote that in my thank you note to my friend-I did it in honor of her Mom, and to do what was right-she needed it,and that was that.
I have learned,that I am a much better giver, than receiver. Something for me to really think about,though!
Oh, and yes, I will have her over for tea-can we all just say....."Get over it,already!!"
ETA: I just read my post,and felt the need to further explain....over the last year, my Mom has gone through a lot of changes, and made a lot of $$ mistakes-always,always living waay above her means. So much so, that my siblings think we need a family intervention. She gets depressed, she shops. I do,too...but at thrift stores. I just realized, that I have been outright rude to her,and we have talked,she is trying to get her finances in order,yada,yada. It just doesn't matter. She is my Mother,I love her,and she is alive. She ran out of her hormones, and instead of lecturing her, I gave her $150 to get them. Money is money, people are what life is about. And, I know, that my friend would have done the same thing-in a blink of an eye.
Geez! This insomnia is getting to me! Bless you, if you are still reading this! I think I need to blog..... 
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Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
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Bella you said
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| I have learned,that I am a much better giver, than receiver. Something for me to really think about,though |
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And while you're thinking.. a thought that helps me is.. how do I want people to recieve my gifts? Because we have so many kids  I find that people often don't want to accept my help or anything that they percieve as "you're so busy already I can't take anything that takes more of your time". 
It's hard/hurts when people refuse what I chose to do for them.
So I try very hard not to visit that hurt upon others.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Bella
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:21pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
Bella you said
Quote:
| I have learned,that I am a much better giver, than receiver. Something for me to really think about,though |
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And while you're thinking.. a thought that helps me is.. how do I want people to recieve my gifts? Because we have so many kids I find that people often don't want to accept my help or anything that they percieve as "you're so busy already I can't take anything that takes more of your time".
It's hard/hurts when people refuse what I chose to do for them.
So I try very hard not to visit that hurt upon others. |
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Jodie, you are so right about all of this! I have been on that end in other ways-just likie yiou said-witha friend who has 8 kids,closely spaced, and I have politelky turned her down,as I knew she was already stretched.
Okay, this gets even deeper here! My word of this new year,is ACCEPTANCE. I think I need to drop to my knees in gratitude,and head for the confessional. Seriously.
Thank you, Jodie. You are a blessing, and I will remember my friend and YOU,next time I am offered help,of ANY kind.
P.S. I just edited my post-we must have been cross-posting!
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Peace and Blessings,
Bella
Wife and Mom to my sweeties!
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
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Yeah....that's a good point, Jodie. This thread has made me think a lot about gift-giving and gift-receiving too. Thank you, ladies!
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What would you do, if you were given $$?
