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Sarah
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| Posted: Nov 11 2005 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
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I've heard here and there on this forum, people mentioning that bedtime is a happy time, a time to add a little "schooling," and bonding, etc. Please share with us some suggestions on how to make bedtime run more smoothly. Are your husbands an active part? When do you begin your turning in? Why can't we find our toothbrushes?
I'm really unhappy with how it seems to go each night and I'd love to make some goals to make it better. Anyone know where to start? My kids are: ds9, ds7, ds4, dd2, & ds-3 months
Forgive me if this has been posted before, I couldn't find it.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Becky Parker
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Just wanted to add that I'm interested too!!
Becky
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AnaB
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In our home, my dh plays a big part in bedtime which is why they get to bed a little later than I would choose, but I'm not complaining since he's doing it!
We keep our toothbrushes and toothpaste by the way, in a basket in the linen closet next to the bathroom. I usually have our baby in bed before the others. I have one of the older ones brush her teeth and I put her to bed.
The children usually shower themselves before dinner (my oldest dd showers the 1.5 yr. old with supervision--we have no tubs). After dinner, ideally we clear the table and dh does a history read aloud while I load the dishwasher. Then they are to brush their teeth and wait for him in the boys' room. Then dh may read some more to them or just pray (and wrestle and tickle) then they are to stay in bed and go to sleep. Dd then goes to her room where the baby is asleep. That's it.
I'd like all this to take place by 9pm, but as dh and several of my children are night owls, it's usually before 10pm. Hope this helps in some way.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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ShawnaB
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Our bedtime routine is currently being overhauled....here's what we are doing, and I'd LOVE your input.
We used to have a long bedtime routine with Abraham...bath, PJs,Daddy wrestle-time, teeth, several books, an extensive recap of the day, drink, potty, prayers, an hour from start to finish.
Enter Amelia, and we pretty much continued this way, except with more stories...and then more arguing over who was going to choose, and who was going to have theirs read first..etc.
Enter babies Jonathan & Jillian, and this long bedtime routine is just NOT working. We are trying to simplify and divide and conquer. Dh takes the older while I handle the babies. We do baths every other day (since the weather is cold and we're mostly inside, they aren't usually very dirty), and we alternate bathing babies one night and older kids the next. Our toothbrushes are in the bathroom drawer, which is currently "goo-ed" with toothpaste as Amelia has self-served.
We now read only one story each night from a collection of children's stories. This eliminates the "its my turn to choose" and "I don't like the one she picked" conflicts. Daddy just reads the story that comes next. We first read through a collection of Bible stories, and now were on to "A Treasury of Children's Literature" with classics like "Paul Bunyan" and "The Selfish Giant."
After the "Big" (ha, I never thought I'd refer to my 5 & almost 3 year olds as big!) kids are tucked in around 8pm, dh and I retire downstairs to nurse and rock the babies until they are out for the night around 9pm.
Even with our "simplifications", evenings are still pretty crazy in our home. I would LOVE more suggestions, especially from anyone who has experienced multiples. Sometimes I think it would be great to grow a few more arms!
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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Rachel May
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We are late eaters (6:30-7) since we usually wait until Daddy comes home so we can have a family meal. After each child is excused, he clears his place, changes into PJs, and puts dirty clothes away. No toothbrushing at bedtime  have to add that in!
While the changing happens, Bill and I have a few minutes to catch up before each kid picks one *short* book.
7:30 ish Usually I read while Bill does the dishes, no one complains about other books because they can leave if they don't want to hear it, but we do still fight over my lap or being next to me.
Here is my crazy solution for that! I've solved it by making my lap for the baby only (when the twins were the babies they both sat there). That makes two kids on each side so whoever sits next to me gets to hear their books first, then they move to the outside and let the other two move in. I pick who goes first, usually based on the order the books are brought to me.
Once I finish that--WHEW!-- everyone lines up at the bus stop (bottom of the stairs) and gets a turn being carried by their feet to the top. It is hilarious to watch the 1 yo run and slide on her back to her place in line.
I wait at the top to send people to potty and I change the baby into her PJs. Then we all kneel at one bed to pray, kisses, hugs, into bed and lights out. From a very early age, we trained the kids to put themselves to sleep which payed off most with the twins, but I realize that not everyone can parent that way! 
