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juststartn
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 12:22pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

I called and cancelled my "new patient" ob apptmt (I have had 2 "reassurance" visits, but no official OB apptmt, if that makes any sense...). Anyway, when I cancelled, they asked if I wanted to reschedule, and I said no, since I'd had a m/c...

Now, I am pretty sure that they would prefer to see me, to make sure that I am all 'cleaned out', and nothing remains in there, that all is well, etc. But the nurse didn't mention making an apptmt of that sort, and I am not 100% that I ought to call and do that. Is that S.O.P.? I need to get an apptmt asap, if I do, but I also know that they aren't open til Monday, and by then, well, I "should" have passed everything...

What have YOU done, after a loss? Mine occurred at home, no D&C needed, and it wasn't something we had expected to have happen (after Tues u/s and the supplementation)...

SIGH.   I hate having to ask these questions...I hate that any of you know the answers. I just wish this were all a very sad, bad dream...but I know it is not...and having not been in this place before, sadly, I need some recommendations on how to proceed...

Btw, if you could please pray that I make it thru confession and Mass without breaking down completely...we're going to the Vigil Mass this evening (DH is going to the 730a-330p shift as of tomorrow morning)....it won't be as crowded, thanks be to God, but it will still be hard...

Thanks for all of your advice, prayers and help, esp over the past few weeks...I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask more questions/request more prayers as time progresses...but it is all MOST appreciated...

Rachel



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LisaR
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 12:36pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

Rachel, I have not really started to bleed yet (which is bitter irony- all but my first I bled heavily throughout the to-term pregnancies)
so next friday I go in for a sono no matter what happens between now and then (barring emergency) to see what is going on.
I've never gone through this either!
I know the midwives/docs I have seen over the years for suspected miscarriages though have all said their first choice is never a D and C- because of the risk of uterine scarring (preventing another baby from implanting- resulting in multiple possible miscarriages) and the risk (in my case) of even heavier bleeding that would be hard to control.

hope this makes sense.
praying for you ,


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juststartn
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 12:45pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

((HUGS)) Lisa..I'm so sorry we're both dealing with this. I had to go out to town and cash a check for DH, and driving in, and out, I have to go past the point where you can see where our wee one is buried...we placed her beneath a big maple tree, covered the grave with white gravel, and a good sized statue of the Blessed Mother...so its very visible. Comforting, and incredibly saddening at the same time...

I know I don't want a D&C if I can avoid it...and I doubt I would/will need one. But I suspect that the dr's/midwife would rather me come in and have an exam, than to sit around and wait and see if anything is retained....

Hopefully this will be an easy "aftermath"....physically, at least...

Rachel

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PDyer
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 12:54pm | IP Logged Quote PDyer

juststartn wrote:
What have YOU done, after a loss? Mine occurred at home, no D&C needed, and it wasn't something we had expected to have happen (after Tues u/s and the supplementation)...


I had a dr visit with an exam (probably also hcg count, but I don't remember anymore; it was twelve years ago) after the first loss. This was also my my first pregnancy, so they did some other blood work to see if there was an identifiable "reason" for the loss.

The second time we believed the loss was coming based on hcg counts, so I was in phone contact with the nurse the week the loss was taking place. The actual passing of the baby was much different than the first time, so I wanted and needed her reassurance. I also had a hcg count about a week later to make sure my counts returned to zero, but no other physical exam.

I'll be praying for you.   

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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 1:02pm | IP Logged Quote mom2mpr

Rachel,
I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers.
I didn't have much contact with the doctor for my miscarriage. My midwife kept in touch by phone every day the first 2 days and then I called if I was worried about something. I never had an u/s or exam or bloodwork or even saw anyone. She reassured me that it would all happen naturally--which it did. I was 12-14 weeks along. I never needed a d/c. So, not doing anything CAN work out.
I really will pray for you the next few weeks. I had such a hard time emotionally--the physical part wasn't that hard. It was months (well really a year or so) before I could witness a baptism and not lose it. Hang in there.
Anne
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juststartn
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 1:14pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

This is our first loss...so its really a totally new ballgame for us. DH is having a hard time, I know...he's a "strong silent" type, so this is really difficult for me...we're trying to get thru it, and so far, so good. But you know how it is...

We had almost three weeks of "being concerned/scared", before we actually lost our wee Ava. Everything was fine on Tuesday afternoon--wiggling and waving, and a heartrate in the 150s. The midwife was talking about what a strong pregnancy it looked to be--very reassuring. And then to wake up yesterday morning in so much pain, well, I knew right off what was going on... But all the way thru the Sorrowful Mysteries, I kept praying...and praying...and yet knowing that it was not to be...

Its going to be a long time before I can pray those Mysteries without dissolving, I think. I do have to say, it was easier to "participate" in those moments in the life of Our Lord, while dealing with what was going on within me...

