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sarahluna35
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
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Hello to everyone. I'm homeschooling my nearly-five-yr-old dd, Claire, this year for Kindergarten. She and her nearly-two sister, Olivia (Livi) are enjoying our days together so far. Their six-year-old brother, Michael, is in first grade at the local public school, where he's been having regular meetings with a Speech and Language Pathologist since the first of his two years of Early Intervention preschool. Michael has Asperger's, and I'm concerned about the social environment of the public school. I would rather homeschool him, but my dh isn't yet convinced that homeschooling would be best for him. He's concerned that Michael won't get enough socialization whereas I'm concerned about the quality of socialization at the public school. He's not exactly enthused about my homeschooling Claire this year. He was thinking it might be a good idea to get her into one of the local preschool programs, though Claire doesn't qualify for special ed, so it certainly wouldn't be free, and Claire and I are both much more inclined to do the homeschooling thing.
I'm hoping to persuade my dh that this is a good idea, but I think he's hoping I'll not only make sure Claire makes "little friends her own age" this year but also that I'll develop a schedule similar to that of a brick-and-mortar school for Claire and demonstrate an ability to stick to such a schedule, since he's been brought up to believe that a rigid schedule is necessary to create an effective learning environment. My mother-in-law, a champion of public education and a devoted grandmother, is pretty sure I'll ruin our kids if I homeschool them. After all, I'm kind of a homebody--okay, I'm a dyed-in-the-wool homebody--and I'm . . . honestly I'm wondering if Michael's Asperger's and his ADD traits are traceable mostly to me.
This is going to be a challenge. I don't see how it helps to make homeschooling more difficult than it needs to be. I'm drawn to Charlotte Mason's ideas, and I'm enjoying Elizabeth Foss's book, _Real Learning_. I'm hoping to implement what I've been learning, and I'm praying that all will work out according to God's perfect will for us.
Blessings to all of you and thanks for being here!
Sarah, wife to her hero, Chris (5/01), and mommy to Michael (3/02), Claire (11/03) and Olivia (12/06).
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KC in TX
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Joined: Aug 05 2005
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
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Welcome, Sarah! My oldest is high functioning autistic. I prefer the socialization my son gets in the more controlled environment of our friends. Basically, he doesn't get any of the bad socialization.
This place is a wonderful source.
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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folklaur
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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My ds9 has Asperger's (but no ADD.)
Prek and K he went to the local Catholic school.
He went for 1st, too, but by the end, even in a tiny Catholic school, kids can start to be mean.
He has homeschooled since. Which was not really an issue for us as our older dd also homeschooled - from 3rd thru highschool - she just left for college last month.
When we just moved to NV, I had mentioned school to DH. He said, no way. I was worried about finding friends for us again. DH was worried that the kids in school can be mean, and for an Aspie, the whole school environment can be so totally overwhelming anyway. You have no control over who they will be spending a majority of every day with. The "socialization" they learn may not be what you are hoping for at all.
And, oh, my goodness! Don't you feel guilty for one second thinking that his Aspie is traced to you! (you didn't actually say you felt guilty, but I read that tone into your post.)
There is a difference between being a homebody and/or introvert (I SO am a total introvert! Even when my anxiety isn't causing agoraphobia) and having Asperger's. My dh displays some mild Aspie tendencies, and his dad is, IMO, quite obviously Aspie - but I would never blame my dh. Don't let anyone ever blame you either. How in the world can you help what genes you pass on? (and that is even to say that you did. No guilty Mommies! Trust me, you will have more than enough stuff to feel guilty about over the years - no fair feeling guilty over stuff you have absolutely no control over!)
Are there any Catholic homeschoolers around you? Could you get to some activites, maybe with DH, so he sees how well-adjusted and non-abnormal homeschool kids are? 
Welcome to the forum, it is a wonderful place!
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sarahluna35
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 9:09pm | IP Logged
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Thanks, KC and Laura, for your helpful and encouraging e-mails!  I'm asking my ds questions every day about what's going on at school (that I can't witness). It drives me crazy to hear about kids who've said mean things to him or who've come close to hitting him (just yesterday, from what he's told me). I'll be calling his teacher next week to verify what he's told me.
Right now, he's laughing at the emoticons to the left of the text I'm typing. He thinks they're hilarious. 
I'd better get these little nuts to bed. More tomorrow. I guess I didn't pick the best time to type a message. Thanks, Laura, for the "No guilty Mommies!" message. I appreciated that. God's blessings to all of you!
Sarah, wife to her hero, Chris (5/01), and mommy to Michael (3/02), Claire (11/03) and Olivia (Livi, 12/06).
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MaryM
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Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 9:54pm | IP Logged
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Welcome to the message boards, Sarah. So glad you have joined us and nice to see that others are jumping in right away with specific support for your son.
__________________
Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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mom3aut1not
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| Posted: Sept 08 2008 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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Sarah,
I have three hs high school graduates, two of whom are on the autism spectrum. I hsed one all the way through and the other from first grade on. I also have an autistic son still in grade school whom I hs.
Homeschooling is great in many ways for ASD kids. You can control the social situations (I have found Cub Scouts to be great) and even leave if the situation warrants it (something you can't do in ps usually) . You can also focus your hsing on what a child needs and how they learn. However, be warned; even hsed kids can be mean; my oldest ASD child learned that the hard way.
I remember when a well-known SLP commented on the high self-esteem of my oldest ASD chld; she was only seven! That is a sad commentary on the social aspects of school, a place she visited only to go to SLT. I have no regrets in hsing my ASD children or my non-ASD child (who was my greatest challenge in many ways). Yes, there are things I would do differently now, but homeschooling itself -- no regrets at all.
Now, in some families it is not practical to hs a child with autism (my brother comes to mind), but careful, honest examination of your son's needs along with the resources available to you (so much more is available now!) and your circumstances along with prayer should show you what is the best thing to do in your circumstances.
It is highly probable that you would do a great job with *all* of your children --aspie or nt. You can not only find sympathetic moms in your situation, but also resources from places like Linguisystems or Super Duper or books by Jed Baker (I love his Social Skills Picture Books). If you need more help, there should be some resources in the community as well as help from homeschool programs that have Spec Ed support.
As for the rigid-type homescooling ...... I find that it helps a lot to have a plan. I have a very detailed list of goals for each subject area. Then I find materials to match. (Warm up your library card.) This helps people (aka Grandma and other doubters of hsing along with school officials) see I am serious, and it also helps me achieve the goals I set for my son. It's easier to do than you think; just think about what you want to learn or be exposed to or do in each area. Dress it up in educationalese, and voila! It's official! Then I decide on how many times a week I will do each subject and set aside a chunk of time to be devoted to hsing each day. Within that chunk things can be as fluid as an ASD or ADD child can manage. (I allowed my older kids to choose the order of work each day from a young age. That doesn't work as well with my little guy.)
Anyway, if you have questions of me, please feel free to ask here or to pm me.
In Christ,
Deborah
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amyable
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| Posted: Sept 08 2008 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
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Welcome Sarah!
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: New CM-hs mom
