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Connections
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| Posted: Jan 02 2009 at 6:17pm | IP Logged
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You may have read a few of my past posts about my family's return to the Church this summer.
We decided to become open to life at the same time.
Although it is very early in my pregnancy, we are so blessed to have a "baby in the belly" (as my son likes to say).
My question for all of you with this wealth of experience being a mom, Hsing, being a wife and a wonder woman all while being pregnant is: what is essential to do on a daily basis while I am pregnant?
I ask because I had wanted to do so much this winter. Yet, I find myself exhausted and starting to feel the effects of morning sickness. My sons are 6 and 7 and I feel SO much older than the last time around. I started out carrying more weight than I should be and that doesn't help.
I want to accomplish so much but I know I should give myself a break.
So, please share with me what my bottom line should be during these weeks.
I am striving to spend time with my sons (I would like this all to be playing and discussing, etc. but sometimes it seems to be simply sitting there), read to them lots, pray with them, drive them to classes, feed them, and keep up the house.
Plans for new ideas in HSing and "provocations", etc. seem to be beyond my abilities right now. Am I cheating them?
Thank you in advance.
______________
Blessings,
Tracey
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 02 2009 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Oh, Tracey...first, thanks be to God that you are carrying a new little one!   You will be in my prayers.
Now, as to your essentials - there is really only one thing you need to do and it is easy to accomplish whether you are on bed rest, hugging the couch, or just exhausted...read to the boys! You are right, you must give yourself permission to step completely away from your expectations of the year and what you thought you would get done. Your year is not going to look anything like you envisioned. God has chosen right now for this new little one to enter your family and He will provide all that you need. It may seem that you are going to set the boys back light years in math, but I promise it all evens out in the end, and this time of relaxed/survival homeschooling will be temporary.
I have endured a few crisis filled pregnancies - the lessons the family learns while watching Mom literally give her life for the baby cannot be understated. These are the lessons you are about to convey to the boys. I know you can't put a red check next to that, but the value of this time is infinitely greater than any math worksheet you might be missing for a few weeks!
So, give yourself permission to let go...of expectations, of your lists, of some of your outside the home commitments, plans to take on *anything* new, whatever you must to nurture that baby.
Consider yourself in survival homeschooling right now until your body tells you differently. You'll know when you have enough energy to take on a bit more and your body and the baby will be quick to tell you if you've taken on too much. It is soooo important to listen to both.
Reading aloud is the only real essential in my opinion. Continue saying your prayers together. Be as intentional as you can as you discuss the books together. I'm always so delightfully surprised when I am pregnant and must drop everything but one good book. When you can't do anything but lay there and listen, suddenly you begin connecting to your children, their thoughts, little nuances you might have overlooked before. There are jewels to be found in letting go. Let's start from there and I'll give you a few more ideas if you have the energy and ability.
**If you can, gather some baskets of books together and start lining the living room walls with them. Set up your nest wherever you're most comfortable - near the couch or the bed.
**Perhaps you could set up a small basket of art supplies and paper, nothing elaborate, just enough to illustrate something exciting from a reading or something spontaneous. I drew sooooo many dump trucks from my spot on the couch with the last pregnancy.
**If you have enough umph perhaps a page of math. Keep it simple and light.
**Finally, if you are able, fresh air is so essential to the boys and to your spirits. Nature walks can take place as you sit in a chair in the sun while the boys bounce around the front gardens of your home. Try to do this at least once a week if you are able.
Confession...I use Netflix DVD's extensively while I'm pregnant and stuck in bed. Nature DVDs, Old Disney movies, fun stuff, something remotely educational...it's helpful for the afternoon when you're feeling like you could melt into the rug.
Housekeeping--Let go of a lot here as well. Your boys are young, so while they can help with a few things, you're just going to have to let go of the Martha Stewart home for awhile. Here are the essentials--
**Meals for the family. Keep these simple. Stick to comfort foods and don't be afraid to supplement a lot from the convenience side of Costco for a time. It will help your dh if you have a basic menu and a grocery list for him to shop from.
**Clean clothes. Just do your best here and ask your dh to help out.
That's it. Housecleaning can be done on the weekends and major cleanings can wait til you're over the worst or done with the pregnancy. You know best what you're capable of, and at some point you'll likely be able to increase what you do. At first though - it's meals and clean clothes.
At some point the fog will lift and you will be able to take on a little more. You'll know when. Until then, give yourself permission to enter this new season with joy for the new life and free of guilt or invasive thoughts of those things you aren't getting done. I'm praying for you.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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juststartn
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| Posted: Jan 02 2009 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
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I have had two "survivial homeschooling" years...06 and 07. Fall of 06, I got pregnant and spent from early Oct until Christmastime on the couch, exhausted, nauseated (to the point where I lost a TON of weight the first trimester)...then, about the time I really started to get my groove back (early Feb of 07), I found out I was having twins (at 21wks, I find out..). I had another month of hurriedly getting things together before the dr's put me on bedrest (they had warned me that spent generally would do that around the 25-26 wk mark)...So I was on bedrest (vertical a total of 2 hrs/day) for the next two months until I was induced....the boys were born May 7, 2007--so I basically spent the 06-07 school year teaching from the couch...
