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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 10:07pm | IP Logged
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It seems as though we are dealing with this, but it may just be me, I see all the symptoms there. Very weepy, tired and emotional. Usually my child in question is a happy go lucky type of person, lately though it just seems like overwhelming tears just keep coming for any reason. I am at a loss, I have read Dr. Popcaks books and some of Dr. Ray's, can any one make some suggestions?
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Claudia in Southern California
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Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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MarieA
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 10:57pm | IP Logged
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Hi Claudia,
The book, The Optimistic Child, shows how to teach kids the skills of optimism that can help them to fight depression. Puberty is such a hard time...
Marie
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:02am | IP Logged
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Claudia,
Is this child a boy or a girl? I ask because my preteen daughter, while I wouldn't call her 'depressed' has certainly taken on cylical moodiness. Just this morning I was totally confused by her behavior - she has been very tired and then a very simple conversation with her Dad sent her into a tizzy of sobbing and tears. Just a bit later I realized that she began a new cycle last night.
I really think that the preteen years can be very difficult. I remember my son between 11-12 years of age was ALWAYS mopy and grunted more than he talked. He is creeping up on 14 now, and he has a much more even keel. I think they think that turning thirTEEN brings with it bells and whistles and all the freedom and privledges of an adult - only for them to realize that it's really just another little stepping stone. And with girls, there is the added stress and confusion of the monthly cycle.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:30am | IP Logged
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IT sounds like hormones to me, too. Even boys struggle with hormonal changes. My kids usually get weepy or argumentative at that age, or sleep a lot.
If you can look for ways to spend extra time with your child -- yard work, dishes, walks, trips to the store or to a cafe together, that kind of thing -- not ALL of them, but the one that seems to fit your relationship the best -- maybe you can get him or her to "open up".
Sometimes it's surprising what can REALLY be bothering a child of that age. My brother was being bullied in school. One of my children had something like post traumatic stress because of our medical experiences with the youngest in the family.
The child may not exactly know what's bothering him/her so I don't really press them to spill the beans -- but making an open connection between the two of you, so he CAN talk if he needs to, is worth a lot at that age.
With depression, look for signs like changes in appetite, lack of interest in usual pursuits, a flatness of attitude. Some medical issues can crop up and be mistaken for depression, so if the child's health seems to be affected or if the symptoms seem to be worsening instead of staying the same, visit a doctor.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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12stars
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 11:38am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
Claudia,
Is this child a boy or a girl? I ask because my preteen daughter, while I wouldn't call her 'depressed' has certainly taken on cylical moodiness. Just this morning I was totally confused by her behavior - she has been very tired and then a very simple conversation with her Dad sent her into a tizzy of sobbing and tears. Just a bit later I realized that she began a new cycle last night.
I really think that the preteen years can be very difficult. I remember my son between 11-12 years of age was ALWAYS mopy and grunted more than he talked. He is creeping up on 14 now, and he has a much more even keel. I think they think that turning thirTEEN brings with it bells and whistles and all the freedom and privledges of an adult - only for them to realize that it's really just another little stepping stone. And with girls, there is the added stress and confusion of the monthly cycle. |
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It is my oldest daughter and she sounds like yours, all of a sudden a conversation can bring her to tears. It usually is whenever, I notice it more in the middle of her cycle, and I also notice a few days before she starts her period. I am just really trying to keep the lines of communication open all the time, and make her feel and know she is being heard. She is tired and just grumpy most of the time.
I was a clinically depressed teen so I am just paranoid that she will go down the same route. I think for her though it is more hormonal and I hope it just stays that way.
It is funny that you say that about being thirteen, because she thinks it is going to be this big event that will be so much fun.
Thank you for your input Lisbet I know you have much to share  your son's story made 
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Nov 19 2008 at 11:50am | IP Logged
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Another thing is to make sure they are getting enough sleep. I went through a period of depression with my eldest when he was about 9. Turns out, he hadn't slept in awhile and was staying up listening to Adventures In Oddessy which I guess hyped him up and then he became sort of insomniac. He was a real mess, all due to a lack of sleep! I took away the tapes, made him take a nice bath before bed to relax, put a fan in his room and he slept great! After that, he was much better, but I do have to watch that this one gets enough sleep and eats mostly natural things. (Which he prefers anyway as he can "feel" the difference when he eats red dye etc.)
Also, I have no experience with girls, but it could be hormones for her. Give her a big bar of chocolate when she starts crying. It works wonders for me during "those times." That will perk her up. I have read that we actually DO crave chocolate before ourcycles. Must be something to it.
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
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Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
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William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Depression in pre teens