On most nights the kids are in bed by 8, sometimes as late as 8:30. We save the bathing craziness for the mornings since the girls' "ethnic" hair does better that way.
On the issue of twins, we definitely always found that having them on the same schedule kept us sane. Way back then  , we put them to bed at 8, and then got them up for their final nursing at 10. Bill read us Little House and the Great Brain books while I nursed. I miss those days. They are my "big kids" now at 6! I totally empathize!
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Bridget
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Here is what our bedtime routine looks like right now.
After dinner the kids that aren't on kitchen duty start showers and baths.
The three oldest each have a younger child they help. I try to send them up to get ready in pairs, the older child with their charge. If I send more than that up at once it becomes a free for all. Like tonight when a football game broke out. They were all quite shocked that an NFL regulation sized football would break a lamp. 
As they come back down they do a quick clean up in the living room and then we do read alouds. Around 8:30 or 9:00 we start our rosary. They take turns leading and usually a couple will fall asleep during prayers.
Kevin and I kiss each child and tell them 'Goodnight, God Bless you, I love you' and make a cross with our thumb on their forehead. The older child makes a bottle for their charge and tucks them in.
They have lights on till 10:00 to read. I try to get up there to read a picture book to each of the little ones in their bed but lately the baby has changed her schedule and I haven't been able to do that. The toddlers and preschoolers usually fall asleep while the big kids read with the light on.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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Cheryl
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We have two different routines. When my husband is out, I usually try to start around 7:00 picking up toys. Then the kids get in their pajamas and brush their teeth. Their toothbrushes are in a plastic cup on the bathroom counter. Occasionally, I'll find my dd's on the floor somewhere. Then they each pick a short book from a basket in our living room and I read to them. I like the idea of reading from a treasury, I might try that (or a chapter book) later on. Then I tell my dd to play quietly in her room. I tuck the boys in and we say prayers and they each pick a song that I sing to them. Then I go nurse my daughter to sleep (while the boys are chatting or fooling around.) This works very well if my dd doesn't take a nap. If she does, sometimes she's up late. The boys eventually settle down and go to sleep.
When my husband is around, I kiss the boys goodnight and he goes in their rooms and sings to them and lies in the bed with one of them. I put my dd to sleep.
Baths happen at all different times. Whenever someone asks, usually. In the summer they usually take them at night because they're so dirty. My dd often takes one after she paints or uses markers. She writes on herself, then says, "I need a bath."
Our bedtime routine has evolved. This is the best it's ever been (for me.) I expect it to change when our new baby arrives, I'll probably come back to this thread for ideas!!
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Cheryl
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Nov 13 2005 at 9:29pm | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
| Kevin and I kiss each child and tell them 'Goodnight, God Bless you, I love you' and make a cross with our thumb on their forehead. |
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Oh, Bridget! I've done this to my dc as long as I can remember...I guess since the first time I looked over the cradle's edge at Corey. That was 18+ years ago.  Something compelled me to trace the cross on his forehead and I've done it ever since before I go to my bed. I often trace crosses on my dc's foreheads when I get up during the night to check the household. It comforts me.
It's the most perfect prayer, blessing and protection to give your dc during those nighttime hours.
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Cay Gibson
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mom to 5
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JennGM
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| Posted: Nov 13 2005 at 9:44pm | IP Logged
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Cay Gibson wrote:
Bridget wrote:
| Kevin and I kiss each child and tell them 'Goodnight, God Bless you, I love you' and make a cross with our thumb on their forehead. |
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Oh, Bridget! I've done this to my dc as long as I can remember...I guess since the first time I looked over the cradle's edge at Corey. That was 18+ years ago. Something compelled me to trace the cross on his forehead and I've done it ever since before I go to my bed. I often trace crosses on my dc's foreheads when I get up during the night to check the household. It comforts me.
It's the most perfect prayer, blessing and protection to give your dc during those nighttime hours. |
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That's so neat that it came naturally to you, Cay! I'm such a fan of parental blessing. My mother still blesses me when I leave for trips or things. It's a strong sacramental, I believe! I cross my son's forehead all the time...it's reassuring to me in many ways, because I'm leaving him, I physically can't watch him all the time, but I'm entrusting him into God's hands.
