Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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LLMom
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Posted: Jan 02 2009 at 4:26pm | IP Logged Quote LLMom

Do any of you have any experience in living with a person who has been diagnosed with depression? I just had a family member diagnosed with this and living with this person is trying. If anyone has any tips or expectations, please help.

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Lisa
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LLMom
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Posted: Jan 02 2009 at 6:22pm | IP Logged Quote LLMom

I forgot to add that you can PM me because I know this is a very personal, sensitive topic. Thanks.

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LucyP
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Posted: Jan 03 2009 at 1:48pm | IP Logged Quote LucyP

Yes, I do. As a child, having been the person myself, and now in adult hood. I'm not sure what to say. I think just as the depression is a cross for the person who has it, it is a cross for the people around them. I consider in a blessing that I know depression from inside, so when I am confronted with the grimness of living wih it at one remove, I know from experience how real and debilitating it is, and how crippling the guilt can be for the depressed one.

What helps me is to keep routines going, regardless of what is going on for the depressed one. So the rest o us get up and get on, even if the depressed one wants to sleep for hours. I try to remember that sleep is needed, but also that I can't keep the children quiet and shut up all day, so by about 10am we carry on as normal. And I try to offer it up and pray a lot, using the cross to help me grow in holiness rather than just drive me mad! And see it as a time of personal and spiritual growth, as well as drawing closer to the Lord.

I'm sorry my input is so lame, and hope other ladies can be more useful to you. I will be praying for you, Lisa and for your depressed one.
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Milehimama
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Posted: Jan 05 2009 at 4:53pm | IP Logged Quote Milehimama

I've lived with clinically depressed people and currently live with a Bipolar person. I must agree that schedules are a wonderful help, especially when one doesn't feel like doing anything.

First, remember that you are not responsible for their low mood and really, try not to take it personally. So easy to say, so hard to do...

Second, I really, really recommend reading "No Greater Love" by Mother Teresa. Her perspective on loving the "unlovable" and difficult people is wonderfully uplifting and such an encouragement to "Be Christ" to others.

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Leonie
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 6:23am | IP Logged Quote Leonie

I live with a family member who suffers with depression.

And the prescribed medication doesn't always help...

Let me say, it can be difficult at times. I can tend to either blame myself or let myself get down or angry..

I've learned to be more Pollyanna-ish and to just live my life while sometimes just letting that person be. Not being sucked into the depression myself. Not blaming myself. Praying more. Going to confession a lot. Having a good spiritual director.

And never letting this loved one know that I have discussed this depression thing with others.

I wrote a brief blog post about this about a year ago. Hope it helps!



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Cay Gibson
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Posted: Jan 07 2009 at 10:34pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

I've been trying to find this thread and suggest that you have them read Kathleen Norris' new book:
Acedia and Me

It is not an easy read but is very thought-provoking and sheds a lot of light on this dark subject.

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Leonie
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Posted: Jan 08 2009 at 3:25am | IP Logged Quote Leonie

Wow, Cay, this looks like a fantastic read. I want to read it myself, as a help with understanding. I doubt, however, that I could ever get mdepressed loved one in my life to read it. Knowing this person and their aversion to books like this...

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LLMom
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Posted: Jan 08 2009 at 7:10am | IP Logged Quote LLMom

Thank you everyone for your replies. They are very helpful. For those who PM me, I will be getting back to you.

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