Thanks be to God, He gives us so much in the way of solace, and means to find/get it...how lost I--we--would be without them...

I am probably going to call the office Monday morning, and see if I cannot get in this week with the midwife I saw last week. She was very easy to work with...

Rachel





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LisaR
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 1:27pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

PS- I found some really great prenatals (Rainbow Light Just One) and plan on continuing to take those, even though I could not bear to even look at the word on the bottle this am...

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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 3:07pm | IP Logged Quote mellyrose

Rachel, When I lost a baby a few years ago, I had to return weekly for bloodwork until my hcg levels hit zero. I think I had one u/s after the loss bc my hcg levels weren't dropping as quickly as they expected and they were concerned. I think I went 4 weeks after my loss before my numbers were low enough.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My boys still talk of our baby in heaven.

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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 6:57pm | IP Logged Quote KerryK

Rachel,
My experience has been like the others. I have had both natural miscarriages and D&C's. In the case of the natural miscarriages, I did go in for weekly hcg levels to be sure they were going down. If you are retaining anything, they usually won't go back down to zero. Even so, it can take time. If the loss wasn't really early, I also went in for a follow up four weeks afterward.
Basically, as long as you are not having unusual symptoms like fever or extremely heavy, prolonged bleeding, you can assume you're doing ok.

The follow up visit is the one I never want to go to, to sit in the waiting room with all of the obviously pregnant women can be hard. One of the things my doctors were always looking for at the followup was my emotional state, making sure I was handling it ok, and they were always trying to give me hope for the future (although by now noone tries to do that anymore - they just think I'm nuts!)

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juststartn
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Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 9:44pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

I'm dreading that visit. If I can get in on Mon/Tues, it will be a weekish since I went in and saw her on the u/s, wiggling and waving...hard enough, that, but all the other women...well, that won't be easy, either...

Rachel

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Posted: Sept 10 2008 at 12:22pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

Well, was able to go in on Monday afternoon...four hours of sitting in the waiting room, an u/s, and the dr said all looks great, and if we want, we can ttc again in 6 wks. I figure it will be longer (my body is far from normal hormonally at the best of times), but it is good to hear that there was no need for a d&c...

And, a bonus, he knows his NFP (even though he isn't a Catholic), so we were able to discuss that nicely.

Rachel

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Posted: Sept 10 2008 at 12:59pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

I can't believe this . I am such a "bleeder" with two disorders to prove this. I am so crampy, for over 3 days now, and not a single thing happening. I go in friday morning for a sono to see how things are coming along.
I am dreading the waiting room full of the 6 week postpartum mom and babes, and the pregnant moms.
I just want this to be over.
Rachel, praying for you. I'm glad you have that visit behind you, and that your Doc is familiar with NFP, bonus!!

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Posted: Sept 11 2008 at 12:57pm | IP Logged Quote KerryK

Rachel,
I'm glad everything went well, and you will be all set for future ttc. Lisa, have you started yet? I myself am also a "bleeder", so it was always odd to me that half of my miscarriages were "missed miscarriages" - the first one I carried for 3 1/2 weeks before we even knew about it. The waiting is hard, though, and you will feel so much better when this part is done.

Still praying for you both!

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Posted: Sept 11 2008 at 4:24pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

no, nothing is happening but feeling really crampy and bloaty for a few days now. the strange thing is I had a uterine cavity full of blood and cysts, (which occurs with all my pregnancies) and so they had told me to prepare for a really "big bleed" (like what usually happens with pregnancies I even carry to term) so where has all of this blood gone, with no progesterone to sustain the uterine lining?
I have no idea.
I go in tomorrow for a sono. what a bummer of a week.
thank you for asking

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Posted: Sept 11 2008 at 10:46pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

Oh mercy, Lisa!!! Many prayers, that things straighten up for you soon!!!

I'm temping to see if my hormones are getting back to normal. Nope. They were dropping, but are back up again...I wish that they would drop. And stay down. Its bad, temping "pregnant", when it's been a week tomorrow morning.

I'm dreading it...

Rachel


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Posted: Sept 12 2008 at 12:01pm | IP Logged Quote LisaR

well, everything looks identical to last week. Dr says we just caught this right when it happened with bloodwork, and that many times a baby could have died weeks earlier before bleeding starts, and a woman does not know until she starts to bleed.
So, I go in in two weeks, if there is still nothing happening, to discuss what I might do.
It was so hard to see that nicely implanted baby in sack again, so still....

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Posted: Sept 12 2008 at 1:00pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Oh, Lisa, I'm so sorry! What a very heavy cross! I'm still praying for all you gals!

God's peace be yours!

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Posted: Sept 22 2008 at 6:13am | IP Logged Quote KerryK

Lisa,
Just wondering how you are doing?

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