Here are some links about Parental Blessings, here, here and official prayer of the Church.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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JennGM
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| Posted: Nov 13 2005 at 10:02pm | IP Logged
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One more: Parental Blessing. I loved this explanation!
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Jennifer G. Miller
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Nov 13 2005 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
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ShawnaB wrote:
| We are trying to simplify and divide and conquer. |
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I think this is the key to getting ready. We split up the kids or the jobs and come together for story and prayer.
Bedtime is a nightmare here. My 2 y/o learned how to climb out of his crib while we moved this summer, and now he's in a toddler bed. We've never had a child in a bed this early, and he loves hopping off the bed and opening the door. I had been spoiled the last several years, because our bedtime was always a peaceful time. DH and I would dress the kids, help them brush teeth, get water cups, read a book and then say prayers together. We'd turn on the music for each child, then lights out. Good night, no problem!
Now, dc #3 is totally different, and we're in a different home, and I haven't quite figured out how to get the little man to bed in a decent manner. But, what we do before our little escape artist hits is: Dress the kids in pj's, brush teeth, and read a story together. We'll say prayers together in my daughter's room, then the baby and I will go in his room to nurse. Daughter gets "light time" to sit with a book while I "try" to get the baby settled, and husband goes downstairs with older son (7 y.o)to read one of their books together. Right now it's the Chronicles of Narnia--the others are NOT interested
After the baby gets settled down, it's lights out for daughter, and then my 7 yo goes up to his room (which he shares with baby).
This all starts about 7:30. We used to have lights out by 8. Then, we told the 7 yo if we got to bed before 8:30, he could have the extra time to read. Now, he's in bed more like 9. And the baby's still awake!
I like the idea of the older ones having a slightly later bedtime, but it's largely contingent on their ability to get themselves to bed.
Also, regarding the baths--I do all three in a row. If I'm going to the trouble of giving one a bath, they're all going  Unless someone's had an accident or some other misfortune 
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Noreen
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teachingmom
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| Posted: Nov 13 2005 at 11:23pm | IP Logged
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We've had the same nighttime routine for years now. We aim to get the girls to bed sometime between 9 and 10 pm each night. We also have late dinners due to dh's long commute, so early bedtimes are not an option if we want any family time together. That's one of the great things about homeschooling-- in order to let them see dad each day, we can put the kids to bed later and let them sleep later than the school kids! 
Around 8:30 or 9:00, we send the girls upstairs to get pajamas on and to brush teeth. Sometimes dh and/or I will go up with them to oversee brushing for the younger ones, sometimes they will bring toothbrushes and toothpaste back down with them to get help on the main floor. If we don't go up at that point, someone brings down pj's and a daiper for our 2yo so we can change her for bed. Then we all gather in our family room for family prayer and read aloud. If it looks like the younger ones are about to fall asleep,we will pray first so we can do so as a family. Otherwise we will pray at the very end of the evening, after read aloud.
Our night prayer consists of a combination of rote prayers (guardian angel prayer, Our Father, Hail Mary), a song, individual prayer requests by each family member, prayers for friends and relatives, etc. We end with praying a blessing over each family member, and singing Simeon's words from the Liturgy of the Hours night prayer. Dh learned the tune years ago (I think while visiting a monastery), and we've been singing it since I met him.
Then everyone heads upstairs for bed. Dh and I go separately to each child in her bed to tuck her in and sing to her. I made up a song back when my oldest was a nursing newborn. I changed the words to the chorus of The Servant Song so that it became a song telling each dd of our love for her and God's love for her. It has become a tradition that both dh and I sing it for each of the girls every night at bedtime. The girls are so attached to this tradition that they will ask me to "sing to them" as early as 7pm, if I am leaving the house for a meeting and won't be home until after they are asleep.
If the older two girls aren't sleepy yet, they will either read in bed or just talk for awhile in the dark. The others are asleep almost the moment their heads hit the pillow. We have really been blessed with great sleepers, so we've never had to deal with kids waking up again or anything. Once they are down, they are down for the night. Bedtime tends to be a peaceful time for us. I wonder if it has to do with the fact that it is really anchored in traditions, so the girls always know what to expect and what comes next.
Hope that helps.
