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JennGM
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Thanks for humoring me on the age polls. Dh was really struggling with the idea of our son graduating from high school at 17, or college at 21. He didn't think it was "normal". So I said I'd ask.
While my son is regulation age for starting Kindergarten, he's a young 5, so that's the other question we're pondering. Do you take into consideration the social skills of a child if they are being homeschooled? If he was to go to a real Kindergarten, I think I would hold him back, because academically he's really ready, but emotionally and his fine motor skills he's not. I've heard that's typical for boys.
But do you disregard that in a homeschool situation? He enjoys the learning, I just feel I won't push and let him lead. Perhaps we'll hold him back, spread out this year into 2?
What do you do for your child who is a young Kindergartener?
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Family in Feast and Feria
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missionfamily
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Jenn--Follow his lead. If he is bright and ready to go, which it sounds as though as he is, go for it. You can always slow down later if he needs to, or re-adjust for high school. Or he could have his master's degree by the age most people are finishing college.
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Colleen
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Mackfam
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Exactly what you're suggesting, Jenn...follow his lead. No pushing, just enjoy the learning he is seeking. I wouldn't even worry about taking 2 years in K either, chances are, he's going to leap ahead academically with any attention and guidance from you.
Social skills and fine motor skills do come later for boys and how wonderful that he will be able to hone those in the gentle environment of your home. The playing field does seem to level off on its own somewhere - whether they start off behind or ahead - somewhere along the way it all evens out and a child just naturally ends up where they should be academically when they are allowed to learn in a relaxed, enjoyable, and gentle way.
My S. is a year younger than her peers in the 7th grade. I don't push, it's just where she is. She doesn't do genius level work or anything, she's just comfortable doing this level of work. It's one of the things I absolutely love about homeschooling. There is no need to push or hold them back - I can let my children learn at their own pace.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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guitarnan
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Jenn, this is exactly the question I faced when my dd, then 4, started teaching herself how to read. To this day I don't think I taught her much about reading, because she was so motivated to learn for herself. So, we started K and finished most of the work in less than one year. Now she is beginning grade 6 at age 10. Here's where we're having to carefully watch things, because she's still doing very well academically, but is now eligible for middle school youth group and things like that. There's a big difference between my dd at 10 and an eighth-grader. But...I'd do it again. She was more than ready to learn and I would have had to fight her for a year to stop her from reading - how silly is that? Stopping a child one year and then telling her to go ahead and do the same thing the next year?
At a young age, child-led learning is wonderful and the ideal situation. You may find that your son is very advanced in, say, reading, but at or below grade level in some other area (at my house, that's penmanship). In the end, your son will grow to love learning because he can find out about the things he wants to discover without being held back artificially.
(Ask me some time about how I taught myself cursive writing, only to be punished for trying it in first grade...)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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We set the official age (have to tell the state when we start homeschooling) at the age we would use if they were to go to the public school. And if they start sooner or finish sooner.. it doesn't really matter. 
Anything else.. sports/ccd/etc we go on a case by case basis. My oldest son I think right now is 5th grade sports and ccd and 4th grade scouts (to be with his cousin who's a couple months younger is all). and officially 4th grade. But we don't really follow grades at home.. we just do the next thing at the level they need.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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folklaur
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This is one reason why we don't do "grades." I know some people have to because of the state. We don't, and I am glad.
Because - even at 18 - they may *not* be ready to "graduate" and attend college...or they could be ready at 16.
And it is even harder at the younger levels (K, 1st) as the range of "normal" is HUGE, it is just all over the place.
So I just decided I wasn't going to worry about it (because my June birthday 6 dd is a whip in some areas....but can't read. I think she could, she just has no desire what-so-ever. And my ds9 can read whatever you put in front of him, but emotionally/socially, I know he does better with kids about a year younger.)
For "other" activities it would also depend - my dd is pretty talented at Gymnastics. They have already told us that the Level she really needs - as soon as she gets her cartwheel just right - is usually for 8/9 year olds at the very youngest, and is a young 6 - but she is ready for it. We aren't sure what to do - we do *not* want to push her. (And my heart is in my throat as I watch her jump on that stupid balance beam, let me tell you!) And I can't say I want her with a bunch of public schooled 9yo girls either - it was just that type of situation that was what led to hs-ing for us in the first place with oldest dd18.)
But, like with Scouts - we go by what grade they would be in school.
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Marybeth
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We held back. (no pun intended) I am happy with our decision. Well,I should be since I made it.
You know him best,Jenn. You can slow down when needed and take your time. I like that ds had time to really play and use his imagination for another year. We did some schooling but there wasn't any hurry to our day.