07-08 was the year of massive changes--we had alot of travel early in the year, then my DH (who had been deployed to Iraq when the twins were 3 wks old) was sent home early, medically retired, I made two househunting trips, and we moved in late March to OK from NC. We got a couple of months in after we moved and unpacked the school stuff...
This year is the first one we've had without "just the basics"--and honestly, its because I had a m/c in early Sept. Otherwise, I'd have been on the couch again for another few weeks (as it was, I'd been on it due to the fatigue/bleeding/spotting already), at least..I was due in late March of this year so I'd have had to cut the school year back when the baby was to have been born, anyway...
So we get one good solid year in, with "lots" of stuff, not just the reading, history, and math...
((HUGS))
Rachel
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Marcia
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| Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 7:41am | IP Logged
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(((( Rachel)))) thanks for sharing your story and
((( Tracey)))) thanks for being open to life.
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Martha
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| Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 11:01am | IP Logged
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reading
board games
some good family movies
remember the kids can do more than you think, so let them make their own snacks/sandwiches and don't be afraid to let them do some chores like empty the dryer and put up laundry
when friends ask what they can do to help - let them help! paper plates and such to reduce major stress times - the chore of meals/dishes/clean up.
I think I posted a list of things to do to help in these situations a while back.. I'll have to go search it.
I get hypermesis sickies that lay me low for months with each pregnancy and it's very humbling every time. I can honestly say I've seen great reward for my family. That new baby is only the most obvious of the rewards. 
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Martha
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Yes, they're all ours!
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KC in TX
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| Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 12:11pm | IP Logged
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Congratulations, Tracey!!! I'm in my first trimester yuckies as well and it's not been fun. I like all these ideas.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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Connections
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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Jennifer- Thank you so much for the detailed advice. I had tears in my eyes when I read it. The feeling of understanding from someone who has been there, I think. It is helping already.
Rachel- Thanks for relating. It's good to know you made it through with the basics!
Marcia- thanks for the hugs!
Martha- Thank you for the advice. It really can be simple and still lovely, can't it? I need the reminder to accept help (even from my husband- I want to be able to do it all). I will search for your previous posts.
KC- Congratulations!
_______________
Blessings,
Tracey
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
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Chiming in late here, but I wanted to Congradulate you Tracey - very exciting and inspirational!
I have spent my entire adult life pregnant (less a few months here and there between pregnancies!) so at this point we don't know any different.  I wish I had some sage advise to offer.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Martha
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| Posted: Jan 06 2009 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
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Connections wrote:
Martha- Thank you for the advice. It really can be simple and still lovely, can't it? I need the reminder to accept help (even from my husband- I want to be able to do it all). I will search for your previous posts.
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oh here it is, altho I don't know if it really applies here. it's under a thread about what gift to get a sick mom expecting her 6th
Quote:
how about a puke basket?
Seriously a basket full of nothing but stuff to help with the sickies!
- itty bitty peppermints
- itty bitty bits of ginger (either candy or otherwise)
- very mild teas (like chamomile or the above flavors)
- bits of dried papaya (for stomache irritation)
- air smell neutralizer (to get rid of the nauseating smells without adding to the smell mix!)
- various protein drinks (protein helps hmg, but it must be sipped ever so slowly. sometimes it took me an entire day to get through 6 oz, but at least I was getting some kind of fluids!)
- a Bed Buddy, quick snickering, it's an awesome beanbag type eye cover that is awesome for those headaches behind the eyes. and it can be warmed in the microwave or put in the freezer (terrible headaches are common sides effect of hmg, most likely due to dehydration)
- sound reducing ear muffs to help her rest in a house full of kidsor even at the hospital (come to think of it, anyone is welcome to get me those NOW! lol)
- one of those at home uterine monitor things. My dh got me one a few babies back so that whenever I got depressed laid up in bed, I could listen to the little heartbeat galloping along to remind me why it's worth it.
- one of those seabands (sometimes they help me, sometimes they don't, it can't hurt to try)
- a baby name book!
- books all about the joys of babies that she can lay in bed or the sofa and have her littles cozy up to read to (Seven Silly Eaters and Rattlebang Picnic are our favs!) and don't forget books like Angel in the Waters or Before You Were Born
- a family movie and a adult movie (both funny)
- paper plates, plasticware, and plastic cups!
Or anything else you think will keep her spirits up and make life just a bit easier. |
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Martha
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Yes, they're all ours!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: What's Essential When You are Pregnant?