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~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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ShawnaB
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Wow, lots of good stuff! I love the "bus stop" routine...that is right up dh's alley. The Parental Blessings, family prayers rather than individual prayers...these things I will definitely consider. Irene, your home sounds wonderfully peaceful, and the songs tradition is lovely. Bridget, I can't wait till my "Big" ones are old enough to be helpers to the little ones. Thanks for all the wisdom.
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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Sarah
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| Posted: Nov 15 2005 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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Thanks for all the sharing. I'm really going to work on making things go more peaceful. Good ideas!!
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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ALmom
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We have night prayers as a family in our bed - the whole crowd right after brushing teeth. Since sometimes the littlest will fall asleep, he is already where he needs to be. We begin bedtime books after night prayers. I read one story for the youngest, then one story for the next. Dad usually has some of the older in their rooms at that point and reads a joint story to them. We have done seperate chapters from as many as 3 other books if they want different stories as long as teeth time hasn't degenerated into get the littles all wild before bedtime and now bedtime is drawn out.
Our biggest problem is the 3 yo who wakes up as soon as I get up to go visit with dh. I think the movement of different people in the bed is beginning to disturb his sleep (and ours) and the mattress we had is just not big enough for him. We have brought a cot into our room and now dh transfers him to the cot as soon as he is out. The cot is still in our room. Sometimes he chooses to sleep with brothers but most of the time he is still with us. I think things were a little easier when I read the older's chapters in our room as then 3 yo would fall asleep during the book.
I really like the idea of blessing the dc as we go downstairs to visit. I'm looking at all these posts to tweak our nighttime as the main difficulty with ours is that bedtime just drags out too long and then dh and I are so exhausted we are falling asleep before having a chance to visit. The other problem with a divide and conquer routine is that when one spouse is unavailable - business trip, illness, driving teen to major functions - then the routine falls apart and everything becomes difficult except the joint prayer.
Janet
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: Nov 22 2005 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
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ShawnaB wrote:
| Sometimes I think it would be great to grow a few more arms! |
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I couldn't agree more!  (And am wondering how much longer I'll have to wait before our "buddy system" doesn't involve someone screaming as if they're being tortured!)
ALmom wrote:
The other problem with a divide and conquer routine is that when one spouse is unavailable - business trip, illness, driving teen to major functions -then the routine falls apart and everything becomes difficult except the joint prayer.
Janet |
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I agree, Janet. Dh and I tried the divide and conquer thing but when stuff happened at night (as it usually does on a farm), I would be there doing it by myself and wishing I had known such-and-such was going to happen (cows get out, chickens need to get "tucked in", etc.) so I could have begun the routine earlier and not be climbing into bed so late. Since we sold the cows 2 years ago and are no longer milking, dh goes out of his way to protect the kids and I from feeling abandoned for the farm (side effect of dairy farming). Now he shares in the bedtime routine every night, making sure he's there for us and I'm thankful for every minute of it.
Here's our evening routine (which I LOVE unlike our morning routine)...
kids up from nap, snack and play outside
come in & start dinner
give kids bath while dinner's in the oven
get pajamas on kids by 5:30
set table, finish putting dinner together
kids clean up play areas
Dh home & dinnertime around 6
Everyone clears table
I do dishes & next day's breakfast prep while dh reads aloud from chapter book to everyone in next room (loud enough so I can hear too )
Kids' teeth brushed, baby's diaper changed
Wrestle Time (which I think totally defeats the purpose of a bedtime routine since it does nothing but rile the boys up but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way!)
Family Prayer Time (usually 1/2 hour, even with rosary)
Lights out in Nursery sometime between 7:30 and 8
Dh does farm business while I rock each of the kids (baby first & then lay her down in our room) and sing to them. They get to pick their song(s) rather than their stories at bedtime (no arguing this way). It surprises me that my almost 6 year-old still wants to sit on my lap and be sung to at night, not that I want the special time to be over. I wonder if it's because we're homeschooling that this is still a special time of togetherness and he hasn't reached that "hands-off" stage I saw all my kindergarten boy students go through... I try to finish by 8:30 so dh and I can have some time together.
I love the idea of parental blessing and can't wait to read up on it. So many wonderful ideas on these boards!
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Kristine
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Bedtime Routines
