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amiefriedl
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| Posted: Nov 08 2005 at 3:50pm | IP Logged
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We have a much awaited new baby now who is almost 4 months old. Her older sister and brother love her very much and spend a great portion of the day playing with her. She responds with huge smiles/laughs often.
But at Mass? Here we are in this lovely, holy environment and the children are generally being good. But they are bored (we go to a Latin Mass which is longer and generally quieter)and they have a beautiful responsive baby to play with. I don't want to stifle their loving affection poured on the baby, but it is distracting to everyone I think, well it is to me for sure.
What do you ladies expect from the older siblings when there is a baby at Mass? Do your expectations differ for a 7yo compared to a 4yo? My 7ds has as huge and tender a heart as his sister 4dd so do I ask him not to smile and touch the baby but still let her? It is so distracting when they both want to see the baby during Mass. It is driving me nuts too, but I'm more worried about the discipline issues than my prayer time at the moment.
After Mass on Sunday I declared that messing with the baby was strictly for before and after Mass. IS this expectation reasonable for their ages and the unbelievable cuteness of this baby??
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In Christ the King through Mary our Mother,
Amie
Blessed with an awesome hubby and Mom of ds10, dd7, dd3 and dd 10months.
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Sarah
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| Posted: Nov 08 2005 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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I've been through this with our new baby-3mo. and have two kids the same ages as yours 7 & 4. And we go to the Latin Mass. Its not mean to forbid playing with the baby during Mass. It gets harder to discipline kids to be good at Mass, the more you have and so I don't put up with messing around. Just like its not appropriate for you to play with another woman's baby during Mass, disrupting people. You are not out of line, but you can cheerfully, but forcefully make this the family policy, giving them plenty on time to love the baby at home.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Meredith
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| Posted: Nov 08 2005 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
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Hi Amie, we have a new baby also,he's about 6 1/2 months now. Our older children are 9, 7, and 3 1/2 and it can be very distracting for me at Mass for the very reasons you have stated. My oldest usually is serving but her two brothers are the ones who want a distraction themselves, therefore the cooing and laughing and encouragment of play goes on despite my *evil* eye. Most of the time I end up going in the back or the quiet room (which is always empty) and I nurse the baby and let my 3 1/2 yo play, or we will participate in the back, practicing to be a big boy for Mass. This enables my dh and my oldest ds (who is preparing for his 1st HC and Reconciliation this year) to try and focus on the Mass themselves.
I wish I had a great answer for you, this is what works for me (us) and it will pass I'm sure. There's nothing that can beat that love of siblings and most of the people in the pews are usually just as enamored by that love and the baby than anything else at Mass, which is part of being in the Body of Christ right?? I'm looking foreward to other responses to your question! Congrats on your new little blessing, she sounds very loved and adorable 
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Laura
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| Posted: Nov 09 2005 at 1:21pm | IP Logged
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Amie,
We go to the Latin Mass as well! 
I also have a newborn. Naomi is almost 3 months.
Noise at the Latin Mass is much more noticeable since it is so quiet. I think that you are right in trying to teach them that playing with the baby is for before and after mass. I think that even your four year old can understand this.
For us sometimes the easiest fix is to have the baby further away from the kids sitting next to their daddy.
We have seven and as of now the 2 year old is never in Mass with us. My husband and 2 oldest take turns with her in the other room. They have a circuit (??) tv with the Mass on in there.
My four year old is sometimes not as quiet as I would like her to be, but we do not take her out. When she is really "bad" I take her out and talk to her, but then always take her back in.
Your children most definatley are not being "bad" by wanting to love on their new baby, and I think you can make them understand that when you talk to them about keeping it for after Mass!
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JMJ,
Laura
wife to Ken and mom to 8 blessings with #9 due July 26,2009
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Laura
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| Posted: Nov 09 2005 at 1:27pm | IP Logged
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Oh, and a side note:
I struggle with the children being a bit antsy and bored because it is in Latin as well. Having them follow along in their children's missals and talking about all the different parts often at home and before Mass has helped alot for my 6 year old. He has been looking forward to geneflecting, and watching for the sign of the cross, the bells, to thinking "My Lord and My God" and "My Jesus Mercy" etc....
It has made a big difference.
Now if only we could find missals for young and old alike that weren't so expensive!
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JMJ,
Laura
wife to Ken and mom to 8 blessings with #9 due July 26,2009
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: Nov 23 2005 at 12:17am | IP Logged
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Here's something that's worked for us on and off, as we are currently dealing with trying to keep our boys from "playing" with their baby sister during mass. We have no Nursery or Crying Room (as my mother called it) so it's usually mildly noisy at mass here anyway. We try to sit near the front, not just so the kids can see, but because Father has made a point to ask the boys to come see him during Holy Communion for a blessing (since they're still too little for 1st HC). If the boys control themselves (they're allowed to smile at her but NOT touch her/play with her) they get to go up for that blessing. If they do not, we simply whisper to them that they spent too much time playing with the baby and have not prepared their hearts for Jesus or for father's blessing and will instead have to wait until after mass to recieve it (which father usually does when he doesn't see them in line with us at HC). It really upsets the boys to be told that they can't go with us and that they have to get their blessing after mass instead, and we've had relatively few problems with them playing with the baby as a result.
So nice to find something that works! Good luck!
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Kristine
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: siblings/behavior exp at Mass
