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LeeAnn
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Location: Washington
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| Posted: Sept 25 2008 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
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I don't know why this news hit me so hard, it's not me having my tubes tied! But I am sad for my cousins and for their mother, my aunt, who will have no granddaughters.
They have five boys between the two of them. They aren't Catholic, they're Baptist, and I know they don't think they are sinning. But it makes me sad.
The first cousin just had her third baby last week and had her tubes tied after the c-section. Her other children are 5 and 3.
The other cousin is due in a couple weeks and has already signed the paperwork. Her other son is 2.5.
They are both young, 27 and 29. In some ways, I am shocked that their doctors let them make this decision so young. And then I realized, sadly, that sterilization is probably incredibly common.
I guess we might pray for a change of heart on the one who hasn't had it done yet and for my aunt that is a little bit sad. Her only son is disabled and is unlikely to ever marry and have children, so this is the end of new grandbabies for her.
Also pray for me. For some reason I am a bit angry at them for doing this. I am now the only female on both sides of my family (none of them are Catholic btw), besides my unmarried sister, that is not sterilized. I feel like there is no solidarity among mothers here, kwim?
I'm upset about the utilitarian way they treat their fertility and I feel offended at their choice. Almost like their choosing sterilization is a public (because they made it so by telling all the family) repudiation of my beliefs as a Catholic. Does that make sense? It makes me feel even more an outsider to the family than usual.
On top of that, I now realize that many of my friends at church are probably sterilized and this makes me sad too. They are not struggling every month with either NFP or even the immorality of whether or not to use birth control any longer. They have just ended the struggle by opting out of fertility after two or three children. (I know some may be infertile, but not all of them.) I wouldn't say I'm jealous, but I'm irritated that they chose this path.
I shouldn't be angry about this, right? I'm glad my cousins live on the other side of the state, because I don't know what I'd do if I had to see them right now. I might cry or I might just give them the cold shoulder. That isn't right either. Sigh.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Sept 25 2008 at 10:41pm | IP Logged
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LeeAnn, I can empathize with your struggle. I'm praying for your cousins, all who don't know the blessing of being open to life, and...for you...and all of us who shed tears and battle anger when faced with such decisions. It is as if some of us are called to grieve for those who don't know their loss .
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Sept 26 2008 at 8:06am | IP Logged
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"For the utilitarian way they treat their fertility" --that says it all. Praying for them, for you, and for the world to recognize, accept, and rejoice with gratitude for God's wonderful gift of fertility.
Peace,
Nancy
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Sept 26 2008 at 2:20pm | IP Logged
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Angie Mc wrote:
| It is as if some of us are called to grieve for those who don't know their loss . |
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I think this is beautifully said, and I couldn't agree more. I am praying for you with so much empathy, LeeAnn. I'm also praying for your family.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: Sept 27 2008 at 8:19am | IP Logged
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Praying for them and for you. I know how you feel--and I marvel that doctors tout such procedures as desirable/responsible! What a poverty exists in our country.
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: For cousins choosing sterilization
