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tgriff3
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| Posted: Feb 26 2005 at 7:26am | IP Logged
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I guess we are now considered a "larger" family with our 5 children  so here is my question. Do any other moms of many here suffer from HG or severe morning sickness when pregnant?
With my last baby (Luke born 6/04) I was dx'ed with HG, lost quite a but of weight and had to be on bedrest and IV fluids and meds at home because I could not keep anything down. I've never been so sick in my life and am terrified of going through that again. Our lives were pretty much put on hold. The thing I remember most is that while my children are well trained to do things like laundry, dishes, cleaning and simple meals, things like grocery shopping, library returns and shopping for needed socks and underwear just didn't get done. Fortunately a few friends pitched in and ran out for things for us a time or 2 but I was sick for 10 weeks and our lives just seemed to fall apart. My husband was working 7 days a week 12 hours a day and just could not pick up the slack. There was no way I could hire someone to do things for us and my mother, though living in the same neighborhood, treats me like a leper when I'm pg.
I'm not trying to sound sorry for myself at all, I just fear this happening again if we are so blessed with another baby in the future. I would love to know if other moms have founds ways to make pregnancy easier with big families.
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Tina
4 boys (22, 16, 6 and 10 months)
3 girls (14, 9 and 3)
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Bridget
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| Posted: Feb 26 2005 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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It's so overwhelming isn't it?
I have never been as sick as you were but I'm just now coming out of the murkey fog of about ten weeks of morning sickness compounded with migraines. I have basically been on the couch. The older kids did their best to keep dishes, laundry and cooking moving along. They changed some diapers and took care of the little ones. Each of the olders was assigned to a little. I told them they were warriors fighting to care for our family.
As soon as we found out we were expecting, before the nausea set in, we took some extra money and stocked up on frozen and convenience foods that we don't normally use. Also paper products. That made it easier for the older kids or my husband to get meals.
If I had had the funds I would have also ordered some new audio books and computer math games for the children to work with during that time.
As it was, they made great use of the Leap pads they got for Christmas, they read and write tons on their own, and seem to have an endless capacity for Lego building. I don't think it set them back too much to not school all that time.
Certainly there are things that only a mom can take care of. We didn't do much structured schooling, the children missed some activities because I couldn't drive, and there are piles of things waiting for me to deal with.
Somehow we muddled through. It is so temporary and so worth it. In fact it's just real life. Mothers get sick, a child is hospitalized, water pipes burst...something big can always happen to put a family behind.
The beauty of a family is that everyone pulls together the best they can to keep the ship afloat. The children make very real contributions and sacrifices for the good of the family. A crisis forces everyone to stretch in their love and capabilities.
When you are in the middle of it, it is so discouraging. Life just doesn't flow along when mom is out of commission, even for a day, much less weeks. However, the end result, a new baby, and children that grew in maturity, is surely worth it.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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MEBarrett
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| Posted: Feb 26 2005 at 3:23pm | IP Logged
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I have always had bad morning sickness but I have never suffered as badly as you but I can understand that feeling of being totally overwhelmed and unable to do anything.
A few things that helped me, Dh brought in take-out once a week. He works long hours like your husband but he is able to bring home a meal and it always was such a relief.
Also I was able to use Peapodto deliver my groceries. They only charge $5 for delivery and they bring it right in to the kitchen for you. If they deliver in your area it is a great thing to use when you are under the weather or on those weeks when you are stuck in the house with sick kids.
My local deli would deliver staples for me as well. Milk, bread, lunch things....
Your parish might be a resource of help....
Our parish has a Christian Mothers Guild to which I belong. The older ladies whose children are grown and gone are always available and happy to help out expectant mothers - it is so nice.
My sil's parish has a Martha and Mary Society. The Martha's are the ladies who are free to help in a practical way, running errands; taking care of little people; bringing meals to the sick; driving people to church; etc. The Mary's are ladies like us who have small children and can't be a practical help but can offer prayers, suffering and fasting for a list of intentions they receive every month. If your parish doesn't have something like this maybe you and a few other ladies could start one before you become pregnant again. It is such a nice way for women of different stations in life to support each other.
A radical idea is to move to Long Island and I would love to help...
Best advice I can give. Relax. It seems like forever when you're in the middle of it, but it is really so temporary and if your house is messy and the kids are wearing two different socks and unmatched clothes for a while it's ok, everyone will survive and live to laugh about it. Especially if you take pictures.
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Blessings,
Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
O Night Divine
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tgriff3
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| Posted: March 05 2005 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
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When you are in the middle of it, it is so discouraging. Life just doesn't flow along when mom is out of commission, even for a day, much less weeks. However, the end result, a new baby, and children that grew in maturity, is surely worth it. |
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Thank you for the encouragement!! You are so right that it's all worth it in the end. I do believe the children learned so much about compassion and caring (and a little about how to flush an iv at home  ). They also learned how much mom does and appreciated it more. I don't have any reason to believe that we will be blessed any time soon (still nursing Luke-ster around the clock and no end in sight) I still have the thought in the back of my mind that I want to trust God but I don't know if I can go through it again! Well, maybe if I start freezing meals now.....
__________________
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Tina
4 boys (22, 16, 6 and 10 months)
3 girls (14, 9 and 3)
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tgriff3
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| Posted: March 05 2005 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
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MEBarrett wrote:
Your parish might be a resource of help....
A radical idea is to move to Long Island and I would love to help...
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Oh thanks! I don't know if Dh would move, he hates snow! but I am a native NY'er (upstate) and can hack it! We are members of a very small parish here, there may be only 1 or 2 other mothers my age. Most are old ladies, but even then there are only 10 or 12 of them. I think we have about 60 people in our parish. We are lucky it hasn't been closed yet.  I've tried to start a mother's group there before but there was little to no interest. I even called the parish office while I was so ill with my pregnancy to ask for help, to no avail.
I've considered leaving the parish for a larger one but our hearts are still with this little group.
Thanks for the encouragement! There still may be another year or more before I have to think about it seriously, I just have no one here with whom to discuss things like this.
__________________
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Tina
4 boys (22, 16, 6 and 10 months)
3 girls (14, 9 and 3)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Large families and morning sickness