A woman in our local group started her daughter in K as a young five. They took an extra year before high school to unschool. They did apologetics,read classic books together,spent time at the museums in Chicago and really had many hours of family time. Her daughter is now in challenging private high school with very limited time to be home and relax with family. My friend is so pleased with the year they spent enjoying each other and learning as a family.
The only time I pushed ahead was this past year with Confession and First Holy Communion. Ds was the age but not the grade. He did wonderfully. I had in mind to show the First Communion notebook if anyone challenged us. Nobody said a word to us.
Hope you feel peaceful about the upcoming year. Enjoy your new adventure!!!
Mb
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Marybeth (Mb)
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MaryM
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Remember you can hold back at any year - it doesn't have to just be when you start. If it seems like he's ready to start, do it. If at some point it seems like it would be better in the long run to have him finish later, he can "repeat" any grade along the way. When you homeschool there is no issue of social stigma or anything with it because frankly it's just another year at home. And you are in control of the curriculum so even the "same" grade wouldn't be the same at all.
Just my two cents...
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Mary M. in Denver
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lapazfarm
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I think grades really become irrelevant when you homeschool. Even once you designate a grade level, that doesn't necessarily mean they will be doing work in every subject at that exact level. I know mine are not. he may end up several grade levels ahead in one subject and behind in another. If it were me and I lived n a state where I had to officially enroll I would put it off as long as possible, yet still continue to teach them at their own level, whatever it may be.
Not sure that makes any sense the way I am explaining it, though.
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Theresa
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Lisbet
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I agree with everyone else here, I really think grade levels are irrelevent when homeschooling. I have some kids that are working in 3 different 'grade level' books in different subjects. It's one of the flaws I find with Seton too, is that they don't allow for skipping a grade level, so I have a 13 year old working at an 8th grade level each day when I know he would be fine, better actually, at a higher grade level in most areas. I don't get it, because they don't hesitate to allow students to work 'behind' grade level, kwim?
I also think that age in relation to grade level is so focused on in our culture that the individuality of each child is kind of lost and he or she is automatically labeled across the board according to what 'grade' they are in. (does that make sense?)
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Mary G
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The thing I hate is even having to put on a grade on any of them ... either starting out or as they progress. I know some states require "compulsory schooling" at a certain age up until a certain age. But this is all so unnecessary.
When asked, the kids are in the "grade" they'd be in public school but since we do about half our subjects together and each of my kids is at different levels in math/reading .... I don't really worry about it. If the curriculum says "K" or "5th grade", but my 3rd grader fits it than she'll use it ...
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MaryG
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mom2mpr
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My ds was emotionally young at kindergarten age. He was also behind in his fine motor skills. But, he was reading, and quite bright.
After a visit to the local school to see if
1) he could go half day and
2) they would encourage him to keep working on his reading,
I decided he would do best at home.
We have been home ever since.
It works when you work with them. We did a lot of reading together-he read to me and I read to him. We LOVED these Sonlight years. We curled up on the couch with his (few) workbooks and he told me what to write. We did a lot of special projects, games. Funny thing, we used Handwriting Without Tears printing books and he decided he wanted to do cursive. He begged and finally I bought the book. We took it on a trip and he worked through most of the book on the airplane.
Kindergarten is not a huge deal. You can do it in 2 years. You can skip it. It seems to work out, especially with the smart, motivated kids.
Enjoy this time, it goes by so fast.
Anne
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JennGM
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Ladies, THANK YOU! I so appreciate you sharing your own experience and advice in this area! I'm glad it echoes what I thought.
MaryM, I had the same thought, that I could repeat at any time, and because it's homeschooling, it doesn't have to look the same. The world is my oyster!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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lapazfarm
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Here's an anecdote to show just how irrelevant grades are:
On our trip to Alaska, when we crossed the border between Canada and the US, the border patrol officer asked JBug what grade she was in. She answered, "Hmm...North, I think. Or maybe south, I'm not sure."
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Theresa
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Carole N.
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Jenn, mine have been confused about grades as well. My ds is only starting to track it because of his "advanced" age and the fact that he is ahead of his friends in the states (they start 1st grade here, not kindergarten).
And I agree with what others have written ... sometimes they are ahead in certain subject areas and sometimes they are on level. What is more important is that they are learning!
Your ds is ready to read and learn and he may take a little longer in certain areas due to developmental stages, but I know that you will provide him with ample opportunities to develop in these areas!
My dd was a late reader (unlike her brother), but when she finally decided she could read, she read in a big way!  I started her in kindergarten at barely five because I knew that when she read, she would read whatever she could. And it is so true.
Let your ds lead you to what he wants to learn. I truly believe it will be a great experience for both of you. And you will learn along with him.
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Carole ... in Wales
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Those Starting & Graduating Age Polls...
